Advise needed urgently !
@thesongwriter (143)
Saint Vincent And The Grenadines
September 13, 2008 8:08am CST
This is something that i know happen over and over and so i would like to hear you opinion. There are persons who was molested at an early age by family members or they were rape at some point during their life. Is it important for person to tell their significant others before they get married to them? If you were the other partner would you want to know?
I've heard person say that after dealing with it (rape/molestation) they don't like bringing up the matter but is it important for the other person to know. Also if a friend tell you that at an early age they were molested by their brother or sister but they never told anyone but now they are going to get married they want to know if they should tell their significant other what would you tell them.
1 person likes this
4 responses
@arnoldream (1332)
• Philippines
13 Sep 08
this is a complicated situation, but you are right and it's worthy of discussion. maybe the best way for you or for the girl, with such horrible experience, must tell the other guy to whom she will be getting married, otherwise this could lead to a more serious case if the other guy found it out later after wedding. not only she will find it hard more to tell the things that happen, but to explain more why things were not brought first to him before and this will lead into a more serious and complicated problem if the other guy will not in anyway be as open to understanding, which can lead to a separation or divorce if things get worse. tell him at once before getting married if he loves you he will be appreciate your honest honesty to him, and i believe though he will be hurt by the truth, his love for you will be the one that will overcome the pain of the truth of your yesterday
@thesongwriter (143)
• Saint Vincent And The Grenadines
13 Sep 08
she has never discuss it with anyone,she told me because we are close and she trust me. apparently she wants to go into the marriage with no secret to hide.According to her the person who did it has never apologize but she has forgive and move on.
@thesongwriter (143)
• Saint Vincent And The Grenadines
13 Sep 08
I'm gonna let her read this and then decide for herself what to do cause i don't know what to tell her.
and no it's not me, i don't even have a boyfriend much less to be engage
@Sir_bobby88 (8231)
• Singapore
14 Sep 08
Well i think we should be honest to the other party yea after all we swear that we will look after each other no matter what happend for our life during our marriage . It is better to say it out than being found out .
@StrawberryKisses (2833)
• Canada
14 Sep 08
I think that yes they should tell their S/O because if it comes out at a later date the partner may feel like that cannot trust their spouse to tell them everything. AND if this person has never told anyone they need to because what if their brother or sister has a child and decides to do the same to them??? would the friend want that on their head for the rest of their life? Knowing that this person did it to them and that they could have stopped it from happening again could tear a person apart.
@AmbiePam (86257)
• United States
13 Sep 08
I think they should tell their signigicant other. Knowing what has happened to that person will streghthen the relationship, and might give answers to potential problems down the line. People aren't the same after being molested, and by some accident perhaps the significant other does something or says something that reminds them of that hurt. It is better for them to know so they can be there for their loved one. No secrets. But then again I've never been through that, so I cannot say how I would feel myself. I'm just giving you my gut feeling.
