Do you think distances will affect the friendship?

China
June 17, 2009 1:01am CST
Dear my friends, I have a question for you. Do you think distance will affect the friendship? We all have friends around us, we playing together, meet at least once a week, having fun. Of course your frienship will be better and better. But what about one day, your best friends have to leave the place and move to somewhere far? Will the frienship still last forver? Or will the friendship fade as time goes by? Please share your thoughts!
6 people like this
55 responses
@imsilver (1665)
• Canada
17 Jun 09
I had three of my best friends all move out of town within months of each other. Of course our relationship has changed but it's still there and still strong. Maybe even stronger. In missing them, I'm reminded why I like them in the first place. We keep in constant touch online but I still send snail mail letters and parcels just to let them know that I'm thinking of them.
2 people like this
@ckyera (17331)
• Philippines
17 Jun 09
wow...that's great! i admire people who can keep friends close even long distance... it takes some effort to keep friendships alive and so nice of you to do those snail letters... i also do that before but it seems that my friends are not that interested! hehehe...coz even online they hardly response on e mails...maybe they are really that busy in their works...i miss them and those days that we have...
2 people like this
• China
18 Jun 09
That's very sweet of you. i also like to receiving wirtten mails rather than receive from the stupid computer.
• Philippines
17 Jun 09
i think in a way the distance would affect the friendship, may it be intentionally or unintentionally. from my experience, when you're away from people, you build a whole new life, you get to experience stuff with other people and this in turn would gradually lead you away from a friend who lives far. if you're not careful and if you dont take the time to communicate, the friendship would fade. all relationships need effort for it to work out.
2 people like this
@ckyera (17331)
• Philippines
17 Jun 09
i second the motion...it really takes effort to make any relationship works even on long distance...but it should be a two way effort... i also experienced that and i notice that when we see each other it somehow feels that we're not like before and that something has really change...feels like there's a wall between us, although we're happy to see each other and miss each other and still keeps the friendship...but the closeness is not the same...
2 people like this
• China
18 Jun 09
It surely needs two way effort. Things changed, your life changed, their life changed, no one can be the same as before always.
• United States
20 Jun 09
I think you will always be friendly with your friends even if they move away; but when a friend moves away, I don't believe you'll remain bosom buddies like you were when you lived in the same area. You make new friends, there are new interests, and you gradually drift apart. In time you have little in common except your memories.
2 people like this
@ckyera (17331)
• Philippines
17 Jun 09
in my experience, i think yes, it do affects the friendship. its not that the friendship will not last forever, of course friendship will always be there, especially if they are someone who's become or have big part in your life, but if you they are far from you...it will really affects the closeness especially when you don't have constant communication. i can say all these because i have experienced it. my friends from school are really close to me and we even have in touch with each other even after we graduated but when the time comes that we are already working, some moves away and it changes everything...we were not able to talk often, go out and we stop doing all those things that we do when we still live near to each other even though we still see each other once in every month, we really feel that something have changed...we grew up separately and of course find someone new...our differences are showing but it doesn't mean that we stop being friends. now, we are still friends, talk sometimes, wants to hear from each other, wants to see each other again but the friendship is not like before...the closeness changed... and im sad about it! and i really miss my friends and those days that we had...
2 people like this
• China
18 Jun 09
Hi Sweety, It's okay. The purpose of life to to experienced. You grow up, you learn, you make friends, you meet different people, it's all about life. You can still make some best friends who are near by you now. RIGHT? Cheers!
@aikhong (661)
• Malaysia
19 Jun 09
Hi Vivian, as we all know, friends come into our life, and some come in and out as a passerby too. Good friends are really hard to find and we should always appreciate them. In my opinion, i think distance is really a challenge for friendship, just like it's a challenge for a love relationship too. Ya, as you mentioned, friendship will fade and will probably eventually diminished as time goes by, if the friends are being far apart and they do not always keep in touch. Actually, it will still depending on both parties to maintain the friendship. Altough distance do really physically put the friends apart, but if they can keep on contacting each other and put each other in heart, then i believe the friendship will still last. One day, if they have the chance, the friends will meet up again and continues the friendship till forever.
2 people like this
• China
20 Jun 09
Hi Aikhong, You are right, good friends are always hard to find. We should always apprecaite that. Old friends, new friends, come in and out, no matter what happen at the end, good memory will always be there with you!
1 person likes this
@myx_03 (540)
• Philippines
20 Jun 09
It wont affect your friendship,.. Distance is just a distance,. And for me the friendship you have will never be erased, as long you keep it in your heart. :)
2 people like this
@vicky30 (4766)
• India
14 Jul 09
Yes distances affect friendship.It even happens with very close friends.We talk for sometime on phone then after that the friendship just fades away.I had a friend when i was working in the company.He used to always be with me.Now he has gone back to his own place.Once i managed to get his number and call him up.Now because i am busy searching a job i have just forgot friends.
@vicky30 (4766)
• India
16 Jul 09
Yes i think the friendship never faded.Yesterday night he called my regarding about my job and his job.I felt so happy to hear from him.
• China
15 Jul 09
Hi Vicky, Don't worry, when you get your job and setlle down, you can still find a chance to see them, and i think the friend ship won't fade.
@saundyl (9783)
• Canada
22 Jun 09
I think they do - you dont spend as much time with friends that live farther away, you start calling them occasionally. Theres less time that matches (especially when you live in different time zones) to call or chat online. i have a few friends whom i still consider friends but i rarely talk to them...they've moved and i didnt get their new phone number and they dont call but we talk online...they have weird shift jobs and never are home when i am to call. We're still friends but we've drifted apart, We've developed different lives, different interests (we still have soem the same but our horizons have broadened) and well different friends too.
1 person likes this
• China
23 Jun 09
Distance and time zone is really a problem of keeping friendship. Do you have any good experience for keeping friendship?
1 person likes this
• India
20 Jun 09
Yes, it does affect friendship. I lost my two best friends in that way. My first friend whom I lost, she shifted to New York for her studies with her sister as her sister got married and now there is hardly I speak to her on facebook or calling. We were like the best friends. Everyone used to get irritated with our fun, because we always used to do something or the other. It was so fun.
2 people like this
• China
17 Jun 09
the most of my best friends are not around me,i am not live in my hometown and live a another city for 5years,but we are still keeping contact by msn and telephone usually,i will discuss with them for my work or family or life,i was so happy to have such friends like them.so i think real friendship will not to be affected for the distances.
1 person likes this
• China
17 Jun 09
Hi Chingmerrry, Good to know that you still have your friends back home. Do you think you can keep them because they are from the same place?
• China
17 Jun 09
you are right,i don't think i could keep well with the friend who were not meet from childhood.
1 person likes this
@Akila016 (70)
• China
17 Jun 09
Well,may be a little.Because we have diffrent situations. We meet diffrent peolpe.We would not have the same topic.And as the time going on, our value may change.We don't close like before.However,If we cherish our friendship,no matter how the world changes we can more close in a long distance.
2 people like this
@doryvien (2284)
• United States
18 Jun 09
Yes and No. YES, distance can affect friendship because it limits physical interaction and communication. Lack of personal interaction and communication can make one forget, or maybe make one find someone else who can be with him/her instead. Of course with the advanced technology like cell phones, emails and webcams, it's easier for friends to get in touch. But still nothing comes close to actually being there, specially when one is in a crisis or a conflict. No, it may not affect friendship if the people involved have conscious (and maybe unconscious) effort to keep the friendship despite not being together physically. If the bond that holds them together is strong enough, then no distance or any obstacle will keep them apart.
• China
18 Jun 09
Hello Doryvien, I like your answer. I think that is very true that friendship maintain need both way efforts!
@doryvien (2284)
• United States
18 Jun 09
Thanks! And thanks for bringing up this topic. I think everyone has something to say about friendship because everyone has friends. In friendship and in any relationship, both parties have to work hard to make it last. But then again, keeping it is more of a choice than a matter of course. Happy MyLotting!
• China
18 Jun 09
Maybe sometimes the friendship will fade as time goes on when the distance between friends and me occurs.Because the environment and background gradually change a little and searching the common topic of us is difficult.Besides they could meet other new friends and share the happiness time with them. Generally after a long period they connect me by phone or email who said they miss i so much and i believe the emotion is real.
1 person likes this
• China
18 Jun 09
We all know that even there is long distance, but the good memory of being together will always be there and will not fade as time goes by!
• China
18 Jun 09
You are right!The time we spend together will be the best memory of my life.And everyone has her or his style and nobody is the same.Some advantages from my dear friends have been absorbed to impact my daily behavior and thes merits could be evoked when i pine for the friends. Besides we can contact them at the important festival avoiding the alienated friendship.
@joclouds (14)
• Philippines
18 Jun 09
Definitely! We can sound positive and say that distance won't affect friendship (or relationship) but the truth is it really does affect everything. You may get in touch once or twice a week but eventually, it will just fade. People meet new people and gain new interests through acquaintances. If you are far, you will not be the priority.
• China
18 Jun 09
That's very ture. New friends come, old friend gone.
• Philippines
18 Jun 09
I still have contact with some of my friends 20 years ago. We exchange emails once in awhile but I'm more busy doing something else. So, in that aspect, things have changed.
1 person likes this
@subha12 (18441)
• India
18 Jun 09
It sometimes does. Actually distance prove whether the friendship was true or not.I have seen in my personal case, when I moved back to home town, the so called best friend started avoiding me. He was not getting all those advatnages he used to get. So it was not true friendship.
1 person likes this
• China
18 Jun 09
That's sad. Friends is to help each other, but not getting advantage.
@bellis716 (4799)
• United States
19 Jun 09
That depends on how you handle the separation. Most of the friends I have who have moved away have been gradually forgotten. We might write or even call once in a while for a few months or years, but as we got involved with new things and new friends, the connection gradually grew dimmer. However, there are a few friends with whom I've grown even closer over the years. One particular friend, I've not seen in about 10 years and may never see again, but I know all about her job, her daughter's struggles to find a decent man, her son's career change, her car problems, etc.
1 person likes this
• China
19 Jun 09
That's sweet. So when you guys meet, you have something to talk about!
@mama_bear (1118)
• Canada
18 Jun 09
hmmm good question, well i am still best friends with my recent ex. we were friends before we started seeing each other, then we just became better friends, he lives in australia now. and it was hard at first but i am used to it now. we talk every day on msn, we still talk and fight like we used to, nothing has changed but the location he has already come over to visit me twice. i consider him to be my best friend and one who knows me better than others. and i know him just as well. and our friendship has been strong enough to survive a new girlfriend, who was told from the word go that this friendship comes first and she should never ask him to choose between us. the romantic element of our relationship is over, thankfully were friends prior to it. i even give him girlfriend advice and he knows that i would never steer him wrong, he does not always like what i have to say to him but he knows that it is the truth always.i have only 2 girlfriends in the world one is in australia and she has a new baby so we cannot stay in touch like we want to because she is so busy now. but we are in contact from time to time. my other friend who is in england i have known her for most of her grown up life and even if we do not speak for a long time it is like that time never passed when we do speak. it is different with everyone and i believe that people come into our lives for various reasons and when they have come to do what needs to be done then they leave, so i try not to mourn the loss too much, like i said i try but it is not always easy.
• China
18 Jun 09
It's not easy. But you have to remember, they will alway think of you just like you are thinking of them!
@hi2rashid (153)
• India
18 Jun 09
i think true friendship does not affect with distances becoz now a days very easy and cheap communication is possible.
1 person likes this
• China
18 Jun 09
Maybe and maybe not.
• France
18 Jun 09
I think that distance can effect friendship, in both both good and bad ways. One of my best friends moved away when we were twelve, from Colorado to Florida, when she left we were alright friends, good enough to try and stay in touch...but now she is one of my closest friends. We actually became much closer after the distance was put between us. We grew in similar directions and every time we came back together we felt closer than before. Now I am living in Paris with this friend, and know that I have a life long friend. On another hand I have been away from Colorado for four months now and will return in just over a month, one friend came through Paris and we met up, I also believe I will have a closer friendship with her. Although I miss everyone, I am only in fear of loosing a few friends. I think that this depends on who you and your friend are now, and who will become. We all change, at any stage in our life, so you cannot be certain. It will be more difficult, but it may also be a positive to spread your branches farther and have people in more than one place. It could help you both experience more in life. The other concern in how hectic life can become, it easier to make time when a friend is near, hopefully that means that when you do find time for this friend it will just mean that much more, it will be cherished.
1 person likes this
• China
19 Jun 09
I am 100% agreed with you!
• India
18 Jun 09
No,aslong as you r in contact with him/her.Because friend is someone with whom you share your fellings wheather he/she is far or near to you.And you should have faith in your friendship in order to continue further. thanks
1 person likes this
• China
18 Jun 09
It's good to have the faith all the time!