Breach of Good Etiquette........texing at the table?
By zandi458
@zandi458 (28102)
Malaysia
January 6, 2010 11:08am CST
Every now and then the DJ over the radio keep reminding listeners on good manners and etiquette which gives me great satisfaction. It is so gratifying to know that there are people who are taking proactive action to stir up awareness on good etiquette. It drives the message home that there is yet hope for the many ill-mannered beings around us. Daily we see or are being indirectly victimized by people who do not bother with simple niceties at all.
Have you found yourself competing with a Blackberry for your dinner date's attention? Gee, just when you think that you're both going to relax and enjoy each other's company he or she whips out the phone and stares at the device that no once can live without nowadays!
The handphone is just that...perhaps it's not attached to the hand all the time but definitely it'll be in a pocket or a bag nearby. It seems there is no escape from that little device that most of us never leave home without.
Having email and text (sms) a capability in the palm of your hand is clearly convenient but is it good etiquette to be using it at all time? We seriously need to re-think some of our priorities and ask ourselves whether it is okay to be texting in the presence of others? Some consider it as an 'in thing' and not a breach of good manners. In fact it is cool way to show others how busy and popular you are! Sure there's always room for compromise but we need to check on ourselves and remember that what's convenient to us is not always the right way to behave.
8 people like this
19 responses
@mzz663 (2772)
• United States
6 Jan 10
When I'm out somewhere I usually turn everything off except my phone ringer (my kids might call) I don't text when I'm at dinner or somewhere else where my attention needs to be. If it's a movie or a kids' school function I just put it on vibrate and if I get an important call then I text back and tell them I will call them later or leave the room to make a call.
I was at a school concert and the kids were doing a great job with the singing and dancing and all of a sudden the woman next to me had her phone ringing constantly. I turned to look at her and give her "the look" eventually she went out of the auditorium and came back. She must have shut the ringer off but I think it's really rude when someone leaves their ringer on during an event like that. If I wanted to hear the phone ringing instead of the kids, I'd have left mine on.
3 people like this
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
7 Jan 10
I do get irritated when people start talking on the cell phones in a function. As if it is more important than the function that they are in. Some even bring their cell phones to the church which is prohibited. I don't understand why they don't have any respect even in church.
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
9 Jan 10
Every sunday before the mass starts someone will announce to the congregation to switch off their cellphones but some people are just stubborn. In quietness of the church when everybody is praying silently suddenly someone cellphones break the silence which makes everyone turn their heads looking to the direction where the ringing comes from. It is quite irritating to have people who doesn't respect others.
@mzz663 (2772)
• United States
7 Jan 10
I would get upset if I heard someones phone go off in church, especially. you already know when you walk in that it's going to be quiet most of the time, why do you want to be the one that interrupts? I think if that would happen I would talk to the preacher/pastor and have them stop and tell everyone that we needed a moment of quietness so that the call can be taken. I would have to be rude to someone on that one.
1 person likes this
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
7 Jan 10
I guess most people go overboard with being online to the point of ignoring what's in front of them in exchange for being hip and hype because he/she is always updated with their Facebook and other online networking site.
However, I don't see it really as a bad thing, it only proves that the person you're eating with isn't really interested at what you're saying at all. Thus, a motivation to try to be 'more' interesting.
Though, I myself have had a share of such frustration when I was talking to my fiance a few days ago. We were online, him working at another country, the conversation wasn't really that intense, we were both tired and was just 'hanging out', we have our webcams with us so it's pretty much him and me talking face-to-face. But I couldn't help but be frustrated by the way he kept on typing or watching youtube while we're face-to-face virtually. Fuse tripped and all h*ll broke loose, I was angry. He complained of me being demanding, and I was frustrated because he found youtube to be more 'interesting' than 'us'. Eventually, we stuck it out, until we both cooled our heads and ended the night right.
I guess technology is both a great help and a great nuisance. You cannot force someone to be conscious about etiquette because we weren't taught these at home anymore. But perhaps if we go beyond our means to reach out and make the person realize that life is more fun offline than it is online. Then that would keep technology from stealing our manners and our lives.
2 people like this
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
9 Jan 10
Everyone should realize that we should not be slave to technology and that life should have more fun than what the modern day technology provides only if we can have a bit of control on it. People are too obsessed with being online forgetting the real pleasure that the real world offers.
2 people like this
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
20 Apr 12
True enough. I try not to be a slave of technology by switching off gadgets or going out instead of staying inside the room playing with computers. I also try to have an active lifestyle instead of just staying indoors all the time. Though it indeed is tempting most especially if internet speed and processor speed is at its prime! hahaha..
Have a great MyLot experience ahead!
cool
@alottodo (3056)
• Australia
7 Jan 10
Hi zandi you are sooooo right it annoys me no end when we are at the table having a good conversation over dinner and a family member start texting some friend or other to me that is rude, unpolite and disrespectful to say the least! for example one of my daughter came to visit with her partner and you know what they did? sat in the loungeroom playing games on their new mobiles any form of conversation was imposible so at last I gave up and went out to the garden to read my book.Later my daughter said we came to visit and you left us alone don't you want our company? of course I said I love your company but next time leave your mobiles at home!
@alottodo (3056)
• Australia
10 Jan 10
Well she has not visited ever since, but guess what? yesterday we went to lunch at my son's and wife home and there we were at the table when a mobile rang and my eldest daugther[ she is 42] got up took her phone out of her bag and came back to the table and proceed to answear her call! I just looked at my son and his wife,they did not say anything and I kept my mouth shut because it was not my home or my place to say anything.I do understand that people are very busy and business is pressing now a days but I think we should leave some time for ourselves and family, because at the end of the day they are as important as well.
2 people like this
@lynkshadow (299)
• Canada
10 Jan 10
Texting at the table is plain BAD MANNERS. I haven't experienced that but I have some younger coworkers who I take the bus with, I'll be trying to strike up conversations with them and they will be texting at the same time. It's annoying.
2 people like this
@freddystickman (29)
•
10 Jan 10
I always carry my phone - it doesn't get turned off.
But if I am on a date, or in any situation where it is important to me to spend time with another person, my priority is that person. I personally think it is fine to quickly chech a message , just in case it is something vitally important.
But unless it is urgent ( like someone is sick) leave the response until you have given the person you are with the attention and time they deserve.
2 people like this
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
6 Jan 10
Sometimes I just wish for the good old days when phones were at home and if you weren't there it was important, the person would call you back.
I hate people taking calls over dinner, texting, etc. I think you should give your priority to the people you are with (with certain exceptions such as doctors, etc.), not the phone.
2 people like this
@salonga (27775)
• Philippines
8 Jan 10
I hate to see my teeners bringing their cellphone on the table whether it be my son or my niece or my nephew. Even my husband hates it too. We therefore discourage them to bring their cellphones on the table because we don't want our dining to be disturbed by cellphones. Teenagers do text a lot and sadly they are texting non-sense things most of the time. I find it too rude that they could not enjoy the blessings of God fully well because they had to attend to the cellphone from time to time. We should teach our young ones to behave properly. It is not a good habit to text while eating. I and my hubby disregard cellphones during eating time so we want the kids to learn from us.
2 people like this
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
9 Jan 10
I appreciate what you are saying zandi, some people do seem to have been born with the darn phone stuck to their hand or their ear! I carry my phone with me most of the time but when I am with company and it rings, I may glance at it to see who it may be but I don’t answer it unless it’s my daughter’s school. It is rude to be sitting with a dinner companion and talking to a third party on your mobile phone! As far as texting, at the table it is a big NO NO!
2 people like this
@suzzy3 (8342)
•
8 Jan 10
I would think that was very bad manners to take a call at the dinner table.check and see who it is,after all it could be an emergency .People going through the chechout on the phone is unaccetable as well,the poor check out sitting there and the person talking does not even look at them or talk to them.Some people seem not to be able to live without a handset or texting someone.you see them walking across the road talking into their phone:they don't realise they nearly caused an accident.Some people just live in their own world and it is not healthy at all.
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
9 Jan 10
It is time that a new set of rules be enforced to discourage cellphone users from using cellphones in public areas like the ban of smoking in public areas. But it has become a trend nowadays that everyone must and should be carrying a cellphone which is only making the businesses involving credit sales more popular and profitable.
1 person likes this
@maygodblessu44 (7336)
• India
24 Jan 10
Hello my friend zandi458 Ji,
Well, it reminds me about my younger DIL, who after entering into house from office starts attending her calls on cell, so one day I told her to switch off her cell and allot some time for me as well. Well, firstly, I do not have any cell, in case, if others have during our meeting, I would request them gently to switch-off and pay attention towards me, else, I feel very much neglected.
May God bless You and have a great time.
1 person likes this
@maygodblessu44 (7336)
• India
4 Feb 10
Hello my friend zandi458 Ji,
So nice of you for your quick, immediate and positive favourable comments. Also, I am sure you are able to maintain better harmoney with your MIL. Keep it up.
May God bless You and have a great time.
@Sandra1952 (6047)
• Spain
6 Jan 10
Just because mobile phones are portable, it doesn't mean they have to go everywhere we go. Most people would never dream of getting out a notepad at the dinner table and starting to write a letter, yet they seem to think it's fine to text through a meal. It beggars belief. 
I would certainly not allow it at any table where I was. In my own home, it would be a definitive, 'Put that away while you're eating and don't be so rude!' In someone else's home or a restaurant, it would be more polite, but equally unequivocal. 
I would certainly not allow it at any table where I was. In my own home, it would be a definitive, 'Put that away while you're eating and don't be so rude!' In someone else's home or a restaurant, it would be more polite, but equally unequivocal. 2 people like this
@allknowing (130518)
• India
7 Jan 10
I had a visitor a young girl on Christmas Day. She had come to wish me. Every second minute her mobile would ring and she would say 'excuse me'(etiquette!!
) and get up from her chair and have a private conversation. It was so annoying that I just waited for her to leave and did not initiate any conversation which perhaps she understood. I hope she did!!![em]
) and get up from her chair and have a private conversation. It was so annoying that I just waited for her to leave and did not initiate any conversation which perhaps she understood. I hope she did!!![em]2 people like this
@danishcanadian (28953)
• Canada
12 Jan 10
My husband and I think that dinner time is our time. We don't use our phones to text, so this is not an issue. We don't take calls during dinner, nor do we pay attention to the computers at dinnertime. This stands, whether we're alone together, or with other people. We don't want to use our phones and other technology at dinnertime.
1 person likes this
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
7 Jan 10
It seriously annoys me when people overdo it with their mobiles when they are in company. Whether it is constant texting or making and receiving phone calls.
I can understand if it is urgent or an emergency, but other than that it is not necessary.
My neice was here a few weeks ago, and she spent most of hewr time on her mobile testing or making calls, until she ran out of credit.
I think some people are obsessed with their mobile phones. Thats all very weell, but in company they need to keep it to a minimum.
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
7 Jan 10
No one is advocating a complete 'black-out' on using the phone when they are with others but they should conduct themselves accordingly to the different circumstances that they may find themselves in. Yes, I agree with you people are so obsessed with their prized asset that they ignore good manners.
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
6 Jan 10
hi zandi more and more public places like libraries and some store a nd all restaurants are asking people not to use their cell phones while in this or that establishement. also I saw this in my own doctor's office. Please do not use cell phone while here. canyou imagine a doctor trying to take care of a patient and the patient insisting on using the cell phone for an hour, no
it cannot be allowed. I do not think that a dinner table is any place for a cell phone either. And I hate it when someone walks along behind me yelling into their cell phone, as if I gave two hoots what the heck they were jabbering on about.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
7 Jan 10
Time is money for many establishments and they do not wish to be interrupted by these annoying phone ringing while they are attending to their customers. Putting up signboards to disallow the usage of cell phones is a good way to deter customers from wasting their time. Many people take it for granted that having a phone in their hands gives them the freedom to speak and text when they like without any consideration for others precious time.
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
6 Jan 10
Personally, people & their cell phones drive me nuts. I have one but very seldom ever use, don't even know how to text & don't want to learn. My son is really hooked on his. He never comes w/out the darn thing ringing or he gets a text etc. He does not use it at the table. I think i would say something to him if he even thought about it.
1 person likes this
@myfb2009 (8296)
• Malaysia
6 Jan 10
Hi Zandi, i do agreed that it's not a correct way to concentrate on our cell-phone when we are seated on the dining table and wanted to enjoy our meal. Not only it shows a bad manners and etiquette, to the person who is having meal with you but it's not a healthy way to eat as well. Imagine when we are too occupied by the cell-phone, we will tends to eat in a rush then this attitude is not good to our digestion. We can easily fall ill when we don't chew our food nicely before we swallow them. The best way is, it's better not to bring your cell-phone along with you when you are having your meal. So, you can enjoy your meal to the fullest without any rush.
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
7 Jan 10
Cell phones has become an integral part of today's lifestyles and people tend to forget the health issues that affects them. It is quite common to see teenagers, having a meal out with their parents, busy texting or just playing some games on their phone. Their bored expressions and interest in their phone are a clear indication of what's on their mind.
