do you still believe in courtship?
By zer0charly
@zer0charly (5614)
Philippines
May 9, 2007 9:10pm CST
its funny to hear my grandmother and my parents stories when they were still young..they always told me that if a guy likes a girl,he should first court her and made some sacrifices..(serenades them,doing some household chores..something like that..)to prove to the family that he deserves the girl..funny though it is true..that's why old folks always compare those things with our generation..
on my own point of view,i still do believe in courtship..as a matter of fact that's the way i wanted..if a guy likes me,courtship for me is one of the many ways of getting to know each other..but some people say that if a guy courts you,he's just showing the different side of him..he just doing some things just to impress you..
i dont know..but,it is a different kind of feeling if the guy is courting me..made some sacrifices..its a sweet feeling..
how about you?boys..do you still court a girl?girls?do you still want a guy courts you?
8 people like this
34 responses
@Ephylyos (154)
•
10 May 07
Oh, Romantism ... What a big word that most people forget, I consider myself as a big romantc, and I think that courting is lost unfortunatly, who do not dream of a bunch of flowers, a dinner by candlelight, a nice background music, and been driven back home, with just a kiss. Waiting for the next date to see if he listen to you and decide if yes or no you are ready to go further ...
I like to think that a few men are still romantics, we just need to let them find us !!!
2 people like this
@DavidReedy (2378)
• United States
10 May 07
It's getting tough though, for us to find each other. A romantic can stand having his heart stomped on and his methods humiliated so many times, meanwhile everyone, male and female is getting jaded--and they pass the experience on to the next person to come into their life. vicous circle.
1 person likes this
@zer0charly (5614)
• Philippines
11 May 07
yeah..i am also a romantic person..and i do love romantic guys..and it was so sad that there are only few men who are still doing those things..
@cherriemae (3370)
• Philippines
10 May 07
of course, i still do believe in courtship because i wanted to know if the guy really trusted and that he really respects me as well as my parents..but in this generation it's so sad that courtship is already gone, there are still doing it but most of the guys are like to have a girlfriend in that instant, also it's ok with the girls to have that kind of courtship..guys should need to sacrifice so that we will know how long is there patients..hehehe
@zer0charly (5614)
• Philippines
10 May 07
yeah thats right..coz now a days,guys patients are not that long..but i guess,like the other one wrote,we need to be friends with them,coz sometimes courtship is one way of men to show only their positive side.
@askmo_si_rodel (59)
• Philippines
11 May 07
ahh the wonderful word called courtship...I guess nobody does it now. It's one of those things that have been lost in the advent of modern technology. I've seen and heard of young people meeting thru text messages and ending up together thru them. Internet also played its part thru YM, chatting etc...But if you ask me which do i prefer? It depends on my intention. If i just wanted some fun, i would prefer the internet, or some modern ways. So girls beware. I courted a college classmate using a mixture of both modern and traditional one, when i say traditional i mean the usual thing that a guy do when pursuing a girl, sending cards, chocolates and roses. We both get along and found common things between us and enjoyed each other's company. I would take this discussion one step further, find someone whom you can enjoy being with, whether its just watching TV or malling, or having coffee. Its these simple things that will decide whether you're compatible with each other. Me, I've found one, I'm married to that college classmate of mine :)
@askmo_si_rodel (59)
• Philippines
11 May 07
Yup, we still do what we enjoy doing some 10 years ago. Malling, watching movies and having coffee at our favorite coffee shop. The difference now is that we're not just the two of us, we have our very own wonder boy to look after whenever we're in the mall :)
1 person likes this
@zer0charly (5614)
• Philippines
11 May 07
wow..what a wonderful story..its good to know that doing those things,you've found her..i guess..you courted her..but in another way...
@zer0charly (5614)
• Philippines
15 May 07
how sweet it was...i hope someday,ill do those things together with d person that i love and with my siblings..
@yan_i24 (258)
• Philippines
11 May 07
Some guys court the girl just for impression, some guys do it sincerely to prove something. You can never tell unless you'll know the real character of the guy..so If somebody courts you..better be careful, but at the same time be not too judgemental to the guy specially if he is really sincere.
Courting someone is really sweet, but you can't blame guys nowadays if they don't want this courting process because they are here in a generation where courting is not a prerequisite. Well anyway if it is a prerequisite of the girl, the guy should follow if he really wants to prove his love to the girl.
@yan_i24 (258)
• Philippines
11 May 07
You are correct that courtship "should" be a process, But since this is the generation today, (Speaking in general) even other (not all) girls themselves doesn't care if there is no courtship process happened, specially if the girl loves the guy too. All I can say here is if the girl wants the courship as a process, the guy should go to it whatever it takes if he really wants to win the heart of the girl, whether the guy wants a courtship process or not. Speaking for myself, courtship should be a process and I will do it..in this way I can show my sweetness and sincerity to the girl I'm longing for. =)
@zer0charly (5614)
• Philippines
11 May 07
on my own points of view,courtship is not a pre-requisite of a girl..i guess that should be the process..girls wouldnt be judgemental if guys were really be sincere on what they are showing....well,i guess,not all guys dont want courtship..there are still some guys who likes girls to be more challenging..
@ratyz5 (7808)
• Philippines
18 Apr 08
Courtships like that are more often heard in provinces but, now-a-days, even provinces are catching up with things from the city.
Then again, courtship stories are still nice to hear. Especially when it seems that the guy is trying to convince the perhaps to be in-laws than the actual girl being courted. More difficult and more challenging.
Courtship now has changed, I guess there are still doing it in old school at the province which I find really admirable.
If I'd be couritng a girl I like, I really like to prove that I like her through the hard way of course. Its more rewarding that way.
@ratyz5 (7808)
• Philippines
18 Apr 08
Hehehe, wow, best response huh?
Thank you so much 
Here's the comparison with courtships I can tell between provinces and cities:
In the province, aside from hard work, you also have to have a lot of resources in case the things that the perhaps to be in-laws asks for certain things like three full grown hogs to be roasted on an upcoming birthdays or festivals. If a guy isn't rich, he at least needs to be able to come up with such demands like that. That's why I find province people more helpful to one another.
In the city, you need more money than effort. Of course, you'd have to do a lot of effort to earn money but, you really don't need to show that hard work aspect to those that you are convincing or courting. The demands are more expensive sometimes and those that you might ask for help would later on be asking for favors that are more demanding afterwards. Though I am not stating that it happens all the time, the bonding in city peopel seems to be too tight for just a few compared to those in the province.
So... I just hope that if I'm going to court a young lady, I wish her parents were brought from the province 
Here's the comparison with courtships I can tell between provinces and cities:
In the province, aside from hard work, you also have to have a lot of resources in case the things that the perhaps to be in-laws asks for certain things like three full grown hogs to be roasted on an upcoming birthdays or festivals. If a guy isn't rich, he at least needs to be able to come up with such demands like that. That's why I find province people more helpful to one another.
In the city, you need more money than effort. Of course, you'd have to do a lot of effort to earn money but, you really don't need to show that hard work aspect to those that you are convincing or courting. The demands are more expensive sometimes and those that you might ask for help would later on be asking for favors that are more demanding afterwards. Though I am not stating that it happens all the time, the bonding in city peopel seems to be too tight for just a few compared to those in the province.
So... I just hope that if I'm going to court a young lady, I wish her parents were brought from the province 1 person likes this
@zer0charly (5614)
• Philippines
18 Apr 08
LOL.so you mean ladies here in the cities were so expensive?..LOL.
1 person likes this
@zer0charly (5614)
• Philippines
18 Apr 08
..nice answer.
I guess you explained it well..
-keep on responding!
1 person likes this
@hbaby_mj77 (43)
• Philippines
10 May 07
Yes I do. It is normal to undergo the stage of courtship. It's when two people get to know each other well and develop intimacy. We all know that it takes time to know a person. So it's important to have a period of courtship.
2 people like this
@zer0charly (5614)
• Philippines
10 May 07
we do have the same idea..because of courtship,2 persons develop intimacy.
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
24 Sep 08
i believe in courtship, not a very long one but just a few weeks or months for the guy to be able to show how much he is willing to do for the person he likes or loves. you see when i have gotten to know a person we jumped into a relationship already and i guess it was my mistake that i did not get to know the person first because i used to think i can get to know him when we are already going steady. but i guess what is right is to date the person, get to know him and then go steady with him. besides, it is always nice to feel you are being treated well. hehe you'll regret if you try to forget about these and quickly jump into relationships.
1 person likes this
@zer0charly (5614)
• Philippines
25 Sep 08
and of course, building a friendship with that person. I guess that's the best way of getting to know each other.
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
6 May 08
i believe it is important.. i mean for a guy to tell a woman that he likes her. and that should be the start of his courtship.. and dating for these two people who are getting to know each other.
but of course, i believe too that if you love a person... why wait to confess your love for the guy? i think the love must be started already, besides the number of years that you are together and how you make the relationships work is all that matters.. i have known someone who have courted a girl more than the number of months that they were together.
1 person likes this
@zer0charly (5614)
• Philippines
23 Sep 08
for some reasons, I agree with you. but not all who started at courtship wouldn't last. it really depends on the people who are handling the relationship.
@rsa101 (37969)
• Philippines
24 Sep 08
Well I am into courtship but not the traditional way like doing chores for the girl or making some sacrifices just to prove their love to the girl. they may sometimes just be superficial in doing so. Well I guess there are many ways of courting a girl nowadays and most are really not that heavy or hard as compared to before.
In my case me and my wife just started as friends that bloomed into an intimate one then we just decided to be lovers. It didn't go through the formal courtship as I already knew her as a friend already so there is nothing that is needed to know more of me or her.
@zer0charly (5614)
• Philippines
25 Sep 08
uhh..that is so sweet. I believe that friendship is the best way of getting to know the person that you really like aside from courtship.
@TakeThisName (769)
• Canada
23 Sep 08
I think it woud be nice for awhile but i like to do things my way and woudl probably end up annoyed after awhile. It might be nice in the beginning but i can open my own doors and would be irritated to stand by my car and wait for some guy to open it for me.
1 person likes this
@nengs10 (3180)
• Philippines
2 Apr 08
Yes, I still do even though men nowadays are different. Most of them do the shortcut way of courting the ladies. Well, courting is one of the most exciting part, I think, because there you would know fully the girl. It is a make or break stage for me since If I don't like the personality, I just stop courting.
1 person likes this
@zer0charly (5614)
• Philippines
18 Apr 08
yeah, I agree with you, but friendship is a good way of getting to know the person.
-thanks for responding!
@chrysz (1602)
• Philippines
2 Apr 08
I would love to be wooed and I would also try to woo someone I love if needed :-) Recently, my hubby started courting me again like he brought me a dozen roses on my bday, making love notes/letters posted as testimonial in friendster, doing errands for me, etc. It really feels great being told and shown how important you are to them.
1 person likes this
@zer0charly (5614)
• Philippines
18 Apr 08
wow! I like that kind of guy!
you are so lucky to have him..
and I'm sure he also does lucky to have someone like you.
-thanks for responding!
@MinamiKesh (527)
• Philippines
22 Apr 08
YES..of course..courtship is not just funny old folks but for me its a standard operating procedure to show love to a girl/and as what is the trend in our culture here in the PHILIPPINES .....but it depends on the other countrysides...especially in the arrange relationship.....
@vivapinay (231)
• Philippines
23 Sep 08
When I was younger, yes I do believed in courtship but now, the young generation are very advanced that the real courtship doesnt count anymore. Sometimes after dating once or twice, they are together already. Just my point of view!
1 person likes this
@zer0charly (5614)
• Philippines
24 Sep 08
LOL. yeah! I must agree. and there are some, that after having a one night stand, they'll be together already.
@bishu_sinha (1457)
• India
18 Dec 07
I feel bad for you lady. You need to be strong and please don’t give in to any male who speaks properly. There are so many animals around with worse than animal traits. Beware!
@jillann (779)
• Philippines
10 May 07
I still believe in courtship, and if a guy likes me I would like him to court me first. But there are some cases that courtship is not anymore necessary, it may be because you and the guy are old friends. My past boyfriends were actually my friends, "barkada". I guess it really depends on the situation whether the guy should court or not.
@zer0charly (5614)
• Philippines
11 May 07
yeah in some case..it really do happens..that's why the best foundation of relationship is courtship.
@Savvynlady (3684)
• United States
11 May 07
I would have to say YES; reason being is that too much emphasis is placed on what someone can give you instead of finding out what makes them tick, just sitting and getting to know them. so yes, I would love to be courted.
1 person likes this
@msjigga (864)
• United States
10 May 07
Yes I do believe in courtship.I think it is nice. Because if a Guy is willing to make sacrafices for you than that lets you know he is really interested in you. If he is not willing to make any sacrafices or work you love than he is not the one. People alway remember what they work for. I somewhat wish Men were like they were when my Grandparents were young,because now it is like everyone is just hooking up relationships are almost like taboo.
@confusedheart (207)
• Philippines
10 May 07
i do believe in courtship too. it's one way of knowing if the guy is sincere and honest. plus you get to know each other and with this you can decide if you want each other or not. it is a way of developing a good relationship
kaila
@carlissa32 (64)
• United States
10 May 07
I believe that is the reson why many marriages and relationships are failing today, why there are so many young single parents now. Because of lack of courtship. I'm representing the younger generation and they seem to have no clue what the word courtship means nowadays. i think deep down every woman wants and needs to be courted even if they have been married for 15+ years. Everyone needs to feel special in a relationship.
1 person likes this
@zer0charly (5614)
• Philippines
11 May 07
you've got a point there..maybe those girls doesnt have the chance to know their partner..
