Even though she rejected me she still wants to be friends, what does this mean?
By ctrich91
@ctrich91 (52)
United States
May 15, 2010 9:10pm CST
Me and this girl have been hanging out a lot for the past 2 months. She knew I liked her cuz she asked me and she told me she liked me too. She would text me like everyday and some of this would be just about what I was up to, what she was up to or kinda getting into sexting a little. She had just gotten out of a relationship before that and said she wanted to take things slow and I told her that I understood and that it would be no problem. After maybe a week (yea i know only a week) she started saying she wanted to get with me physically, so i figured yea that was fast but i cant complain. Her parents are really strict and dont let her out much but she said she would make it work. After a while nothing happened and i made a huge mistake i got really pushy and desperate i wont lie. After that she said that she likes me but she doesnt think it will work right now but still wanted to be friends and maybe we could do something in the future. I told her that i understood but couldnt be friends with her cuz i would just get too involved again cuz i really like her and am not doing it cuz im mad, thats just how i feel inside. She started begging me to be friends with her cuz "im a really awesome guy" and doesnt want it to end like this. So I told her that we should just spend sometime apart and if she decides she wants something with me that she can always let me know. So now that i have learned that i need to not be clingy and just be cool cuz i was only pushing her away, do i still have a shot? I feel like her begging to be friends was a good sign that she wants me but i messed up. So will spending time apart make her want me again?
4 responses
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
16 May 10
It sounds like this person still cares about you and wants you in their life. It could be that this person is starting a new relationship with someone. they may want someone waiting in the wings just in case things don't work out. You would be that rebound relationship.
@ctrich91 (52)
• United States
17 May 10
I dont think that she is starting a new relationship with anyone cuz if she was she said she would just come out and say it. She is very honest with me and I am the same with her so I beleive her when she says that. But I do see where u r coming from with that. When she brought up just being friends she said that i could still be friends with her while being interested in someone else. But I think she said that out of frustration cuz the next day when I brought up the fact that it would be nice to have a girl as a friend to help me out with future relationships or problems she didnt say "yea that would work, or that would be nice". She just said "I really love how u think about what girls want instead of just urself and I still want things to work with us, maybe some time apart will do us both good". So I agreed and im not going to make any contact with her until she does with me.
@eLsMarie (4346)
• Philippines
17 May 10
I don't want to sound so offensive but I guess your relationship or her treatment to you can be labeled as "friends with benefits." I'm having a hard time sorting things out but I guess it's best if you'll follow your decision of tearing everything up. I suppose that she's a bit liberated and if things started as her asking you to making love then it might end as lust rather than love. I hope I don't sound that rude but if you're after for a suitable commitment, find somebody who can stand on her words.
@med889 (5941)
•
17 May 10
It means she wants to stay your friend after everything which has happened between you people. You know friendship is very dear and important to many people though they do not have love ones but they have wonderful friends who will stay by their side forever, and it seems that she has found you genuine and trustworthy to be your friend, you should have accepted because you may get a love one easily but friends are very difficult to find, and yeah who knows that first she wants you as a friend before becoming her lover.
@lifedoesntimitate (128)
• United States
16 May 10
My advice would be that if you agree to be friends with her, plan to be just that: friends. I wouldn't recommend saying that you'll be friends with her, but secretly anticipating the day that you'll be more than friends. That's essentially lying to her, and setting yourself up for possible disappointment.
That being said, I think that you both seem to be very honest with each other, about where you are and where you'd like to be. I think it would be fine and even good for you to talk to her and say, "Hey, look. I like you. You know that, but I just wanted you to hear it from me. I like you. I would be happy to be your friend, but I'll be honest with you: I'm hoping that one day we'll be more than friends. I'm not saying right now, today, tomorrow, next week. But someday. That's my hope. Until then, I really am happy to be friends, but I wanted to be honest about where I'm coming from." Obviously, you don't have to use those exact words, but you get the point. Just don't be manipulative, I would say. Be upfront and honest, and whatever happens, at least you know it's happening because of what's true.
