Who gave you the RIGHT to HURT me...?

@abhax123 (1695)
India
October 5, 2007 10:11pm CST
friends i need a suggestion, plz tell should i be a friend with a person who hurt me a lot ... we werent talking for 2 weeks now all of a sudden she today send me a sms that she is sorry and can we be friends again... i really dont know what to do.... she was ignoring me i felt i was been used by her she would only remember me when she as some work for me... otherwise she would be happy with her friends... should i be friends again with her?
1 person likes this
10 responses
@CaitBaby (446)
• United States
6 Oct 07
It all depends on what she did to hurt you so bad. Sometimes a "sorry" isn't always good enough, and sometimes it's best to just end friendships if things are going downhill. Talk it out with her, though, and do your best to repair the friendship. If she has this before, though, I'm thinking you should just forget about her. Good luck!
@abhax123 (1695)
• India
7 Oct 07
Thank you people for all this it really helped 2morow im going to talk to her and tell you the outcome of this most probably i will patch up again with her but this time if she again hurt me THAT IT FOR OUR FRIENDSHIP...!!!
@abhax123 (1695)
• India
11 Oct 07
Well people we finally had a talk and i gave her a second chance but i told her clearly that IF THIS HAPPENS AGAIN this would be it... Thnaks a ton for all your advice...
@Darkwing (21583)
6 Oct 07
Well, on the grounds that she texted you and said sorry, I think you should consider giving her a second chance. If you're not too comfortable with the situation though, lay down a few ground rules and tell her you have to build on what you had before. Tell her how you felt about being used. This is the perfect time to talk, and you hold the cards, so go ahead. If she doesn't like your questions, she will probably go off again anyway, but if you can handle that, surely it's better to get things out in the open and sorted. Brightest Blessings.
@abhax123 (1695)
• India
6 Oct 07
Hi god bless all i know what u trying to say but once that breach of trust is broken i really dont see anyway to replace it and i know she will go away anyway...
@Darkwing (21583)
6 Oct 07
Then it seems you know deep down what you must do, and I wish you luck in doing it. I've been in a similar situation for about ten months now, with a very close friend, who is not sure but thinks, and probably hopes that I don't know they've broken my trust by lying to other friends who know me as well, and have come asking me questions. They know now that there have been lies and deceit and I'm just waiting for the crunch. I'll always stand by my friend, but the trust is not the same... it needs strengthening again. Brightest Blessings.
@galoforce (263)
6 Oct 07
if she only uses her then i dont think thats someone you should aspire to be friends with, though if you need the money from the work then just play her as she does you. thats what i suggest anyway. good look in your desision.
• China
6 Oct 07
Hi ! I think you should give her the second opptunity.Becuse we are convinced that a real friendship is important for us to keep on.but if she do not value it .you must get her away anyway.good luck friend.....
@abhax123 (1695)
• India
6 Oct 07
will surely give her a second chance but this would be her last... if after this she treats me like dirt its all over
• China
6 Oct 07
why you forgive her? i don't think there is need to do so only when she change and apology for it. but you can choose to accept ot not. i think i will trust someone after he hurt me. but it is only my opinion, you can do things you like. wish you good luck.
@kevere26 (223)
• United States
6 Oct 07
If she apologized for how she behaved and what happened, then forgive her. I can't forgive another person when they don't take any responsibility for their actions. None of this means that you have to continue or discontinue your friendship with her. From what you wrote it sounds like she uses you. Listen to your inner truth about her and follow your knowledge. It will serve you well.
• China
6 Oct 07
frankly speaking, i think you should not make friend with such kind of people. as you said that she onle remember you when she need you to do something for her, i think she said sorry to you maybe she need you to do something for her again. a real friend will remember you whenever she is happy or angry, a real friend will share everything with you, and never ingore you. even she has some other friends she also forever know your exist, and care about your. a real friend will never think your are worse than her other friends. so i think she is not a real friend to you, as you said, she was using you.
@abhax123 (1695)
• India
6 Oct 07
Well thats the issue i feel she uses me and then when the work is over she just forget me and only remember when she has some work or need help... i cant really carry this type of relation
@cutepenguin (6431)
• Canada
6 Oct 07
Only you can give someone the ability to hurt you. If you feel you cannot trust this person again, then you should move on. You can maybe accept the apology, but just not try to be friends again.
@raijin (10345)
• Philippines
6 Oct 07
I guess you really have to talk about this issue, as this is a problem that only the two of you could resolve. You ask her what is it that she doesn't like about you, of why she keeps on hurting you. It could be because that she's only using you, but that would be an unfair judgement for her. So it is better that you settle this both privately, am sure that you'll get the real answer from her.
@fhm1987 (243)
• Pakistan
6 Oct 07
u should forgive her start a temp-friendship(for few days) and decide after her behavior with u during this period of temp-friendship. hope u got it.
• Philippines
6 Oct 07
Of course, you can still be friend with her. Remember, she just combe back to you when she has work for you to do. If this time comes, say NO to the work to be done. Tell her you're busy, not in the mood to do it...not a machine to be pushed when needed. For sure, she will get hurt and she will not come back to you anymore....As a real friend teach her responsibility, tell her to do her own work. Be firm, for sure your heartache will transfer to her....he,he,he!