Friends on mylot.

@dpk262006 (58675)
Delhi, India
February 24, 2010 4:29am CST
Hi Friends! In the outset, let me make a humble request that this discussion of mine may not be taken otherwise, by any of my friends/members here and no one who intends to participate in this discussion should take it personally. This discussion is general in nature and be taken in the correct perspective and lightly. During my tenure here at mylot I have added different kinds of friends, who are from the across the Globe. It has been a wonderful journey on mylot so far and I have enjoyed each and every moment here. I love to strengthen my relations with my friends and I feel like communicating with them, besides communicating with them through Mylot. During my journey, I have observed mainly three categories of friends: (i) The first category for friends consists of those, who always come out with wonderful and meaningful responses in discussions and when you interact with them at one to one level [e.g. through ‘Private Messages’ (PMs)] they respond in the same manner and they remain very cooperative and warm, even when they exchange their views/thoughts through PMs etc. (ii) The second category of friends consists of those, who are very good and friendly in their/my discussions and they come out with very good responses/comments. However, when they communicate on one to one level/basis e.g. through ‘PMs etc., they either feel very hesitant or reserved or won’t respond in the same manner, as they would do in a discussion. I can understand their point of view because responding to a discussion could fetch them few cents, but a PM won’t……..lol! (I am just kidding); (iii) The third category of friends consists of those, who are very good at one to one level; they may not be that good, while responding to posts. I mean to way that they are more open, when they communicate with you one to one, may not be the case, when they respond in discussions. I am not judgmental or making comparisons between different categories of friends, all are very good friends, however, I have categorized them. Have you experienced the same categories of friends, here on mylot or you have carved out some other categories of friends. I would like to know your experience on mylot please. Thanks in advance.
9 people like this
26 responses
@Darkwing (21583)
24 Feb 10
Hi dpk! I haven't been around for a good while, or only every couple of months so that I don't lose my membership here. lol. However, I saw this discussion in my inbox and had to come and tell you what a very good, well thought out discussion it is. I know exactly where you're coming from. I don't consciously categorise my friends, but I suppose we all do it subconsciously, which is what makes this a good discussion because most of the time, we don't even stop and think about what we're doing in our heads, and you've made me realise that. My experience of Mylot is slightly different, as I don't regard all as friends. Yes, they can be split into categories but I tend to have close friends, of which there is a smaller group, friends and acquaintances. I tend to have a following... or did, before I strayed from here... but I don't have an awful lot of messages, other than from those who really care, and we tend not to talk about discussions in PMs, but more private things, so the first category is different in my case. I have 1) those who always answer my discussions in a warm, caring way and who similarly, will discuss their problems with me, openly; 2) Those who answer my discussions in a well thought-out way, but whom are not so close, so although they're still friends, they aren't personal friends but one of a larger group of friends who like to offer good advice in my discussions, but are not in the middle of the closer circle; and 3) those I don't really know; who are just acquaintances whose company I enjoy, and who like to take part in my discussions because they're interesting to them, but who don't really give a meaningful response... other than a few words which are obvious, and pump up their brass by a cent or two, lol. I think I've said enough, my friend. We all know there's a fourth category, but I don't think any of us ought to go there. So, I'll end with my Brightest Blessings, and wish you a wonderful day. Thank you for making me think about my response here... good discussion.
1 person likes this
@Darkwing (21583)
25 Feb 10
Hmmmm... LetranKnight, I do have the feeling you're trying to tell me something. Maybe I've picked that up wrongly, but there's a touch of mystery about your response! You're describing my first category down to a tee, and I think you know that, for some reason. Right... you gonna take that armour off and reveal the knight inside?
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
25 Feb 10
Hi Darkwing! I am very happy to see you in my discussion after a long long time. Hopefully, you were busy elsewhere. Many thanks for appreciating my discussion. I would say that you have also categorized friends here on mylot in a wonderful manner (better than me). Yes, you are right that in your first category of friends, the number of friends would be limited because everyone cannot be warm, open and forthwith in responding to all our posts and cannot have the courage to discuss with you his/her problem openly. (Your) Second category of friends also make sense, as they regularly respond to you. Third category of friends also have their importance, but they always remain and are treated like acquaintances (May be they feel happy that way). Many thanks for joining and enriching the post. Yours is one of the best responses so far, I can say. Brightest Blessings! Warm Hugs! Deepak
1 person likes this
• Philippines
24 Feb 10
nice for another mylotter to come back and start posting again. we are just acquitances here and but you know some people get to know each other to the point of getting to meet in real life
1 person likes this
• India
24 Feb 10
Right now I am enjoying Sachin’s innings on yahoo while munching on a Kitkat and here you come up with another of your interesting discussions….not fair Deepak…but like a good 2nd category friend, I’ll reply later OK
1 person likes this
• India
24 Feb 10
dont you just have to say something in the end to make me smile BTW the lil master is on fire and I'm hoping very much for a double ton from him...about the Kitkat...very sorry, by the time you've replied, all four fingers are being churned in my stomach
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
24 Feb 10
Hi Sudipta! Thanks for reminding me about Sachin's innings. I did not get the opportunity to see the innings, as right now I am in my office. I envy you that you are munching Kitkat, without offering it to me.........how can you do that? . I will anxiously wait for your detailed response. PS - It is my discussion, therefore, it should be my prerogative to decide the category..........lol!
1 person likes this
• India
24 Feb 10
And OH! the countdown to Deepak 10000 has begun (and I have come across only a handful of such worthy people on the lot)... so you're expected to be here more often and cheer the bandwagon
@Sreekala (34312)
• India
24 Feb 10
May I know deepak, in which category I will come..
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
24 Feb 10
Hi Sree! I need not tell you that to which category you belong to in my list of friends, you know it very well. I feel lucky to have a nice friend like you. Thanks for kick starting the discussion.
1 person likes this
@Sreekala (34312)
• India
24 Feb 10
I wanted to start so I concluded with one line
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
24 Feb 10
A need a detailed response please.
1 person likes this
@kiran8 (15348)
• Mangalore, India
24 Feb 10
Me ? what category I wonder ? Seriously deepak, there are different kinds of friends. I have some who send me a msg when they start a discussion asking me to respond and they never ever do that with my discussions. After watching this type of one sided interaction, now I dont bother much with the pms, unless the discussion is really interesting and I feel like responding...But most of the others are really nice
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
24 Feb 10
HI Kiran! Nice to see you in my discussion. Kiran, if good friends like you will start asking me about the category to which they belong to............I will be in trouble..........You know it very well that to which category, you belong to, I need not specify it, need I? You actually got my point to some extent, one sided PMs and communication could not last longer. Those who send you PMs and ask you to respond are not doing any favour to you and at one point of time, you might start ignoring them. Many thanks for joining us with your considered views. Have a nice day! Deepak
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
25 Feb 10
Thanks Kiran for deciding that you are not going to grill me . (There are some friends here, who love to pull up my legs........lol!) I agree with you that what matter is our healthy interaction and we spending quality time here.
1 person likes this
@kiran8 (15348)
• Mangalore, India
25 Feb 10
Dont worry deepak, I am not going to grill you on that score lol...there is no need to specify anything at all, it is the pleasure of interacting and spending some quality time here that counts. Talking about those pms and so called friends , i am ignoring them now...I hardly bother ..have a nice day
@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
26 Feb 10
Hi deepak! I don't think that I am consistant in any of the catagories..lol..Sometimes I get the urge to pm a friend or two but it's not something I do on a regular basis. I also don't have a lot of communication with my friends here through other ways besides myLot. It's not because I don't want to but it is because I am here more than most any other place. I have friends that I communicate with more than others but it is because I have come to know them better. I try answer with consistent warmth or passion but it also depends on my mood and how strongly I feel about the discussion. I'm not so much here for the money as I am the fact that I really enjoy my friends here and the learning experience has been awesome. I have always been hard to fit in a catagory Talk to you later.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
26 Feb 10
Hi Jen! You know it very well that we have been friends here for pretty long time and even if we miss each other's discussions, our bonding remains intact. I would undoubtedly put you in first category because I know that if you are going to talk to me through other channels, that is other than Mylot, you would be same person. I know it that you enjoy discussions and always willing to share your own experiences and you are not here for money. I also have the same notion. Thanks very much for joining us with your lovely response. Have a nice day! Deepak
@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
26 Feb 10
Yes..we have been friends pretty much since I joined. You are one my dearest for sure.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
26 Feb 10
Jen! Thanks for the compliments and I reciprocate the same for you. Deepak
@vandana7 (99278)
• India
26 Feb 10
Well deepu, that looked like a speech that some chief guest read out. I am missing the snacks. I dont know - I treat everybody as friends, unless they prove to be otherwise. :) I have taken your help innumerable times, and will continue to do so - shamelessly. :) Seriously, I could do with a friend who would bring balance back to my thinking from the skewed form as I sometime become. :) You are a great friend! There - I have told you what is in my heart and mind. Satisfied?
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
26 Feb 10
Hi Vandan! You are indeed a great friend and thaks very much for listening to my dull and drab speech, without snacks.......lol! You know it I love to give speeches.......lol! You are always welcome. Though I am not an expert, yet I try my best to help you out, if you are in a soup. Lol! Need I tell you your category, I don't think so because you are wise enough to understand. :-)
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
1 Mar 10
Hi Vandana! Actually, after posting my discussion, I felt that I missed to draft the fourth category. Which could be an exclusively reserved for friends like you. The friends who do not fail to pull up my legs in the posts/responses/comments, otherwise they are extremely nice and polite, when they communicate with me on one to one with me. I can include one more friend in this fourth category and there would be only two select members in the special fourth category. Deepak PS - I am really sorry for typing the wrong spellings of your name, it was inadvertent and unintentional error on my part. Hope you won't take it otherwise.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (99278)
• India
26 Feb 10
I am skewed now - I dont know the category. So tell it babyface! And you dare make mistake in spelling my name!
• United States
25 Feb 10
I have found some close friends here . But I also have pals . I have kept in touch with my close friends. With my Pals , we discuss our favorite topics and have a great time. I think it is great to have both type of friends.
• United States
25 Feb 10
You were my 11000th post too. Thanks. It is friends like you who help me reach my 11000th!
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
26 Feb 10
I am so delighted that on both the occasions, it were my posts. So sweet of you to choose my post for your landmarks on mylot.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
25 Feb 10
OH! Great! Sarah! I see your touching the magical figure of 11000 posts. My heartiest congratulations to you on this achievement. Dedicated band of mylotters like you make this place all the more wonderful and beautiful. I can recall when you touched your 10000 posts mark, the 10000th post was mine, which you responded by you and I felt honoured. Yes, people are different and we need to interact with them, as they actually are. Great day! Deepak
1 person likes this
@cupid74 (11388)
• Pakistan
25 Feb 10
Hi deepak Wow what a conclusion and what a study Well to me their are 2 main categories 1) Who are here for making Money 2) Who are here for social reason, to spend good time and find friends. so obviously nature and respoonse level of both will be entirely differnt, first one will be focusing on stsarting as many discussion as they can and get any many response as they can, their focus would be quantity While later one will be focusing on Quality and intrest, and its major discussion. these discussion would be lively and intresting. The categories you define are bit differnt as its mostly depend on nature of individual. Take care
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
25 Feb 10
Hi Cupid! Welcome to my discussion. I know that we have not interacted much on mylot for the past few months. I entirely agree with your categories of friends and I appreciate your idea that there are mainly two types of friends, who are here to establish links so that they can earn money and others are here just to enjoy some quality posts. Thanks for being a wonderful friend here on mylot.
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
4 Mar 10
Indeed! I know your commitments towards your friends.
@cupid74 (11388)
• Pakistan
26 Feb 10
Hi Deepak thanks for warm welcome. Well i know u r quite consistent here but i was busy and cant give proper time at mylot. but sure i appreciate and value my friends at mylot . and sure u r one of them Take care
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
25 Feb 10
I think that your categories are right on the mark of what mine would be. I do have one question for you however, and that is what category of friend am I? Sometimes I feel like category number one, and others like category number two. Have a wonderful day DPK!
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
26 Feb 10
Hi SCG! When I was drafting the discussion, I was expecting that close group of my friends here on mylot may ask this question, which you have asked despite the fact they can easily make out to which category they belong to. You of course belong to first category because you are consistent and regular in responding to my posts and otherwise also. I am lucky to have someone like you as my friend. Deepak
@Roseo8 (2947)
• India
24 Feb 10
My goodness Dpk...are you planning to submit a thesis on friendship in mylot???Why you will then end up with DR Deepak,Phd.........It looks like you like to make friends on mylot and then extend it to a more deeper friendship through PMs, Emails and what not.......... true there are different categories of people in mylot.There are some who make friends in mylot mainly for the sake of getting more responses for their discussions and for identifying persons whom you vibe with in mylot.I have gone a little further and exchaanged emails and Pms with a few of them...But I am not keen to make a wide circle of online friends since I am more comfortable with offline friends and can interact with them better.But the ones who I have befreinded through mylot are dear to me and i try to be in touch with them through mylot or emails..... Guess what,DPK, you make me feel that I am confessing to a priest on a sunday ....he...he....
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
24 Feb 10
Hi Rose! Many thanks for making a true but true confession before a Priest! I am not planning to submit a thesis on friendship on mylot. I started the post, the way I felt and I have explained in the beginning that it may not be taken otherwise, by anyone. I think there is nothing wrong, if we (including I) extend our friendship beyond mylot. It is correct that most of the users add other users as friends, so that they could get good number of responses. I know about you and I also know that you do not have wider circle of on line friends. I know that you remain in touch with your dear friends (who are from mylot) through other channels too. Have a nice day! Deepak
1 person likes this
@srganesh (6340)
• India
24 Feb 10
dpk262006!I hope,we earn for our PMs too.So,responding with messages is not related with earnings,for those people.As you have told,they may be hesitant to have direct contacts and all they need is a masked identity and no more than that.This place is for pure fun and not for any personal contacts.About the first and third category,I think,it depends on their command of language when responding.
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
24 Feb 10
Hi sr! It is a news to me that we earn through PMs too? I see no problem dear in communicating with a masked identity. My point is when they are nice and good in their responses and comments, perhaps they can do same thing in their PMs etc. I feel that language should not be a barrier in communication, we are not here to give marks for good or bad language. Many thanks for joining us with your considered views.
1 person likes this
@ckyera (17331)
• Philippines
25 Feb 10
hello deepak! hmmm...i am thinking where i belong in your categories...hehe but i guess i am a combination of all those categories! haha coz at one point or another, i can be like those that you mention but it depends from person to person. there are some people that we really find comfortable talking with whether on discussions or in pm's or in other means of communication, but there are also some that are not so so... just like in real life, we have our really close friends, and we also have some acquaintances, and our manner of talking & discussing ith them also differs... so i guess that's it. what do you think? hehe good day my friend!
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
26 Feb 10
Hello ck! Great to see you in my discussion. You know the category to which you belong to, you are in the select group of close friends, who always make me 'smile' with their responses. It is true that with some of friends here our comfort level is superb and we feel like discussing anything with them, either on posts or through other channels. Yeah, in real life also, we do not discuss everything with every friend. Thanks so much for joining and making the discussion lively. Have a great day! Deepak
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
1 Mar 10
Hello Ck! You indeed are a very jovial and jolly friend and I know that you love humor and fun and I respect of friends, who are humorous and love to make counter comments and make their presence felt with their wonderful comments.
@ckyera (17331)
• Philippines
26 Feb 10
hello deepak! wow! i' glad to know that i belong to the select group of your close friend...hehe and happy that i can make you smile with my responses... yeah and honestly i am like that in real life, i just have few chosen friend whom i really share most things in my life comfortably... and to the others, i don't usually share some personal things about me. its my honor to be part of your good discussions!
@jaiho2009 (39142)
• Philippines
4 Mar 10
hello dpk, I would attest to your second phrase...that friends who responded well on discussion but hesitant when it comes to PM(becoz they earn from comments and not on PM). I don't think it is my friend. Some people were just to private when it comes to their personal life and matters. Private messages is a starting period of knowing each other. Maybe,those people doesn't want to disclose any information about themselves,so,they avoid replying thru PM. Let's respect their opinion on this matter. I don't categorize friends whom i met online and haven't seen in person. I had an online friend for the longest period of more than 4 years and we haven't seen each other in person. We also doesn't had that constant chatting,but,we regularly say hello to each other and even talked and asks advices. We had this comfortable feeling when talking,maybe,becoz of the long period and friendship we had,even just online. Regarding friends here in mylot. I had few friends here whom i can say,a good friends...in real sense of the word. We exchange messages thru PM and also had chat when we see each other online,starting to build a connection with the real world,and a friendship that hope to last.
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
5 Mar 10
Hi Jai! It is for you to decide to which category you belong to, if you are to go as per my classification. All I know is you are very good friend here on mylot and I agree with you that some lotters want to remain private and their privacy should be respected. Everyone cannot be comfortable with everyone here. It is good to know that you have some on line friends who are some 4 years old and you are still carrying on with them. Thanks for enriching the post.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
6 Mar 10
Hello Jai! I am deeply touched with your wonderful comments and I am sure that you are friends' friend and you know how to build up and maintain bonding in a friendship.
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39142)
• Philippines
5 Mar 10
i can't tell what category i fall into,according to your standards(i leave the decision on your part) all i can say is that,in real life,i am the kind of friend who will never stand before you...but will walk besides you. i am not perfect,but i always tried my best to be one(when it comes to friendship)
@much2say (54009)
• Los Angeles, California
26 Feb 10
Hi dpk! Well, I think I know which one of those categories I would fall into! I don't take your categorizing personally - and please do not take my comments personally!! I enjoy seeing your name pop up in my discussions and reading your responses on myLot, really I do. But myLot, for me, is a place for friendly discussions . . . not really for socializing outside of discussions. The main reason is I have little time to be on the computer throughout the day. MyLot has sort of become a hobby type thing . . . but any more than that, I would taking away time from being with my two little ones. Any social networking for me is via Facebook, but that I do for those I know in person and I do not get into meeting new people there. So please do not be offended by how I communicate here nor the lack of it . . . hearing from you and everyone on myLot is truly appreciated!
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
1 Mar 10
Hello much! I would like to say - "My pleasure".
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
26 Feb 10
Hi much! All I can say is that I appreciate your candid confession. Time is at premium for you, due to family responsibilities is understandable. It is always a great pleasure to particiate in your interesting discussions and to read your comments/responses. Thanks very much for sharing your views.
1 person likes this
@much2say (54009)
• Los Angeles, California
26 Feb 10
Hi again, dpk! It's always good to hear from you! Thank you for your understanding . . . and I look forward to reading many more of your posts and responses!
@pinklilly (3443)
• Australia
26 Feb 10
Hi deepak Great point you have made it this discussion.. I do relate to it.. I wonder where I fall though. I havn't spent much time around here lately. Unfortunately life has been rather busy...
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
26 Feb 10
Hi Pink! Long time no see. You were absent for pretty long time from mylot, hope all was well with you. You are a very good friend and good friends know their category.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
26 Feb 10
I have different types of friends here in Mylot. Those who are likes to always start a discussion here and they give quality discussions, who can be reach through PM. Those who do discussion but very discreet when it comes to PM because we will not get paid? and those who always ask if I was okay through PM but I hardly see their discussions. Same category as you. But for real, I don't care if they are different in their own way, I consider people are different everywhere. I respect their differences, actually that is fine with me.
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
26 Feb 10
Hi grecy! You and I are friends for pretty long time and you have been consistently attending my discussions and it is a matter of great honour for me that you always try your best to join in my posts. Yes, people are different and we cannot help it, everyone has their own choice. Thanks for sharing your views.
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
24 Feb 10
I just think of it more as close, not as close and haven't gotten to know yet...
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
4 Mar 10
Are there no friends on mylot, whom you consider close?
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
5 Mar 10
How many?
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
4 Mar 10
Yes, quite a few, actually.
@chaitra001 (3278)
• Bangalore, India
25 Feb 10
Hi Deepak.. I too have noticed different kinds of people here.. since I am not much active here I dont have more contact with more number of people.. one thing I can say is I have few friends who are very dear to me and supportive for me on mylot or off mylot.. and one of them is you.. and as you said there are other people who just not respond our PMs so I just dont bother about that..
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
25 Feb 10
Hi Chaitra! Welcome to my discussion. It is true that everyone is different and we cannot help it. I know it that you have select number of friends and you feel like interacting with them only. I am lucky to have a good friend like you, who always supports me and always remain a part of my discussion. have a great evening! Deepak
@airakumar (1553)
• India
26 Feb 10
I read it and wondering where you gonna count me..You are right, different people has different opinion and that's why they response differently. It is not necessary to talk everything in thread becoz words definitely matters. Friends are forever..may be they are far and sometimes goes out of your reach but deep in the heart you are always. Have a nice time!!
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
26 Feb 10
Very well written, I would also say Aira, just like a poet! You have mastered the art of writing, I understand and am very happy to see that. You know your category and there is no need for me to mention in it. However, I find that you are not regularly appearing on mylotting, must be busy somewhere else. I agree that friends are forever, wherever they are far or near. Thanks for joining after such a long time. Have a great day! Deepak
1 person likes this
• India
26 Feb 10
Hi Deepak, As you said i have come across many friends here in mylot, To be frank msot of them are here for earning money so when we send PM to them they would not respond at all as it wont fetch any money. Have a great day.
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
1 Mar 10
Hi Deepa! Welcome to my discussion. You are right in your observation that most of the lotters/friends are here to earn money and they do not feel like communicating other than posts. However, I am here to learn and for fun and I do not post my responses/comments for earning. I believe that if besides talking through our posts with our friends, if we can extend our relations further, there is nothing wrong in it. Thanks for sharing your views. Deepak PS - While typing your name in the beginning, I inadvertently typed 'Deepak' because my fingers automatically complete this word. You know there is only 'k', which makes a difference in your name and my name.
1 person likes this