This Is Extremely Disturbing
By Rozie37
@Rozie37 (15499)
Turkmenistan
June 10, 2007 9:29pm CST
I was reading on CNN.com about the guy who kidnapped the eighteen year old form Target and killed her. They also said that he might be the same one that put a page up on Myspace sayin g that he, "Likes to eat small children and harm animals."
When I read this on my computer screen, I screamed and jumped back about five feet in my computer chair. Reading that was just so shocking to me. I am on Myspace all the time. I spy on my nieces and nephews all the time and I question them about what is on their pages or I tell their parents. Most of them are on my friends list.
It is very disturbing to know that there are people like that out there, but to know that they are looking at the children and having their sick thoughts makes me enraged. We can't stop the kids from getting on there, so we have to closely monitor them and think the way that they do.
My best friend has a 17 year old son and until two weeks ago, she was willing to sware that her son had no page on there. Then he got a new car from his grandmother and I said to myself, wait a minute, this kid has got everything a teen could ask for and a car and you are telling me that he is not on Myspace, please.
I went on there and did a search of a shorter version of his name, along with his last name and looked until I found him. He had some inappropriate things on there and his grandmother told him that unless he cleaned up that page she was not buying him anything else and the car would go too.
He tamed that page down so fast, I could not believe it. Parents, we can not assume that ours are not on there. I am talking 99.9% of the teens that have a computer are on there and we have to watch out for them constantly. This world that we live in is getting sicker and sicker everyday and we are forced to get stricter and stricter with the kids.
Stop trying to be their friend. It is your responsiblity to do whatever it takes to keep them alive and safe. Another thing is that we have got to start being stricter on them not going out alone. There is strength in numbers. If you can't be with them and no one can go with them, tell them no.
4 people like this
19 responses
@maddysmommy (16230)
• United States
11 Jun 07
I joined myspace and bebo.com just to keep in touch with friends and family around the world. I found my two neices (15 years of age) on there and thought to keep an eye out on them both. One of them was getting really lovey dovey with a guy and I told her parents. I think what they both wrote was inappropriate (she is 15 and he is 17) and soon enough she deleted both pages. I did further searches and found her again under another nickname. I posted on her page just to imply that I can still find her no matter what she does and there is no way i am going to leave her alone LOL She never once replied to my posts - oh well!
Your right that we have to keep our children safe and myspace is most definitely full of all sorts of people who can become very dangerous.
@maddysmommy (16230)
• United States
11 Jun 07
Oh my gosh, you kidding me, i would of freaked if my son had a picture like that on myspace. Aww that is just sad and not funny at all.
1 person likes this
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
11 Jun 07
I don't know all of my friends personally, but I know what they are all about. Some things you can not fake. And true love for the Lord is one of them. I also have a lot of my favorite gospel singers as friends, so that I can keep up with what they are doing.
I have also re-established contact with some family members that I have not seen in a long time. It is really a lot of fun on that site.
1 person likes this
@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
11 Jun 07
well, i know this world is becoming crazier and scarier by each day... that's why i think children have to be taught the right thing and build a solid foundation since they are still very young... that is, fear of God... this is very crucial and important... we, human beings are limited and we can't control and watch over our children every single second... there are times when we can't look after them like when they are outside in school, hanging out with their friends, etc... only God can watch over them non-stop... and if the child has a good foundation and fear of God, we can rest assured that they will do the right thing even when we are not with them... that's what i thought...
2 people like this
@jalbeos (1175)
• Philippines
12 Jun 07
I agree with you! If children had learned to fear God, then you don't have to worry what will happen around them. Your guidance as parents is still needed here, you only have to supply some important things needed for their spiritual growth. So, building a great foundation is very important.
1 person likes this
@freak369 (5113)
• United States
11 Jun 07
MySpace can't be held to blame for anything. It is a website. If someone posted a recipe on myLot and it didn't turn out well, would you blame them for it?
If teens and parents can't communicate then blaming that lack of communication on a website is just moronic. Parents talk "at" their kids instead of talking "with" them. That is the root of the problem.
I just don't understand when parents gave up control of things to kids. This goes beyond MySpace. You see kids demanding things and parents just give in to them. I would have been missing teeth or had sore kneecaps if I would have spouted off to either of my parents the way I have seen some act at the mall or in stores.
MySpace is just a website, there are thousands of sites like it. Parents need to step up to bat and lay down some ground rules about being on the internet ... and then stick to them!
2 people like this
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
11 Jun 07
You have obviously misunderstood me. I am not blaming Myspace at all. I did not say anything about them getting rid of Myspace. Personally, I think that it is a wonderful way to meet people. I have two Myspace accounts.
I also know someone who works for Myspace and she is a wonderful parent. I said that it is the parents responsibility to know what their children are doing and that is why I keep up with my nieces and nephews online.
1 person likes this
@dlkuku (1935)
• United States
11 Jun 07
My daughter has a myspace, and I have one too just so I can monitor her. But she doesn't hide anything, often leaving her page up and open. If she was hiding anything she wouldn't do that making it possible for me to look at it. You are right, of course, we need to be aware of our kid's online and offline activities, and really it's not my daughter I don't trust, there are a lot of sicko's out there.
2 people like this
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
11 Jun 07
The thing about it is is that although we trust our children to do right when they know what to do. You can't possibly prepare them for every situation because you never know what could happen, especially in this day and age.
Just when I think that I have heard it all, something new happens in the news that I never would have even imagined and it blows me completely away. For instance, when someone cuts a mother's stomach open and steals her baby. That is so unnerving to me that it just makes me sick.
Children are just so innocent and trusting, that we almost want to not let them leave our side at all. That is why we have to pray over them constantly. So that we know that when we are not watching, God is still protecting them.
@tdbrower1969 (1242)
• United States
11 Jun 07
I know that was not very far from where I live and it was very distressing to see the search and the final findings. It is a scary world that we live in, and yes I believe that parents should be wary of so many things, not just myspace. I think that you need to keep an eye on your teens like you did when they were toddlers. You need to know that they trust you and that you can trust them, and I am sure that it is hard, but you can't just give them free reign to do whatever they want without having control. I also get on myspace and check on my friends kids, and my neices and nephews. Some of the pages on my space that people have are just quite appalling to me, but kids these days that don't have parents watching them seem to go for the extreme. I just hope and pray that when my son hits the teen years, he remembers what we have taught him, and I also hope and pray that he knows that he can always trust us, and will always come to us for guidance. He knows that he has to work for what he wants out of life,and I hope he keeps that rule throughout his lifetime.
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
11 Jun 07
We show them that we care through discipline. Some parents may think that their children are somehow wounded when corrected. Making sure that they do the right thing sets limits and makes them feel secure.
I remember one time my nieces friend asked her if she wanted to come over her house. My niece said yes, so her friend told her to go ask her mom. My niece said, my mom don't care. It sounded so bad to me, but she was telling the truth. My sister is not strict in her discipline because of her husband wanting his children to be spoiled.
It broke my heart to hear my niece say that. If I had children, I would never ever want to give my child a reason to say that. I want to know where they are, who they are with, why they are there, and exactly when they are coming back home. This is a parent that cares.
@magica (3707)
• Bulgaria
11 Jun 07
It`s terrible story indeed. But there is allways a risk the forbidden fruit to be accepted as desired and sweet. The strict control is important, but just if there is balance between it and your friendship. To be a friend with your child doesnt mean to spoil him and to allow him everything, of course. You just must explain them again and again that the freedom and the responsibility go hand on hand.
2 people like this
@swaraj_dv (51)
• India
11 Jun 07
I too heard this many days back......These people whom we call cannibals are mentally sick and can do anything to find a prey the best thing is to have a friend circle of our own and stay away from stangers....now a days kinds are accessing the net and they are the easiest prey.... so we elders should keep an eye on our young ones regarding the stuff they are accessing on the net and the people they are meeting
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
12 Jun 07
The sad part is that these children are accepting friends on Myspace that they do not even know. My 12 year old niece has 289 friends. I know that child does not know 289 people.
If she were my child she would not even be on there and with the older ones I would sit down and go through the whole list and they would tell me who each person is and how they know them. If they could not tell me, that person would be erased.
@wachit14 (3595)
• United States
11 Jun 07
You raise a lot of points in your post about safety and I can tell you that when you are raising teenagers, then you really cannot police every single thing they do, including their exposure to Myspace. Teaching teens to be responsible to themselves and to others begins at a very early age, long before they are teenagers. Also, teenagers tend to believe that they are invincible and that nothing bad will ever happen to them. It is very difficult to change that thinking in them and as a parent of two teens, I also have learned that they must learn from their own mistakes. All we parents can do is send them out into the world hopefully prepared with lots of tools to cope, but they have to make their own decisions. By the way, forbidding a teenager to do something doesn't always work and often times backfires.
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
12 Jun 07
I totally agree with you, but the reality is, all kids have not had that kind of start and it does no good to sit around now and talk about what should have been done, we can't go back, but I feel at some point, we have to start.
Some times it is all in the way that we talk to them. For instance, when I was living with my sister and her six children at one time, the oldest one kept coming home from school early. She would say that they had a half or shortened day. She did not understand that I knew that they were having way too many of these for the school to run effectively.
So I called the school and sure enough, she had left early. I let her know that from that point on, I was going to be checking up on her. Well, of course she did not like that at all. She wrote a paper in her English class, calling me nosey.
At first my feelings were a little hurt. But then, I went to her and let her know that I was doing this because I cared for her, not because I was being nosey. I had her promise me that she would do her best to get her diploma, but she was not able to. When you have a crazy home life, school will always take a back seat.
@teapotmommommerced (10359)
• United States
11 Jun 07
I am so glad that Myspace was not around when my kids where young. My kids are now adults and I cannot control what they do now.
I do feel you need to keep control and trust no one with your children. I just spent two weeks with my nephew. He is 8 and he does not spend any time on the computer yet I know he will when he gets older. My sister will be monitoring him closly. She is such a good mom and know what is going on with her son.
I would think nothing of letting my daughter go to Target to go shopping by herself. We have all learned that no where is safe.
1 person likes this
@jalbeos (1175)
• Philippines
11 Jun 07
Thanks for sharing this. Like any other website like MySpace there is a terms and agreement upon joining and the most important there is the age. People who are under 18 are not allowed to join. I think, you already about Friendster. Almost everyone here in our place has friendster account even a 12 years old child. It is not that bad but like what you've said, there are some pages which are not good for them to see. Parents should limit their stay on the computer or monitor them.
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
12 Jun 07
I have a twelve year old niece on Myspace. The other day, I came across a posting where she said she wanted to "get high tonight." I sent her a messege right away asking her about it and she wrote back and said that she was just playing.
I did not think it was funny at all, but if I told her parents about it, they would not care.
@muleofsociety (4)
• United States
12 Jun 07
I fully agree man. Parents should watch their kids when they use the computer. They have no idea what web sites they are on, what they are looking at or even learning to do. I myself did not get a computer until I was 16 and my parents never watched me at all on it and I got into a little bit of trouble because of that haha. But We'll not go into all of that.
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
12 Jun 07
This kind of comment makes it more likely that I will not relax anytime soon. Attitudes like your is the reason that we are having so many of these kind of problems in the first place.
I feel that it is about time for the people who love these children to start speaking up and working to make a change. Relaxing time is over, it is time to take some action to insure our childrens safety.
@mdasco (81)
• Philippines
14 Jun 07
Hey rozie37,
this is a pretty good discussion you've opened up. i know it's a hard thing to monitor our kids' endeavours especially on the internet. it's hard but it's our responsibility. kids these days learn pretty quick and it's because of the technology. but it's the way of the world, we can't do anything about it.the only thing we could do as parents is that we should try to find a way to monitor our children and explain to them the possible consequences of their actions but at the same time, we should also look for ways not to make them feel that we're invading their privacy so as not to lead them to revolt against us. it's a very complicated matter and i just wanna thank you for opening this up.
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
14 Jun 07
Children are going to find a reason to revolt no matter what we do. I would not be as interested in their privacy as I would be their safety. When I lived with my sister and I had the only working computer in the house, I would monitor all six of the kids when they got online.
If I could not monitor them, they did not get on. The oldest one would go on to dating sites and say that she was sixteen, when she was only thirteen at the time. So I would limit her to one hour. We didn't fight about it, because I had it set up where the internet would shut off in an hour.
When she was finished, I would go back and look at the sites she visited and a lot of times, I would get on her case about the places she went and sometimes, I just didn't let her get on there for a while.
• United States
18 Jun 07
My mom dosent agree with me having a myspace. I think if you have a myspace and you know how to set your profile to private and only let people who know your last name/email adress add you, it will be safer...myspace I think is ABSOLUTELY NO HARM , you just have to be smart and dont put your business all out and only talk to people you know...just like when you do anything else.
1 person likes this
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
18 Jun 07
I agree with you that Myspce is fun. Like I think I mentioned, I have two accounts. I just feel that the parents need to be aware of what the children are doing online, not just on Myspace. The world can be a very dangerous place for anybody, but even more so for a child, because they are vulnerable. Stay safe.
@jmcafam (2890)
• United States
11 Jun 07
I had not heard about this guy being on myspace and having that on his page. It is just crazy how some people think. My daughter asked the other day, she is eight, if she could have a myspace. I flat out told her no and so did her dad. We told her that are crazy and bad people on there.
1 person likes this
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
12 Jun 07
My space is too mature for a lot of growups. I come across so many things on that site that make me cringe. The thing about it is that now children are more advanced than us when it comes to that filth. There was a time when kids needed I.D. to be exposed to the things that are on the internet now.
@Debs_place (10520)
• United States
13 Jun 07
You are a smart lady, keeping technically savvy so that you can keep up with the kids is a great idea. We really can't know our kids without knowing the world they live in, and it is a technical world.
My son is 21, and he did MySpace..he still does, he is in the Navy, he is always calling me for technical help.
You are right, we need to get tougher with our kids. Grandma was right too.
1 person likes this
@retardedrugrat (4791)
• Canada
11 Jun 07
This is exactly why I don't have a Myspace account. It's way too easy for someone on there to post inappropriate things and nobody gives a damn about it.
My daughter and sons are not allowed on the internet without myself or my partner being with them - as in physically sitting beside them, because it's too easy for kids to be led astray these days by perverts or someone else who preys on children to get their sick kicks.
My kids usually use the computer for help with their homework, but from time to time, my daughter will use my MSN account to talk to her grandma or Granddad in the UK too. I find the fact that she knows how to type and send messages quite frightening.
1 person likes this
