Jealousy in a Relationship!
By claire03
@claire03 (1443)
United States
September 9, 2007 5:59pm CST
Almost everyone at some time or another has experienced jealousy in a relationship, and you probably know how destructive jealousy can be. You find yourself snooping and violating someone else's privacy and torturing yourself with scenarios that are all in your mind. Jealousy almost always is a result of a person's insecurity. The more secure you feel in a relationship, the less likely you are to be jealous. What can you do to if you feel jealousy in a relationship? You can prevent jealousy from happening. Never break the trust of your partner. Set limits about the relationship and communicate those clearly to your partner. If your partner breaks your trust and violates limits you have agreed upon, that is when likely to experience jealousy. When that happens, don't ignore your feelings. They are real and need to be dealt with. Communicate your feelings to your partner in a calm and clear way. Do you have more ideas and opinions what we should do to prevent jealousy in a relationship? we'll appreciate if you'll share something to us. :)
4 people like this
17 responses
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
10 Sep 07
I used to be a terribly jealous person but I've changed my way of thinking many years ago and couldn't be more secure or happier. It took some time and doing to get where I am but I'm here and here to stay! :) The way I feel is this, if a man wants to be with me then he will but if he doesn't, he'll find someone else and be on his way. Also I don't want to be with a man who doesn't want to be with me. I respect myself too much to be with a man who doesn't want me. Sure, I'll cry and my heart will break but it'll also mend in time but I'll never ever lower myself to begging a man to stay with me for any reason. The love has to be real on both sides or it just isn't worth it because we only live once so why not be as happy as we can be. Right? :)
1 person likes this
@jackxav (660)
• Philippines
11 Sep 07
I can remember when i got jealous with my lover.Hes always telling me about girls who are in love with him,or let us say admire him or like him.He told me he is just very honest to me thats y i must know everything about him.And im so happy for it cos he is very true to me,but then i really cant avoid to be worried and feel jealousy.But i know this not good.The more hes very open to me the more our relationships grow..and im happy of it.I learn that we must have trust on our partner to make the relationships last.We must always think positive.Always have faith on each other.thank you so much and more power friend.
@Philxav (733)
• Malaysia
11 Sep 07
Dear jackxav, you should be happy because he is telling you the truth and being open to you. this is communication maybe he tells you all this to let you know.. how deeply he loves you. You got some points there right.. the more he is open to you the more your relationship will grow and no one can break you apart. You should be lucky that he is telling you all and i can see how deeply he loves you too. Have the faith, trust and show him you care as much as he does to you. God Bless You
@caelyn_79 (11)
• Philippines
13 Sep 07
Controlling your emotions and confront your fears and suspicious in a rational manner. Jealousy can affect everyone. You have to value the effort you and your partner have both put into your relationship. There maybe a chance that your assumptions maybe baseless. You wouldn't to ruin a good relationship if you let your jealousy control you
@lisa_wxy (393)
• China
13 Sep 07
well,it ia a art to get along well with your partner. especially when u are very pretty or his ia obslutely attractive.so jealousy is a normal thing to golden couples.but how to handle it is very complicated.based on trust,a little jealousy is not a big deal.i think.
@Philxav (733)
• Malaysia
11 Sep 07
Dear Claire, that is normal thing in life.. but dont take it seriously. Try to fit yourself into the situation and understand the circumstances that is the best way to do. The best solution for you to get rid of jealousy between you and your partner.. is loyality.. be loyal and be faithful and share all what you do with your lover. Make him understand why is that happen and your are free. The most important here is communications.. the more u communicate and be open to your lover the better it will be.. Once you are deeply involve in Jealousy and it will bring you in Doubt.. and later you will feel heart sick.. and it will go on.. till it breaks up... So be open and be loyal.. and trust is the key eliment here.
@gradyslady (4054)
• United States
25 Sep 07
Jealousy sucks, after two years of being with my ex, he got jealous because I have lots of guy friends, I always have so I didn't understand why three years later it became a problem, especially because he was my friend before we dated.
@flowerchilde (12529)
• United States
10 Sep 07
Well, I think if one is being a good partner, friend, whatever.. and is generous in attitude and deed, then the other will be very happy, and won't be seeking closeness with others elsewhere, so then where's the need to be jealous? If you're with someone who really is a cad.. Best to get away from them now rather than spend a lifetime of suffering and sorrow. - If someone is inordinately jealous of you, they say sometimes it's because they have a guilty conscience.. being a cheater, they expect their partner to cheat..
- Well, after all that cheerful news, I'll say "good day to ya"!:)
@jcj_111776 (3216)
• Philippines
11 Sep 07
I can only think of one thing to prevent jealousy in any relationship. COMMUNICATION. Without it, a person can entertain all sorts of negative thoughts. Jealousy is pretty ugly when it gets to plant its root in a relationship.
Before we got married, and I can honestly say this, I have never felt any jealousy. My trust in my partner was that so whole that nothing can shake it. Why? Because I never give myself the chance to entertain those sneaky and negative thoughts of what he might be doing when we're not together. And as I've said, communication between two people in a relationship is so crucial. We're that openly honest with each other that we leave it to us if we have the capacity to understand a certain situation.
We were able to talk about our past love lives and by doing this, we have laid both of our hearts in the open.
@martian014 (4)
•
10 Sep 07
This is the #1 reason of break-ups and "on the rocks"situation on relationships.
Jealousy was a threat on a relationship,especially if a couple shares love and happiness for years.Jealousy can turn precious memories and lasting affair into junk.Everything will turn into "past".
A matter of good communication and being open on each other is one of the best ways of beating jealousy.With this,both can explain their side and express what they feel.Misunderstandings & misinterpretations will be prevented.
In order to prevent too much jealousy,man ,woman or both must think that they are already committed and must not involved on any other opposite sexes anymore.Open mindedness is also needed in a relationship for it will prevent any misinterpretations regarding what they do and what they act and show on other people.
You see,jealousy is not a bomb that haunts within a relationship.As what i said,proper management and having good limitations is the key for a successful relationship.ΓΌ
@graceloky (11)
• India
10 Sep 07
yeah i agree with you completely when you said tat jealuosy stream in when either one of the person involved in the relationship breaks the trust of the other...but in my opinion our aproach to life and our individual traits in life also plays certain roles in a relationship...for instance someone who has a very pessimistic and suspicous attitude in life would always find the sligtest reason and incident cautiosly..unlike othr individuals...
@sharine_l (78)
• Philippines
10 Sep 07
I think we cant prevent jealousy is by checking ourselves. Why do we feel insecure and all. It's easy for me to say but sometimes it is hard to not feel insecure, right? specially when you see your hubby giving all his attention to his friends and less attention to you. Because when he gets home he will tell you that he is tired from work. I also want to know what can I do to lessen the feeling of being insecure.
@tholitz (1127)
• Philippines
10 Sep 07
You are very right in saying that jealousy is a result of insecurity. How can we prevent jealousy, maybe good communications between you and your partner will be a good way or start. Knowing each others feeling and what are the things that they don't wanted to see or do could somehow prevent jealousy from happening (hey I don't say we have to follow what the other wanted but just as you say it, we could set limitations or boundary to satisfy it). But I still think that the best way to prevent it is by ignoring it(this one works for me). There's a saying that if it is for you then no matter what happen, it will end up with you.
@RobinJ (2501)
• Canada
10 Sep 07
Jealousy has nothing to do with a partner, it is all in our minds when we feel insecure and immature. These traits can not be given to you nor can they be taken away, only you can give them up, and it is rather easy as all you have to do is tell yourself that you are secure and mature enough to trust your partner
@Malyck (3425)
• Australia
10 Sep 07
This is a great discussion, and I hope more people can read, contribute and learn from it. =]
I definitely think you're right in saying that insecurity breeds jealousy and it can be a vicious cycle.
All of the points that yo have mentioned to prevent or 'cure' it are excellent. My partner and I have great communication, and discuss everything, we are very open, and very trusting and loyal to one another, which definitely gives us added security.
This is extremely important, there is no way I could be happy and secure in a relationship without trust and discussion.
We have set our boundaries and discuss any discrepancies.
This, coupled with serious discussion at any violation of trust, and being happy and secure within yourself are the main factors that I think prevent jealousy and its horrible effects on what was or could have been a great relationship.
=DMal.
