Me, Myself, and I
By TLChimes
@TLChimes (4822)
United States
June 23, 2009 2:42pm CST
Me, myself, and I (2-28-07 adapted today)
This is an open, non-private letter so that everyone can pre-screen me before becoming my friend. I'm keeping it open so past friends can get a feel of who I am... even behind their backs. (coughshadowcough)
I am me. I sometimes forget things. I mix up my letters and my words. I love to write and I love to do other forms of art but am just now picking them up again due to lack of confidence after getting sick. I call myself stupid when I can't remember if I took my pill, what I'm cooking or why I entered the room I'm in.
My family comes before ANYone or ANYthing else. They are why I am still on this miserable little planet and haven't flown back to my native one. (that's half a joke, I am not that nuts) The kids have been my reason to breathe for a little over 18 years, they have put in more time then anyone else and will always come first. Besides they make me smile even when I want to cry.
I am political. I hate what the government does in the name of freedom and protection. I hate how it spends. I am a tie dyed hippie type. MAKE TEA NOT WAR!!!
I hug trees, animals and children. I eat meat. Sorry, but I enjoy a good steak from time to time, besides it just costs so much to go Vegan in the city.
I'm poor white trash and am aware of it. I have learned to be happy in my station and make the best of it. I do what I can to see that my kids don't remain in this place.
I hate, HATE people who harm their kids and blame it on something stupid. Same can be said for their animals. I have my causes and have no problem forcing them gently on others. BUT I won't be shoving anything down your throat.
I try to treat others with Love and Respect. I honor that they are a part of my world. I try to accept them for who and what they are... good and bad. Because I hope people will do the same for me.
I do not keep track of who does what for who because when you are in my station you CAN'T give to others the way they give to you. I do the best I can and ask no more of anyone else. I give of myself what and when I can.
I appreciate the gifts I'm given. But more so the time and energy given to me by those who care. I know that it is hard to remember those who aren't part of your daily lives so it means that much more. If it is something as simple as a card or and e-mail. It means more then I can ever explain here.
I try to be there as best as I can for those who need and want me to be. I try. Lately life handed me a curve that I'm trying to face with my chin up. (a lot over the last 2.5 years) It's not an excuse for my lack of attention to my friends but it is there none the less.
If Rowan's time with me is short then I will make the most of it, for him, for my other kids, for my husband, and for myself. It is my way. I am mother above everything else... including friend and Tammy. It is who I am.
I do not visit the online groups all that often because they are filled with nutty people who like to hurt one another over stupid things. The ones I do visit tend to be small and personal. You know, a coffee house to meet with your friends, or a library to learn to better yourself. I was never into the Bar mentality. Do not blame me for not being there or getting involved with it. It just isn't me.
I do not talk about people behind there backs. I do share things among friends that were said openly. Trust is important and since I wouldn't want you to tell people my secrets why would I tell yours? If I have something to say about you, it will be to you or something I wouldn't care about getting told to you. So whom ever is trying to say that I do.... here is my backside. You know what you can do.
If you choose to be my friend... Thank you. I will do my best to be a good friend. Please know that you will be important to me. It's part of who I am.
If you choose to walk away from our friendship... You will be missed. Your loss will be felt and dealt with. I'm sorry you can't deal with who Tammy is.
If you have made it this far in reading this then I bet you want to know what prompted it. Not telling. Sorry but that would be more info then you need. Just know that I am grateful to those who include me as their friends and will miss those who don't.
My sister said that if people know me then they know that my love, my friendship is real and true. I thank her for her kind words on a rough morning.
May you go through your day knowing I wish you nothing but love and Smiles.
Now your turn.... Who are you and how do you play with others?
11 people like this
16 responses
@celticeagle (168126)
• Boise, Idaho
24 Jun 09
Yes, those three characters we live with. I appreciate you taking the time to set this all down on this site. Recently life threw me a curve too. I am still reeling and trying to understand it all. It is so rediculous and hurtful. I am trying to put it all away. Hard. Yes, I agree there alot of nutty people in alot of the groups. We are who we are and all we can be unless we want to go the plastic route and I feel life is just too short.
2 people like this
@celticeagle (168126)
• Boise, Idaho
24 Jun 09
Wow! Was that really meant for me? I am humbled. Thank you. We should talk. I appreciate that.
@celticeagle (168126)
• Boise, Idaho
27 Jul 09
But never too late to this party. I will put your info in my address book and bug ya at some point. Thanks.
@TLChimes (4822)
• United States
24 Jun 09
Have I told you lately that you make the world a better place? If you ever need to talk about the curve you know where to find me and I can give you my other info if you want it.
Life is way to short... Rowan taught me that more then any other lesson my other kids taught.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
23 Jun 09
I'm 51, 3 kids, married, full time job, inclined towards libertarianism except for certain things that I believe the government has an obligation to provide, don't like taking orders, am extremely introverted, smart, like to read and idk what else. I hope it wasn't something bad that prompted you to write this. Hugs....
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
24 Jun 09
Somebody over on Yuwie was questioning my motives just because I was almost always the first person to read his blogs. Don't you hate when people assume you have an agenda when you don't?
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
16 Aug 15
57, 3 kids, divorced, think Libertarianism is good in principle,but in practice it gives people license to not help other people, lean a lot more toward socialism than I did six years ago, happy with a black guy named Tony, lots of job changes since I originally posted on here. Learned a lot about myself in the last however many years, not the same person exactly.
1 person likes this
@TLChimes (4822)
• United States
24 Jun 09
"don't like taking orders" really? with the crew we hang out with I think that's a given. I've been called controlling but would rather say I'm IN control.
It was written when someone was questioning my motives for being who I am... friendly here not so much in the real world... always afraid of screwing things up.
I love to read...but my eyes are bothering me so I don't do it as much as I'd like.1 person likes this
@mimpi1911 (25464)
• India
24 Jun 09
Hi Tammy
you are you, transparent, humane and beautiful. I loved your affirmations and have been trying to be there. I am a simple human who would like this place to be a happy one no matter what. A little smile, a little love, a little pat could change lives enormously. Remember mirrors? They could be of so many kinds. water bodies, the eye of a child, the dew drop, the clear sky? I am trying to mirror myself on you all , on who you are, who I am.
2 people like this
@ElicBxn (63640)
• United States
23 Jun 09
I'm conservative. Honestly, I don't care what you want to do in you bedroom, just don't force me to watch or saction it. I do care that you don't burden me, or society with it either. If you don't want the responsiblity of children, there are plenty of ways to keep from having them rather than KILLING them after you have made them. Besides, did you know how unhealthy it is to do that?
I would rather be by myself than to have to play well with others, but I'm quite able to be polite if nobody gets in my face. Having said that, if they do, I'm likely to strike back.
I can be a very loyal friend.
I will do my best to do good things for people, no matter how nasty they are to me. If I see a person who is mean to me, but she looks nice that day, I will say so.
I don't like liars and will avoid them if I can. If I can't I will be polite, but I won't trust them.
I'm very "crafty" but not too artistic. I can adapt some things so that they are not exactly like original, but I don't consider that "art."
I like purple, my friends call me "The Alien" and I've got lots of allergies - deal with them.
2 people like this
@TLChimes (4822)
• United States
24 Jun 09
LOL.... sorry but you made me grin. I like you just as you are even if we don't agree on everything.
I'm a jack of all trades... I try some things but am not great at any. more arty then crafty.
Allergies you say... you should meet my kids. I should own stock in zertec and the epi-pen.
1 person likes this
@dragon54u (31634)
• United States
24 Jun 09
Hey, a BIG thank you for mentioning pills--I'd forgotten to give Gus his meds and wondered why Cookie was making such a fuss!
I didn't know you had a sick child, I'm very sorry and I'll add Rowen to my prayers.
You have reinforced my opinion that you're a very nice person to know.
2 people like this
@mentalward (14690)
• United States
24 Jun 09
Wow! Well, all I can say is that I could be you! I could copy and paste what you wrote and say it is about myself. Almost verbatim!
If someone hurts me and wants another chance, I will give them one... ONE. If they hurt me again, I will walk away. I will not talk about them behind their back, I will not seek revenge. I walk away, into the future and away from that part of my past. I have no time to waste on those who are not true friends. I would much rather live my life because it's too short to be carrying a grudge. We have a choice in life to be happy or to be miserable. I choose to be happy.
Glad to meet you, TL! (AWESOME post!)
Glad to meet you, TL! (AWESOME post!)
@James72 (26790)
• Australia
27 Jul 09
I'm sorry to have missed this discussion when you first posted it! I think it's admirable how you've chosen to lay yourself bare here like this as not many people are prepared to be so open and honest on a community based forum, me included! I'm not someone who will go into any great detail about my personal life at all, but I like interacting with people and especially love to try and focus in on the quirkier and more light hearted aspects of life whenever and wherever I can. I actually NEED this to help me cope with a number of life's stresses and a serious job that can cause me a lot of frustration at times.
I'm very protective of those I care about and fiercely loyal to them once they've gained my trust, even though my loyalties sometimes aren't always in my best interests. I may not be as openly defensive of others as some people may be either, but I can assure you that behind the scenes I'm saying or doing something to protect the ones I care for. I do rely heavily on humour to mask many other challenges in my life, but overall I'm a pretty upbeat kind of guy that really does try to find that silver lining in everything and everyone around me. To a point at least! I'm someone who tends to pay attention to many things that others don't seem to as much and have a pretty strong ability to gauge moods of people even through their writing alone. I'm also very much fascinated with psychology and probably use it to assess situations and people far more than most people would. Anyways, this is a little bit about who I am and even this is more than I've ever shared in the one online place, so time for me to slink back into reality. lol.
lol.1 person likes this
@James72 (26790)
• Australia
27 Jul 09
Wow, thank you for your kind words and the BR! I enjoy the chats we have immensely as well and I'm no stranger to the "quantification" angle pysch's like to take with us either. But who gives a toss about labels! Like you said in your discussion wording, you are YOU and that's a wonderful thing. All we can ever be is who we are! Keep smiling, keep laughing and I look forward to many more mylot moments with you.
But who gives a toss about labels! Like you said in your discussion wording, you are YOU and that's a wonderful thing. All we can ever be is who we are! Keep smiling, keep laughing and I look forward to many more mylot moments with you.1 person likes this
@TLChimes (4822)
• United States
27 Jul 09
To me, my friend, you have often offered a grin, shared a moment of shared shock, and known just what was needed for your friends. In return I hope we offer that escape, that place to deal.... we all need it.
I took a nuropsyc test and the doc said that I use humor to deal with my feelings (she's right but only truthfully) and that I'm not self aware (wrong by a mile) I guess what can't be seen is what tools we use to get above the crap in life.
Thank you for being you, you really make my life better for having you in it.
1 person likes this
@worldwise1 (14885)
• United States
24 Jun 09
I don't remember having any previous contact with you here on myLot, T, but your post caught my attention - and I'm glad it did. How wonderful it is that you can be so open about who you are and what you stand for! Just reading your thoughts lets me know that we should all strive to be so open and honest. Have a good day.
1 person likes this
@p1kef1sh (45681)
•
24 Jun 09
I am me. English, Male, on a career break which is veering dangerously towards unemployment. I am a certified Depressive, but that word alone depresses me, so I'm potty which seems to encompass my approach to life. I love history and old buildings. Religions turn me off - so why do I spend so much time in a cathedral? They seem to be stuffed full of hypocrites, cynics and ego trippers. However, I do believe in a higher power - higher even than the Duracell Bunny. I loathe the way that politicians see war as a good way to build their egos, whilst the young people of their countries die so that the men and women in suits can wring their hands at the graveside and talk of "heroes". That said, those self same young people deserve to be respected and honoured. I am also disgusted that as a society we have allowed money and profit to become more important than people. I am not a socialist, but I do believe that capitalism has a responsibility to the people that make it work and not just to line the pockets of those that are already wealthy. At heart though, I believe that we all have the capacity and in fact are, good, kind and generous in spirit. My family are of course at the top of the tree. However, I have many friends, for which I thank the gods. They mean everything to me and whilst I am not as communicative as I could be, there is a place in my heart for them/you all.
1 person likes this
@TLChimes (4822)
• United States
24 Jun 09
I have several good pals from your side of the ocean. I have that depressive issue that I feel the same way about.
I miss the great architecture this area used to have... it's hard to find it hidden under the grime and newer glass things.
I always count you among my smiles.
@tamarafireheart (15384)
•
24 Jun 09
Hi TLChimes,
I know who you are and I love you for that as i am the same as you, but i have no children and I love my hubby and my siblings, both my parents and stepfather as gone to another realm so its just my sibling and their children that i adore, i have tow cats that I love dearley and I eat meat and love steaks, I love my friends who loves me back, I don't talk about anyone behind their backs, if I want to say something I'll tell them, I have know them over 30 years and they know me too well, I love y friends here on this site and nothing bad to say about them because they are my friends and understands me I am me and don't hide nothing, I write the way I feel, I don't like liars as it always comes back to them to catch them out, so that is me so far. Hugs.
Tamara
@TLChimes (4822)
• United States
24 Jun 09
Thank you, Tamara. I love you back!!!!
I have three cats (one is my sisters that I have been fostering for 3 years) and until they are big enough for new homes I have 10 dogs. In about two weeks it will be three.
You are good people.....
Hugs and good smiles.
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
24 Jun 09
Well Tammy, I choose to be your friend because I can tell that what you are is real. I too detest cruelty to children and animals and there are only a few people that I am close to because I must confess I don’t like too many folks. I don’t mean to sound arrogant and it is not because I feel I am in any way superior, quite the opposite in fact; I just know so many people that are not true to themselves and too attached to ‘stuff’ and in some kind of competition that I am supposed to take part it and I don’t want to. When I was younger I used to feel as though everybody belonged to some secret club that I was never invited to join and that used to hurt; these days I don’t want to join…
I will befriend anyone who is honest, real and nice but I won't tolerate lies or who individuals who 'cry wolf'.
I am a wife, a mother, a writer and an animal lover and my favourite time is listening to my music, writing and cuddling my daughter or my cats.
I don’t like politics and take no interest in it and I am searching for my spiritual path; I wish we could all be kind and love each other and all I wish for is peace.
1 person likes this
@TLChimes (4822)
• United States
24 Jun 09
(people scare me... I'm not good around them)
I'm just learning to be more then Mother... hard work since it's all i've known since I was 16. And with my youngest two having the issues they do it's hard to find time to do what I'd like.
I know just what you mean by that club and how it felt to not be in it.... I think that's where my people issue comes from... but I'm learning.
Nice to have you in my world.
1 person likes this
@Youreyes4Today (2356)
• United States
24 Jun 09
Tammy, I love the way you wrote this, direct and to the point in how you feel. I am the same way. I try and thats what counts the most. Not going to judge others, not my job. Trust is important as you say, if I say something to someone in confidence I don't expect to hear it from someone else days later that I didn't expect to hear it from.
I am only here because of family as well, my daughter, I am living with them at this time. I have tried to get work but my life has not been the best to present as a good working record according to what they expect. I have worked through all the years, but MOTHERHOOD, doesn't qualify you for much these days.
The paying job I did have I ended up with carpal tunnel surgery after six months of working, which the job I was doing I would not wish on anyone. It does take out the hands in more ways than one. No one believed me, thats ok, each has a right to their own opinion. Since then I haven't been able to get work. So I am here online trying to make what little I have so far. I have a positive attitude with it though. If I keep working it, it can grow, just takes time and patience. The thing is though on the way of doing all this I have met some very nice people, and some that I wouldn't want to give the time of day with.
I am not one to try and push myself on anyone like I have seen some others have. The way I look at this is, the world is made up of many different people, it takes all of us to make the world the way it is. Each human makes choices in life, which the circumstances of those choices become our life. Good Bad or indifferent, it is what it is, we move on to the next.
That may sound kind of heartless, but in reality if we are not able to let go of the past the emotions connected to certain things how does one move on. I mean you learn the lesson of life, take that with you, but what one doesn't want to do is harbor the bad feelings, anger, or what have you to get stuck in a place where you can't grow. I know I have my own issue's, I have seen professionals in my past to help. It helped. I learned some things about myself that well, some may not like my direct way of saying things. I accept that. Still I would like to be accepted for just that, being direct, being honest, saying things without having to worry about feelings being hurt. I don't say things to just hurt others, its just when I see something I am direct about it. I hope that makes sense.
Anyways, I liked the way you wrote this letter of introduction. In how you explained how you feel about certain things, I agree with you on those.
You sound like a person that has lived and learned, with your journey still in front of you that you are traveling.
I pray that you and your family to keep the faith in each other, to gain the knowledge as we grow, the compassion to show you are real for each other.
God Bless each of you for you
1 person likes this
@jellymonty (2352)
•
29 Jun 09
Interesting biography you got there.. at least we both love a good juicy steak!
1 person likes this
@gypsywoman344 (214)
• United States
24 Jun 09
Tammy you said things well, clear, and justly. " To know, know, know you is to love, love, love you." You are never running luke warm, your hot, and seldom cold.
Your straight forward and don't have to run and hide after saying something. What you see is what you get and that's what I LIKE about you. Abetter, stronger, or more honest person I have never known. That's why I CHOOSE to call you FRIEND.
1 person likes this
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
29 Jun 09
Thank you for that fount of information. I don't write well enough or think well enough about myself to match your input. I feel like an outsider in my family and am sad that I cannot turn to them when I need them. I'm a mother but the experience for me when my girls were little was very difficult and I didn't do things well. Everything I think of to tell you is quite negative...I will try harder. I'm a true friend but I don't have many friends...I find people rather fickle. I have one close friend who is good and kind but doesn't know how to appreciate me. This is not a criticism, he is not mentally developed. I love animals and I love my home, my haven, my special place. I wish I could draw but lack the patience to practice when my efforts produce rubbish.
In spite of the negativity, I'm basically a happy person who likes to be of help to those less fortunate or anyone really but I find I resent people who take advantage of others. I'm no Mother Theresa.
I believe in fairness and that there are always two sides to a story. I believe in being kind and I believe in being honest. I believe in keeping quiet if that's what I think is best. I've made many mistakes in life that have made my journey difficult. I'm confused as to why people don't seem to understand me.
I'm a person with hopes and dreams and coming to terms with the idea that I will probably never realise them...in spite of which I am happy and contented. What I would like most is to be loved dearly by just one person...that absence leaves a big empty space inside me.
My wish for everyone is light and love and the brightest of blessings.
@TLChimes (4822)
• United States
27 Jul 09
Being content in today doesn't mean you can't have some of those wishes tomorrow. I hope to get my writing well enough to give you a signed copy one day.... but in the mean time I will wish you a daily grin... you make the world better at least my world, when ever we meet. Know you are important.
1 person likes this
@maygodblessu44 (7336)
• India
20 Jul 09
Hello my friend TLChimes Ji,
Your feelings are quite appriciable. But they were too lengthy. One may learn from your open thoughts. May god bless You and have a great time.
@James72 (26790)
• Australia
27 Jul 09
Too lengthy? We must never undervalue the power a person gains by revealing themselves in this way. If this had of been 10 times the length it was, then this is TLC's right and we as her friends should be supportive of her strength in sharing such deep things about herself here. Anyone with issues about too many words written in such a personal post is better off not reading them rather than choosing to openly criticize! By doing this, it makes your response look like nothing short of a reply that was made purely for the sake of making one and there's not the slightest hint of compassion or understanding behind the words. Not cool I'm afraid. Not cool at all. 
2 people like this
@maygodblessu44 (7336)
• India
27 Jul 09
Hello my friend TLChimes Ji,
I now realize, where did I go wrong. I think, I have to listen to others, so that others do steam out their feelings. I am not dis-appointed to your reaction, rather I feel ashamed for responding in that matter. I hope you will find someway to steam out. I am ready to listen something more and read as well.
May God bless you and have a good time.
1 person likes this
