I am angry at one of my colleagues...
By gr8life
@gr8life (6251)
Malaysia
May 28, 2009 9:49pm CST
Yes, you heard it right! I like to collect paper bags and gift boxes. As I work for a Japanese company, I can get the pretty and nice gift boxes easily as Japanese people love to put almost everything in a nice box when they want to give us something as a souvenir. So, a day ago my new boss cleaned up his place and he wanted to throw a gift box which looks very nice to me. I asked him whether I could take the box and he gave it to me. A friend of mine who saw me taking the box, said something that made me feel irritated. She told me that I love to keep all kind of rubbish! I told her it is a gift box and not rubbish. Not long after, she came to my place and asked me where did I put the box and I told her straight forward, "People won't look twice at something that they called rubbish!"
3 people like this
12 responses
@mocha_momo (212)
• United States
29 May 09
In her defense I don't think she was making the comment to be rude. Your boss was already going to throw it out, so inadvertently without making the same comment your co-worker did, he thought it was trash to, if that's where he was headed with it. So because he didn't verbally say it, you won't take the same attitude with him? I think that's kind of rude. And as it was said one's mans trash is anothers treasure, to your co-worker, yes it was rubbish/trash, to you a treasure. It was an opinion, it doesn't make them wrong.
1 person likes this
@gr8life (6251)
• Malaysia
29 May 09
Hello mocha_momo,
Thanks for taking time reading my discussion. I do appreciate your responses. Well, I felt angry at her but she is still a colleague of mine and I won't prolong the incident. It happened many times with her but I won't say that she is a bad person. Human beings are like that. Sometimes they are good, sometimes they are bad and they just don't realize that. I just hope that she will be more sensible as we have known each other for almost a decade.
@gr8life (6251)
• Malaysia
29 May 09
Hello mocha_momo,
Thanks for your opinion. My new boss just arrived like a month ago and when he saw all the stuff left by the previous boss, he decided to throw all of them. I saw him putting aside the box with the other stuff so I asked him to give it to me. He was asking me why I didn't tell earlier cause he threw a few, few days before and told me that he will pass all the gift boxes to me when he gets them next time. That was when my friend interrupted, joined the conversation and asked me again where did I put the box.
@mocha_momo (212)
• United States
29 May 09
Yeah so your friend interrupted that's prolly the rudest thing they did, however by interrupting they only reinterated what your boss's first inital reaction was, that is was rubbish to them. Sure they were prolly only trying to make a smart comment, but the only sensible person here was your boss who in realizing that what he saw as trash, you'd found an appreciation for, and he in return had an appreciation for that.
1 person likes this
@checapricorn (16061)
• United States
29 May 09
Hi gr8life,
I will be angry too if I have people telling me that and afterwards, turned out to be interested on it!
I hope she will learn to be tactful next time!
1 person likes this
@gr8life (6251)
• Malaysia
29 May 09
Hello checapricorn,
I felt insulted and that made me angry at her. Even if she doesn't like that, she is not supposed to say something like this. I never said rude words to her when she talked non-stop about her American Idol while I, myself is not a fan of the show at all. Or should I tell her, "Only stupid people like Adam Lambert!" Hah! That is considered rude then, right?
@mocha_momo (212)
• United States
29 May 09
I think you have a rather childish mindset. No you didn't act rudely towards her, but still the thought apparently crossed your mind.
1 person likes this
@gr8life (6251)
• Malaysia
29 May 09
Hello mocha_momo,
I was responding to checapricorn and no, it didn't cross my mind when my said colleague and I were talking about the topic. She is 10 years older than me and this is not the first time, she tried to act cool in front of me and others. She can tell me anything, whether I like it or not, I still give my opinion but I never insulted her, directly or indirectly. If she said I am an emotional person, how about her who turned more emotional than me when the same thing happened to her?
@aseretdd (13730)
• Philippines
29 May 09
That is very rude of her... to say such a thing without even thinking that it might hurt your feelings... or even feel insulted about it... and i think it is very smart of you to say that to her face... that will make her think twice before she opens her mouth...
I guess she hasn't heard of the saying "One's trash is someone else's treasure"... it would be such a waste to throw away something very nice... so it is good of you to take it from your boss...
@gr8life (6251)
• Malaysia
29 May 09
Hello aseretdd,
She is the same person who knows everything-in-this-world-and-the-universe whom I talked about in one of my old discussions before. Seems like she still likes to act cool. Alright, I don't bother about her being cool or what but the way she spoke to me, I consider that as an insult. I am not collecting rubbish and who cares if I like to. I don't ask those rubbish from her though...
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
12 Aug 09
she sounds like my sons gf. the more something cost the better it is she thinks. nothing is good for her unless it costs a lot even if it is beautiful to everyone else. she thinks that all my stuff is trash and i should get rid of it even if its very old and antique which i love to have but am having to hide, sell, or just throw away
@gr8life (6251)
• Malaysia
13 Aug 09
Hello bunnybon7,
Aha... I think I get used to her attitude. Recently, I saw a box and talked to her about having it for my stationery and she brushed off my idea as usual with her statement, " WTH are you going to do with that...blah,blah,blah...." 
A few days after that, she told my another colleague and I that she intends to take the box and put her stationery! Well, I really get used to it by now!
A few days after that, she told my another colleague and I that she intends to take the box and put her stationery! Well, I really get used to it by now!@gr8life (6251)
• Malaysia
29 May 09
Hello mr_smile,
I understand if some think that my act sounds a bit childish or I shouldn't do that to her. I was angry at her and you know,when you're angry, you don't really care what you say sometimes. I don't want to prolong the incident and make it a big issue between us and that's why I started this discussion. Maybe just want to rant. She is always like that but it doesn't mean that she is a bad person.
@gr8life (6251)
• Malaysia
29 May 09
Hello agv0419,
This kind of people don't realize that we are almost 'suffocated' with their acts. I have known her for almost a decade and recently she was transferred to my department. I try not to be really close to her as I know I can't accept some of her acts.
@SM5550 (116)
• India
29 May 09
I do really understand your feelings, but remember what looks good to you may not necessarily look good to your friend and vice a versa.
you need to keep your cool and explain your colleague the reason you collected those boxes.
I am not quite sure if you have heard of 'Gandhigiri' - tell her that she was right when she told you that you collected rubbish and that you did it to sell and earn some extra income... or something like that.
she will herself feel ashamed of what she had told you and will never ever behave in that way again
@gr8life (6251)
• Malaysia
20 Jul 09
Hello SM5550,
Thank you for your advice. Sometimes, she really acts differently and can make me really angry with her attitude. Maybe I should try the way you advised me to do here and see what happens next. I don't like to make small matter looks like a big problem especially when we are working in the same department. But as ordinary human being, at times I just can't control my anger.
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
29 May 09
Perhaps she was just jealous that you asked for that box first. You know how envious people get, and when they do, they try to badmouth or to discourage you to do something, in your case taking the gift box, only to want that something for themselves.
I'm just curious, what did she say when you remarked her that way?
1 person likes this
@gr8life (6251)
• Malaysia
29 May 09
Hello laydee,
I was talking to my boss about my hobby that my friend thinks like collecting rubbish, and she joined us. She asked to have a look at the gift box again as she wanted to know what's the content. When I made that remarks, she just laughed it off and considered that as a joke from me!
1 person likes this
@modstar (9605)
• Philippines
29 May 09
Well at least you got even! lol! I think it's just her way of telling you that you won't need it so she can take it. Anything that you like and interested in is not rubbish at least for you of course. But her telling you that it is is just uncalled for. Just doesn't make sense. You're a collector and all the more you have the reason to take it. Well some people are just less appreciative so i guess you just have to move on then forget about the incident.
@gr8life (6251)
• Malaysia
29 May 09
Hello modstar,
I won't prolong the incident. She is still a friend to me, just that I wonder why she needs to act like that. She knows me for almost a decade and she should know what I like and what I don't. I am not saying she is a bad person. At times, she can be a good friend too. Thanks for your response.
@amybrezik (2118)
• United States
29 May 09
Just remember, one person's trash is another person's treasure. If you like gift boxes, keep collecting them. Who cares what she thinks? I love your response to her though, that's great!
1 person likes this
@gr8life (6251)
• Malaysia
29 May 09
Hello amybrezik,
She is a great fan of American Idol and I am not. But whenever she talks to me about the show, I won't say anything as bad as that, at least to me. She asked me where did I put the box while I was engaged in a conversation with my boss who just got to know that I love to collect those boxes and promised to give all to me if he gets them again!
@kelpie (190)
• United States
29 May 09
I chuckled a bit at your response to her when she asked where you put the box. Sounds like she is guilty of collecting them as well and doesn't like to appear to like collecting them.
I like collecting old computer hardware parts. But they have to have something I like about them. It can't be just a pentium processor. That's not good enough for me. Hehe.
In my immature way, the only response I have for what you told her is "OOoooooOOoo BUUUUUURN!" Hehe.
1 person likes this
@gr8life (6251)
• Malaysia
29 May 09
Hello kelpie,
I just made it sounds more like a joke. I was laughing and told her that straight to her face. Maybe, I am not really angry at her but I did feel insulted with the way she talked to me. Alright, I know she doesn't like to collect those stuff but she couldn't say they are rubbish if she knows it is my hobby to collect those stuff. I wonder why she is not sensitive enough though she knew me since the past 10 years.
