A Change
By joshua_w
@joshua_w (501)
Malaysia
June 26, 2008 4:37am CST
Had a friend whom i had known for a very long time now. We're the best of friends but we haven't spoken in a long time now. He is still not married yet. We "chat" using skype but now, somehow i feel that i had lost touch with him already.
We're both different people, i think. His thoughts are different. We used to be different in the past but we still had topics to discuss. Now i find that we had nothing much to say to each other, especially now using that Skype program. Technology could not save a fading friendship i guess. Especially a good friendship.
Maybe it's his work that's killing him. He used to say he want to quit his current job so many times. Yet. Nothing's change. People want to change but still, they stay the same. The world is changing every day. Life is becoming more complex each passing day. Most can't keep up.Even I feel i can't keep up sometimes.
Values keep changing. Could what was considerd noble yesterday become 'obsolete" in time? Used to think that there are certain values that never changes because they're what make us human. I don't really know nowadays.
Everyone is for him/her-self these days. The country i lived in; people do not know trust their neighbours or friends anymore. Damn, we don't even talk to our neighbours! At times, think the future generations will have a tough life here if things remain the same.
I don't even know what i'm trying to say here. I feel so tired with work too. With the daily grind. Wish i could go faraway and be in someone else's shoes even if for just a day.Wouldn't that be good?
Is change a good thing then? Like the words to a song: "a change will do you good". Does it?
1 person likes this
6 responses
@drannhh (15219)
• United States
27 Jun 08
With all respect to your friend, it sounds a bit like you have grown and he has not. It is a sad fact that some people just get in a rut and stay there. That is one of the reasons for so many divorces in my country. There are many opportunities for people to grow whether through almost free education or hobbies or whatever, and many couples start out the same, but then one partner grows and the other stays the same.
I have never lived in a time when anyone I knew trusted their neighbors, but we used to look after each other anyway, just out of civility, and we at least knew our neighbors. Sometimes the neighbors might has seemed too nosey. But if your house was being robbed they would call the police. But really that was not necessary because it they saw someone in the neighborhood who didn't belong they would walk up to them and ask them their business. That sort of discouraged break ins. Not so much any more. Well, hubby and I do get away for more than a day because we live one place in the summer and another in the winter, and travel back and forth every year and it is safe to do so because our communities are gated.
That gives needed change and safety both. We are always reading and studying something and have many interests. That helps too. Hang in there. You will get a wonderful holiday soon I hope.
1 person likes this
@joshua_w (501)
• Malaysia
27 Jun 08
Strange that you would say this, but i had the exact same feeling. He's not exactly in a "rut" but he's just not happy with his work. Marriage does change a person, for better or worse.
Divorce is still a fascinating subject for so many. Read quite a few articles on it even, by researchers and social scientists. But i think marriage is a more interesting topic for discussion anytime. People have lost the respect for marriage as an institution. They say "i do" but never really meant it.
But your arguments that "one partner may grow while the other stays the same" could happen to any of us, no? Do couples separate were this to happen? I hope not.
I could remember the times when neighbours do look after each other but to most of us, those days are long gone.
From all your postings, i have a picture in my mind that you and your husband are a very loving couple. Please tell me this is true.
As for the holidays, thanks for the kind words. I hope so too, ha ha. Cheers.
1 person likes this
@joshua_w (501)
• Malaysia
16 Aug 08
"Star-crossed lovers"- that's a term i haven't heard in a long time. It's rare to hear of couples who are faithful and been together for a long time.
"Firmament" is also a word rarely heard of. A quick check shows the meaning to be 'a name for the sky or the heavens', so your marriage is blessed by the heavens, i would say.
@drannhh (15219)
• United States
15 Aug 08
Thanks for the BR. I had not noticed your reply before--we must have been on holiday. Yes, hubby and I are very affectionate with one another. We are what the old writers used to call "star-crossed lovers" cemented together by the firmament.
1 person likes this
@faith210 (11224)
• Philippines
9 Jul 08
Hi joshua_w! All of us need some change once in awhile so as not be burn out from our everyday activities. I, too sometime wish I am in a different situation, different life, different world. I guess, I am trying to escape from my life even for a day or a few minutes. It is only natural to wish to be a different person if one thinks that it will be good to just leave all the problems, trials or whatever is making us feel so stressed, anxious or bored in each day. I guess, we all need space and a breather so as to be sane for the rest of our lives.
Take care and God Bless!
1 person likes this
@joshua_w (501)
• Malaysia
12 Jul 08
Hi Faith, wouldn't you know that everyone would like to 'escape' from their lives even for one day.
Guessed everyday life are stressful to our body and soul sometimes. Hmm, staying sane is a hard thing to do these days, don't you think?
You take care too, ya.
@alokn99 (5717)
• India
26 Jun 08
Yes a change will do good to get away from te daily grind. It will help in taking's one mind of these issues. But the situation at the end is not goig to change . There is a good possibility that you come back to this world and find things the same.
Technolgy according to me does not do what being close and within physical reach of person does. There are so many things you fill find much more meaningful in saying to people when you are say an arm's length away.
1 person likes this
@joshua_w (501)
• Malaysia
27 Jun 08
Actually, there is so much that needed to change not only in myself but situations here where i lived, which i would rather not discuss here.
If what you said about "situation at the end is not going to change" is true, then i could not imagine life getting any better for the future generations.
@monaliu (344)
•
27 Jun 08
I worked in company as arranged by others before.Did the same things everyday.But I am a active girl. As you said, I think I need a change.I also wish a change will do I good.
I work as a sales in another company right now.I want to insist on working here at least half a year!
good luck to both of us!
1 person likes this
@powerbrokenape (399)
• United States
26 Jun 08
i too have lost the some of the connections that i had when talking to friends in the past. people change, and even when you've been the best of friends before, the time that you haven't seen the person can build up so much that when you seen the person again they seem like a stranger.
Try bringing up new interests that you have when talking to your friend, if your friend doesn't find what you're talking about to be a thing that they like, then talk about something else. If they don't show any signs of wanting to talk to you about the things that you like, then maybe this person isn't a similar enough person to you.
1 person likes this
@joshua_w (501)
• Malaysia
27 Jun 08
People do change as they grow older (and hopefully wiser). I'm a liberal person. If someone do not want to talk about things i liked, i tend to steer the conversation to topics which they like to talk about.
And if i find someone who shares my interest, then that would be lucky. And bliss, ha-ha.
