Visiting Kayla went well
By Valerie
@valerie37 (1002)
Christiansburg, Virginia
February 15, 2008 3:30pm CST
I have to say after finally getting to visit Kayla at the training center yesterday evening I am feeling somewhat more at ease.
I'm still missing her, but seeing for myself the progress that she is making instead of just hearing it from someone on the phone I know that missing her is a small price for me to pay since I know that this is helping her. And also knowing that this placement may not be long term, but instead depends on the progress she makes and how much progress and how quickly. Well after seeing her I know that she is determined enough and I have already been told by the nurses and ones working with her up there that she has potential so I am pretty certain it probably won't be long term. It might be longer than what I as a mother would want, probably quite a few years, but I am certain that she is determined enough to make progress that she will sometime come home for good, not just overnight visits or holidays(which we can do when she is starting to get a little more adjusted up there)
15 people like this
37 responses
@mummymo (23706)
•
17 Feb 08
Valerie I am so glad that your visit seemed to reassure you and helped you on the path to being at peace with Kayla being on the center! I know you will be missing her terribly but it really seems as though she is adapting well to the center and making good progress! I can only imagine how upsetting it was to leave her when it came time to go home but I pray and am certain that with each visit it will get a little easier.
Thank you for the update and please keep letting us know how things are going! Hugs xxx
2 people like this
@valerie37 (1002)
• Christiansburg, Virginia
17 Feb 08
Thanks. And I will definitely be letting you all know.
@valerie37 (1002)
• Christiansburg, Virginia
17 Feb 08
Thanks. All the encouragement helps me feel better too.
@valerie37 (1002)
• Christiansburg, Virginia
16 Feb 08
Thanks. I just know no matter how soon it probably won't be soon enough for me.
@musicman6 (2406)
• United States
16 Feb 08
Well I hope Kayla does well at the center, and I hope everything goes well with you also Valerie!
You are to be admired for your strength in trying times like these, but I know in my heart that God will take care of you and your daughter!
I know how you feel, one of my daughters has a son that is handicapped and she goes through tough times like these, and I've heard it said that God chooses us to be the ones that takes care of these special children, because he knows that you are special and strong!
1 person likes this
@musicman6 (2406)
• United States
16 Feb 08
Oh yes, this is true, I don't let my daughter carry all the burden by herself, I'm there standing right beside her all the way!
1 person likes this
@valerie37 (1002)
• Christiansburg, Virginia
16 Feb 08
That's good. And trust me I can tell you from experience that even though she's not always able to let you know that she appreciates it more than you know.
@valerie37 (1002)
• Christiansburg, Virginia
16 Feb 08
Thank you. This helps. But then also you said that one of your daughters has a son who is handicapped. If you're like my parents then I know you probably help your daughter out with her son as much as you can. You know what that means. It means you're special too, because I feel that when God chooses us to take care of these special children it's not just the parents he's choosing but grandparents and aunts and uncles as they all tend to be a support system and even help at times when needed.
1 person likes this
@alamode (3071)
• United States
17 Feb 08
You're doing a wonderful thing... thinking about her and her life, instead of worrying about what people think. This is the surest act of love I've seen in a long time. I admire you... you are a strong and loving person. All will be well.
1 person likes this
@valerie37 (1002)
• Christiansburg, Virginia
17 Feb 08
I just wish I felt as strong as everyone keeps telling me I am.
1 person likes this
@alamode (3071)
• United States
17 Feb 08
I know that feeling... I've been through some bad stuff over the years, and I hear that I'm strong and brave... but what else could I do but what I had to do? Its not like I could quit... I have a husband, kids, grandkids... my life would have been over. But sometimes people do the wrong thing for the wrong reason, and thats not me, and thats not you. Whether its uncomfortable, or downright gut-wrenching, it needs to be done for the sake of something larger than us.
@dorcam (320)
• Malta
18 Feb 08
The nurses know what they are doing, I know that as a parent you would want to take care of her, but this doesn't mean that you don't love her, some times you need some rest too, and let the others do their job. Kayla will make progress, I am sure of it, although I do not know her. Your job is that when you visit her, you tell her that she's a good girl, and that she is making progress to be better. Don't ever tell her that you miss her, because I think she would feel down, just tell her that you love her, and that you want her best, and she will make courage, and be more determined to move on.
@valerie37 (1002)
• Christiansburg, Virginia
18 Feb 08
I am trying now to do all of that. WhenI tell her how proud I am of her you can see how happy it makes her,
@dorcam (320)
• Malta
18 Feb 08
yeah I know, I often go and visit people that have several kind of things, like being in a wheelchair paralised, blind people, and more and I always tell them this. Sometimes they tell me that no one in there family comes to visit, and I see how much they hurt, even when they speak about it, but I listen to them and they tell me that they love me and my singing. But the most important for me is to keep them happy. I go once a week, take some food and drinks with me and organize a party for them. So my point is give her the courage she needs, and the love, because I know that it is hard for her that she just left home.
1 person likes this
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
17 Feb 08
I am so glad that it went well. It sounds as if she is already making large strides. It is probably a bigger adjustment for you than what it is for her. I know that I would be lost without my son here. You will be so proud of her when you find out how hard she is working to become independent and when she comes home and doesn't need your help. Spend as much time with your other daughter as she will let you. You will probably find out she eats it up. I have been thinking of you so much lately. Take care of you for a change.
1 person likes this
@valerie37 (1002)
• Christiansburg, Virginia
18 Feb 08
Thanks. She is adjusting great. If you will send me a PM with your e-mail address I will send you two video clips I made today Sun. 2-17 when I went to visit again. They are of her feeding herself.
@valerie37 (1002)
• Christiansburg, Virginia
17 Feb 08
Thanks. I'm sure she will. Not as soon as I'd like I'm sure, but I'm sure she will.
@valerie37 (1002)
• Christiansburg, Virginia
18 Feb 08
After a second visit today, I am sure she is gonna continue to do well.
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
16 Feb 08
When someone has a disability, their parents do not know how they can progress and the doctor may have been wrong in saying that she would be lucky to go above a two year level. Doctors do make mistakes and the people at the nursing center may get her to be at a three or even a higher intellectual level. You just have to have faith and trust in the doctors and the nurses there. If one does not have professional training, one does not know what methods to use. So I would expect that Kayla's progress may surpass your expectations and you should be glad for that. I am glad you had a nice visit.
1 person likes this
@valerie37 (1002)
• Christiansburg, Virginia
17 Feb 08
I've been told now since she's been up there that she really has potential. So I am definitely keeping faith in her progressing well.
@jillmalitz (5131)
• United States
18 Feb 08
Sometimes the hardest thing we have to do is to admit that we cant do something or cant control something. That includes our family. I am glad that you are seeing improvement. That has got to make you feel better. Sometimes we are too close to a situation. I hope you will see continued improvement. Stay positive! Think good thoughts.
1 person likes this
@valerie37 (1002)
• Christiansburg, Virginia
18 Feb 08
Yes. It does make me feel better seeing her progress.
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
16 Feb 08
I am so happy that you were able to see your baby and that she is doing fine and making progress. It is also good that she is making an adjustment to her new surroundings. I know that you are happy to be able to bring her home sometimes. The time will fly by, just keep your mind occupied with positive thoughts and prayer.
@valerie37 (1002)
• Christiansburg, Virginia
16 Feb 08
I enjoyed the visit I had with her yesterday. I was happy to see her, and her face lit up when she saw us.
1 person likes this
@skinnychick (6905)
• United States
16 Feb 08
Sounds like she's getting along amazing. Bless you both and just remember that with each passing day she evolves more and more. Then you are one step closer to that home coming..I'm glad to hear she's doing well and adjusting.
1 person likes this
@valerie37 (1002)
• Christiansburg, Virginia
17 Feb 08
Thanks. And that's exactly what I'm trying to remember.
@Debs_place (10520)
• United States
16 Feb 08
That is awesome, I am so glad she is making progress. She will be home for visits before you know it. It is up to you to make sure she does not regress (that is common) when she does come home.
But please, remember, and I know it is hard, that someday you may not be able to care for her and that the younger she is the easier it is for her to adjust to a knew environment.
1 person likes this
@valerie37 (1002)
• Christiansburg, Virginia
17 Feb 08
I already plan on when she comes home for visits trying to keep as close to any routines that they may have her in at the training center.
@kimbers867 (2539)
• United States
16 Feb 08
That is such great news!!! I know as a mom this must be hard, but hang in there!!! It sounds like this is just what she needed.
1 person likes this
@valerie37 (1002)
• Christiansburg, Virginia
17 Feb 08
It is exactly what she needed. I can see that now.
@pergammano (7682)
• Canada
16 Feb 08
Wow....what a wonderful unselfish person you are! Bless you for you vision of "quality of life" for your beloved Kayla, and not being selfish for your-self. Congratulations on the wonderful progress you and she are making.
1 person likes this
@valerie37 (1002)
• Christiansburg, Virginia
17 Feb 08
Thanks. And I will keep you all updated on all the progress she makes.
@valerie37 (1002)
• Christiansburg, Virginia
17 Feb 08
Thanks. And I'll probably be sharing lots more with you all each time I visit.
@LouRhi (1502)
• Australia
16 Feb 08
It was wonderful to read that things are progressing nicely for you and your family. No mother wants her children away from them but sometimes it is for the best.
I wish you well for the future.
Remember that as long as we have hope we can't be hopeless
@valerie37 (1002)
• Christiansburg, Virginia
16 Feb 08
Thanks. I'm gonna keep trying to remember that.
@jpso138 (7851)
• Philippines
16 Feb 08
Thats quite a good news and a very good development. I'm sure you have made the right decision when you put her in that program. What is important is that she gets all the support that she needs. Well, you will never know it but in due time she will be in your loving arms and in the comfort of your home. Congratulations and best to you and Kayla.
1 person likes this
@valerie37 (1002)
• Christiansburg, Virginia
17 Feb 08
Thanks. And yes, I believe that she will too.
