Kids: For every action there is an opposite and equal reaction.

I think it is just human nature, we are never really satisfied with what we have, the old the grass looks greener thing, I think humans are probably the most complicated animals of all, it is impossible to read humans like you can a cat or a dog, humans are so complicated, I guess when you think about it, sometimes it is not until we lose someone we discover what we had and what we should have been happy with.

Oh boy. How old are you? I think there are a lot of problems between parents and children, no matter what. Each person brings their own baggage to a relationship, and even adults carry issues to adulthood that do not bear well on new relationships. Only children tend to be more overprotected, as well as oldest out of several. I have experience with this, I was the first and also the oldest, and I was an 'only' for over seven years. I often refer to myself as the 'guinea pig'. It is hard to find that happy medium where both parties will flourish. I say this because it is totally dependent on the personalities of both. I have three kids, one is grown (19) and doesn't live here any more, one is 17, and one is almost 5. They are very different as far as personality, so therefore they have different needs. Age also determines certain needs, younger kids take more physical nurturing, older kids take more emotional support and nurturing. As kids grow up, your responsibilities shift - from teaching them how to do things and make decisions toward helping them find themselves. Me, myself - I am big on independence. I foster my young daughter's sense of independence, helping her learn things or letting her explore. When she knows how to do something, then I prefer that she does it herself. I think it is a big disservice to kids for parents to do EVERYTHING for them, to expect nothing of them, to teach them no life skills. The best way to learn about things is within a secure framework with a safety net - ie mom teaches you how to grocery shop, cook. Then you get to make your mistakes in a situation where someone better than you can help you correct your mistakes lol. Same deal with something like laundry or mopping, if you learn how to do it when you are still around someone who can do it well and show you, then you know how to do it by the time the responsibility falls to just you. I think you need to sit down and talk with them about this problem. Explain to them that you will never be able to prove yourself to them if they don't alter their behavior. I have seen how removing all responsibility from a kid is BAD. I went to high school with a girl who enjoyed a very comfortable life. Not only did she get practically everything she wanted and needed, she also knew her college education was paid for. Her parents bought her a car. She worked part time for her family business without having to apply, be interviewed, or worry about being fired. She went away for college. Well.. in the first year living on her own, she had trouble with her car, trouble with finances, trouble with daily life from studying, laundry, work study, you name it. Her parents DID continue to bail her out but it didn't teach her a damn thing. There comes a point in time when you need to make sure you impart skills to your kids to make it on their own, then you gotta let go and watch them skate. When they fall, support them in getting back up, but don't run out there and carry them off the ice and run off with their skates! See what I'm saying here? Some kids are by nature very independent. They don't NEED suffocation. Some kids are by nature very needy. They feel abandoned and neglected if someone is not up in their business. I guess the important part is that a parent knows them well enough to realize which way they tend toward, and they talk about the best way to relate to each other so both can have a good relationship.

Are you an only child, Sheepie? We have four children, and the three girls are now grown up and left home - but our son is still here (he's just turned 21), and he complains about the same thing you do. He's always been babied a bit, because his sisters were always fussing over him when he was little - and if his father or I told him off, the girls would always stick up for him and say it wasn't his fault. I have to tell myself he's an adult now and doesn't need me fussing over every little thing - but it's hard when he's still under our roof. Of course I worry if he comes home late (or not at all) - and especially if he's out in his car and I hear sirens. Parents can't help it, I'm afraid ... and I'm guessing when you're a parent you'll do it, too!

just be patient when you find that your parents are like a hurdle for your tasks and talk to them in such a way that your words doesnt hurt them. make them clear that you are not still a kid and you can handle things on your own. dont worry you will get your problem solved

hi sheepie what you said was write i personally saw my friend suffering from the same problem. you know you are very lucky when compaared to her you know why ?Because my friend even after getting married her mother selects the dresses that she has to wear and insists her to do as she says.my friwnd she does the same to make her mother happy. dont feel uncomfortable you are just a baby only to your parents and not to the society let your parents care for you, you can grow up outside your home by learning from the society.

well yes,You are absolutely right it not only you a lot of kids have the same issue, however you can prove to your parents that you can do something by doing certain task and and try to step up if your mom or dad has to do anything just simply step up for it and do the task and prove them you can do something you are not 2 year kid anymore

Hi Sheepie, Aren't you a luky one, i wish I had someone to do things for me as I have to do everything for my husband and he won't anything for me. You should make the most of and let them baby you as that is what you are to them, they love you very much and soon you will be all grown up and they won't be able to do that for you anymore, give them a chance. Tamara

Yes, that's true. Even though I'm not a parent myself, yet, I do have some experience in terms of self-developing other people and motivating other people. I think the same principles do apply for both areas. To me, the best form of parenting is to develop a very strong friendship, this will be the best in terms of the long-term bond between family members. The parents must learn to scold their children the rational way, when their children do something wrong. They must scold their children with the intent that they want the child to learn from it, not just for the sake of releasing their anger. All decisions made by parents in terms of developing their children must be rational, not emotional. As the children grows up and their capabilities expand, the parents must get them involved in everything that they do. Things like getting the children to do cooking with the parents together, do the house chores, together plan their shopping or outings, and etc. Parents must work together with the children as a team, and get them involved in what the parents do. Parents must not try to do everything, and distribute the tasks smartly, so that the children will learn from it. This will be good for the parents also as in the future, burden on the parents will decrease because they have children who helps them. This same rule applies to any organization and business out there. By distributing tasks, a team becomes more productive. This is something that's rarely practiced in the society today. Most people think that it's parents that should manage the family, and the children just live based on the parents' management. No, it should be a team effort. It should be a group of family members, working together, to live harmoniously in a house. Of course, the involvement of a particular family member, must also take into consideration the age of the child. A baby can't do cooking for you. So the involvement must be in parallel with the child's capabilities. Just slowly get them to help with things that they are capable with, and slowly get them to get involved in more difficult things. As for your situation, I think the problem here is, you didn't communicate with them. They try to be nice to you, and you don't like it, but you don't tell them that, and you become angry at them for being nice. This doesn't solve anything. Their contribution to you as parents has always been so big, you must appreciate it. So what do you need to do is, talk to them, sit down with them, seriously and rationally say that you don't agree with the way that they are treating you, so that they know. And then suggest a better method. That way, you can change the situation, whilst maintaining good relationship with your parents. It's a win-win situation. You need to do your part in communicating with them, to solve your problem. You can't just wait for them to change, you must initiate that change, for yourself.

It's kind of true. Because my mom is way too protective of me, but she says it's because she's a realist and today's society is so crazy. Showing kids too much attention can mess the kids up mentally too. Sometimes it makes the kids whiny and timid and they don't really mature mentally. I know this one guy, he's not mentally challenged, but his mom crowded and smothered him so much until he almost acts like a little kid. I met him in the 3rd grade and he hasn't matured at all. He still talks like a baby and behaves like a small child. Parents kind of have to ease off. I'm not saying kick the kids out into the streets once they reach a certain age, but there comes a time when you have to step aside and let them live a little.