Deep Thoughts.

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~Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath we use, the bubbles are always white? ~Is there ever a day when mattresses are NOT on sale? ~Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator in hopes that something new has materialized? ~Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down to pick it up and examine it, only to put it back down to give their vacuum one more chance? ~How do those dead bugs end up in light fixtures? ~Considering all the lint you get in your dryer, if you kept drying your clothes, would they eventually disappear? ~Why is it, that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table, you always manage to knock something else off? ~If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? ~If swimming is such good exercise, why are whales so fat? ~If a person told you they were a pathological liar, would you believe them? ~Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons? ~If Jimmy cracks corn and nobody cares, why is there a song about it? ~Why is an alarm clock going "off" when it actually turns on? ~If the professor on Gilligan's island can make a radio out of coconuts, why can't he fix the hole on the boat? ~Why do they call it "getting your dog fixed" when afterward, it doesn't work anymore? ~How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges? ~If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole plane made out of that stuff? ~Why do banks leave both doors open, yet they chain pens to the countertops? ~Why do people order a double cheeseburger, large fries, and a DIET soda?