My sister and her husband are mad at me...
By delladidit
@delladidit (466)
United States
October 6, 2007 6:45am CST
...I screwed up. I couldn't possibly hope to be able to explain my relationship with my new man to my sister and her hubby. They are very traditional. I know they would be angry at me for getting involved with some one I met online and my divorce is not even final yet.
...Biblically, once my ex got the paperwork, I was considered single. The courts consider us to be single. I am free to date. I did not go looking for this relationship, it just happened. I still want a year on my own with my kids before I will commit to becoming a new wife.
...My sister and her husband are hurt because I have been not forth coming with information about my man and my finances. They paid for the car I just got, I will be making payment to them for it and I put it in my man's name so it is not marital property. When my sister told me they would pay for the car, I told her I was going to put it in a friend's name.
...I know they are trying to look out for my best interests and I cannot tell them why I trust him. (He has made several investments for me, set me up in a business and bought a $9K diamond ring for me, asking only faithfulness in return. Would you trust him?)
...Do I owe them and explanation? Should I have to explain EVERYTHING to them? I do not know all of their finances.
...They do not want to meet my man now. Is this fair? It feels like they are punishing him for my actions.
...What would you do? I love my sister. It pains me to have this riff between us.
1 person likes this
8 responses
@boyfriend2k4 (398)
• Australia
6 Oct 07
Well try to explain them your bond & relationship with your boyfriend. I would ask since we can do pretty much everything online these days from online banking to shopping to buying properties then whats so bad about having a boyfriend or husband who you met online. I mean there is risk on every step of life but we still give time to see & trust others right?
@delladidit (466)
• United States
8 Oct 07
...My best friend met her husband on line in a chat room. I know it is possible to find a great match. Unfortunately, it is more likely to find someone wanting to take advantage of you.
...This can not be the case with my man. If he were going to take advantage of me, why would he spend so much money to move over 500 miles to be here, bring his youngest daughter with him, spend his money to set me up in a business, make several investments with his money in my name and take over paying some of my bills? These are not the actions of someone taking advantage of me.
...Do I have to tell my sister these things?
...Thank you for sharing. I appreciate your input. Have a great day and peace be with you. =(^;^)= Della
@shadowing (308)
• Malaysia
7 Oct 07
Hi delladidit. Well, I saw your predicament.
However, why don't you consider of putting your man's name in somewhere not too near to now? I mean, you can give your sister sometimes to "digest" and accept. I mean your man is really rich (9K diamond, wow!) s I guess he don't really mind if you didn't put his name for the car, right?
I mean, your sister is the one paying for the car for you but she is paying for another people's name, she will feel bad for sure, right?
Maybe try to reconsider your decision?
@delladidit (466)
• United States
8 Oct 07
...Truly, he could have bought several cars like the one I got with just one of his checking accounts and he has several. Yes, he has a lot of money. I just do not want him buying everything I need/want. It is important to me to be able to take care of my self and my kids. I'll let him pay my cell phone bill because we added him and his daughter to my plan. I'll let him take me out on dates.
...However, I will not let him buy me a car, pay all my bills or support me right now. I need to do this for myself. I need to show him and myself I do not want him for his money. I will pay my sister back, not my man.
...The diamond is beautiful. It was his way of saying he is committed to me and he will be there for me when I am ready. It will be about year before I will be able to wear it.
...My decision is final. It is in my best interest. I'd have put the car in my sister's name, but she did not want this. My decision is to protect what assets I have from my wasteful ex.
...Thank you for your response. Have a great day and peace be with you. =(^;^)= Della
@shadowing (308)
• Malaysia
8 Oct 07
Well, look like you have met your true love. Alright, all the best to you!
@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
7 Oct 07
well, i can only say that blood is thicker than water and i think you might want to think again about this relationship with the online man... is it worth sacrificing your siblings relationship for the sake of this man??? hope you can make a wise decision... take care...
@delladidit (466)
• United States
8 Oct 07
...Blood is thicker than water. I do not like this riff between us. However, this online man is very real now. He holds me in his arms, understands how my sister can feel the way she does and why we chose to keep our feelings low key. He feels I need to let time show her we are acting in the best interest of, mostly, my children.
...Thank you for taking the time to answer my discussion. I appreciate your opinion. Peace be with you. =(^;^)= Della
@delladidit (466)
• United States
8 Oct 07
...Thank you. It did feel like I was expected to explain my business. Not that I have anything to hide, it is just my business and they offered to pay for the car. I have not acted impulsively. Everything I have done has had a lot of thought behind it.
...Why does my private life have to be discussed? As long as I am paying the money back, does it really matter whose name is on the car?
...Thank you for your response. I appreciate it. Peace be with you. =(^;^)= Della
@azimsay (543)
• India
7 Oct 07
My birthday after ten days .I call my married sisterand er husband also .They told me do not worry we both are comming today evening ,and we will go for shopping,and by your cloths and other thing. But I wait at that evening but they were not come in time but they brought one gold neckless for me which was get mad.
@delladidit (466)
• United States
8 Oct 07
...Integrity comes from doing what you say you will do. I do not think they are worried about me paying them back. I have barrowed money from them in the past and paid it back. I think they are upset I have not told them about my man before now and that this is how they found out.
...Thank you for sharing. Peace be with you. =(^;^)= Della
@xuejie (112)
• China
7 Oct 07
I don't think meet a online guy is a ba thing.
but you must make sure you know him very munch.
and you should talk to your sister and her husband.
If you know your man is your Mr.Right, you should prove it.
your sibling juest want you happy and never get hurt again.
If they know the love between you and your man, they won't angry. Just tell the-the person worried about you.
take care!
@delladidit (466)
• United States
8 Oct 07
...How do I prove he loves me? How do I prove he is trustworthy? I have already told my sister he has made investments for me. I have already told her he moved here to be near me.
...It pains me to think that time may be the answer to this situation. They will have to see he is acting in my best interest.
...This is why we are taking things slowly for our children. They need to see we are truly in love with each other and are good for each other.
...In time, I think things will work out. I just really feel bad for upsetting them. It was not my intention to do so.
...Thanks, girlfriend! Peace be with you. =(^;^)= Della
@cutepenguin (6431)
• Canada
7 Oct 07
Why not put the car in your sister's name instead? I think if they are paying for a car, they at least deserve an explanation of what is happening to the car.
I think your sister is worried because she might think you are in too vulnerable a state to be going into a new relationship. While obviously you cannot control the timing of this relationship, it does seem rather fast and she must be worried about you and your kids.
@delladidit (466)
• United States
8 Oct 07
...They did not want the car in their name. The money they spent is a loan to me. I will repay it. When one of the investments pays out, I will pay it off completely. Right now, I am paying $100/month.
...They are worried about us. I simply do not know how to put their mind at ease. I think time will show them my man is not going to take advantage of me. He truly wants to take care of me and my kids. He is everything my ex isn't. He is everything they would want for me. I have no proof to offer.
...Do I allow time to show them or do I try to tell them I am doing what I feel is right?
...Thank you for sharing with me. I see the wisdom in your words. Peace be with you. =(^;^)= Della
@crazed_moma (1054)
• United States
6 Oct 07
It sounds like she's just concerned. Maybe she's afraid it may be a re-bound relationship? Just be honest with your sister. You don't need to tell her any more than you want to though.
How long have you known this guy? Maybe they're concerned he's going to take your car and run?
@delladidit (466)
• United States
8 Oct 07
...They are concerned. They just didn't like finding out about my man the way they did. I still do not know what to tell them that will make them see he is not out to take my car or take advantage of me. I think time will be the answer for them.
...We are keeping our relationship very low keyed for several reasons. Mostly, because my divorce is not final yet and for our kids. We know how fast things worked. We are still taking baby steps with each other. Neither of us wants a rebound relationship. We want to keep it low keyed so our kids get used to us. His kids will have to accept me and mine will have to accept him. We want to give them time and in doing this, we get time together to grow fonder.
...We really want this to be a win-win-win situation. We want our kids to be happy with us. We want our families to be happy with and for us. And we want to be sure in our relationship.
...Thank you for taking the time to asnwer my discussion. I appreciate your input. Peace be with you. =(^;^)= Della
