a friend in need, is a friend indeed...can we be that friend when needed?

Malaysia
June 17, 2010 12:21pm CST
i'm sure a lot of myLotters here have heard of that phrase,'a friend in need, is a friend indeed'. but do we really practice it with everyone that we call a friend? or is it only to a selected few special ones.. if it is to a few special ones, then why is everyone considered a friend? i've always thought that this phrase is actually a pretty selfish phrase..until i learned that it isn't about the friends that i need to be around me, rather it is about who can i be a friend to. in this day and age, it can sometimes be pretty difficult to be nice. sometimes we're misunderstood, sometimes we're not appreciated. sometimes other people think there is something wrong with us..but i say, 'what the heck?'... well, i do things because it makes me feel good and i can bet my yellow bum bum that others do feel good too. a good friend helped me out of some major troubles i had once upon a time. i am forever grateful to that friend of mine. i was shown how a good friend really steps up when the occasion calls...and i'll appreciate it until kingdom come. i learned a lot about friendship then. and i strive to improve my life by practicing what i've learned.. i'm a person who takes friendship pretty seriously...as seriously as how i want to be treated by those who i consider my friends. so i do care about them. i do try and step up when they need a helping hand. i don't care if my efforts aren't reciprocated, i just want to make sure that i'll be able to see my friend smile again.. because i like smiles. it's a nice thing to see, and it makes people look good but i digress... so...am i the only one who has this kind of thoughts on friendship? thanks in advance for your views & opinions, my myLot friends
17 responses
@saphrina (31551)
• South Africa
17 Jun 10
We all need our friends, Mario. And most of us know you are always here to make us smile, even if you have a yellow bum bum. But sometimes life can grab and hit so hard, not even the friendliest and best friend can make a difference for a while. TATA.
• Malaysia
17 Jun 10
nope. they can't. maybe it's because not everyone can read minds... here's a situational question: a good actor can put on a convincing fake smile while they're crying on the inside. so how would the friend know if the actor needs a hand?
@saphrina (31551)
• South Africa
17 Jun 10
Mario a lot of us can make you believe that we are just fine and happy. To see the sorrow and hurt in the heart will not always be easy. We know exactly how to hide it. To offer that helping hand will not always be appreciated. Sorry, but that is how i was taught. Not always easy for me to try and understand others. But, i know what you think and feel. Relax, breath and just stay with her, okay.
@saphrina (31551)
• South Africa
17 Jun 10
Who? where did she go?
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
18 Jun 10
Hi mario~ I don't think that you are alone in your feelings about how you "take care of" your friends, at least I hope not! I feel the same way about my friends. I am there for them when they need me and I hope that they will be there for me too when I need them. I must admit that I have been extremely dissappointed in my friends at times, on occasion in particular when I was in the hospital for the first time in my life. But, I still make sure I am there for them, although I have never forgotten how hurt I was! I have some very close friends who I have known for more than half my life and even though we don't live near each other we have stayed in contact and I know if I needed them to this day they would be here "in a NY minute" if I needed them! Those are what you call "real friends"!
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
18 Jun 10
Hey richnai~ You and I are "new friends", but that's alright! We seem to "run" in the same screwy discussions so I'm sure we'll become friends quickly! Hope so, see ya 'round!
• Malaysia
18 Jun 10
hi Opal...hope you got the notifiers. i never ever ever wanted you to be left out..i can't leave out my rollie buddy now can i? it's always comforting for us to know and be reminded that there are a lot of nice people out there who appreciate their friendship with others..makes us all smiley on the inside if there is anything that my myLot friends need, i'll strive to be there for them in a 'myLot minute' unless if it's this New Yorker i know who has her birth stone as an avatar and who's yelling 'rollie party!'..hehe. i'll be there faster than a speeding email..
• Malaysia
18 Jun 10
would that include the ever famous Banana Farmer?
• United States
17 Jun 10
I do try to be like that with my friends, but I am sure that I could be a better friend at times. I will even try to help out a stranger, though, if I see that they need assistance and it is something that I can do to help them. I think that is just being part of being human ... like it or not we all need each other once in a while, even if some of us do not want to admit it.
• Malaysia
18 Jun 10
when i read your writings, i've always had this feeling that you're a very nice person. i'm so glad i'm right
• United States
18 Jun 10
What about my writing has lead you to believe that I am a nice person? Why would you start spreading such vicious and malicious rumors about me? I assure you that I am nothing more than a non-sense filled, warped and twisted vixenish purple flower ... or at least that is my story and I'm sticking to it.
• Malaysia
18 Jun 10
reaaaally now? and i am the King of Timbuktu you may address me as 'His Royal Mario-ness..'. and bring offerings of fresh teddy bears the next time you visit
1 person likes this
@sunnycool (12714)
• India
18 Jun 10
Before i make my response---there is a heck of a difference between a Friend and a Best Friend and the proverb you mentioned in your main post holds good for Best friends Personally i do not expect anything from my friends----we are a bunch of good friends and i knew them right from my childhood and two of them barge into our gang from my college.we do hangout and have fun together---and help each other at the bad times.we're always there for each other.however i had some fights with some friends whom i thought were my best buddies....but they proved me wrong and i really hate such ones who think of user friendliness.
@sunnycool (12714)
• India
19 Jun 10
that does make you Good....we end up developing new relations in our attempt to help a needy person and they can never betray you as they're thankful for our help. As its said...."Help the Needy with the things they're looking for" It doesn't make any sense if we offer diamonds to a hungry person----all he needs is food.
• Malaysia
19 Jun 10
rightly said my friend reminds me of this: 'if you give fish to a man, he can only feed his family for a day. but if you teach a man to fish, he can feed his family for a lifetime'
• Malaysia
18 Jun 10
yup, there is a big difference between a Friend and a Best Friend. and sometimes a Friend can turn out to be a Best Friend, and vice versa.. a lot of things can change the way people are individually. i too have lost friends over the years when they proved to be not worth the friendship anymore.. and i've always liked the way my buddies stand up for me, the same way that i wouldn't even hesitate to stand up for them...even if it's their fault to begin with. if it is their fault, then we can settle it later after taking care of the matter at hand..
• Spain
18 Jun 10
In times of trouble and you need help, you will see your real friends.. This is pretty true.
• Spain
18 Jun 10
this is really common in this world full of imperfections, otherwise, the world will be imperfected. if all are farmers what will happen...
• Malaysia
18 Jun 10
mm..there will be a lot of farms?
• Malaysia
18 Jun 10
how true.. if only we don't need to go through any troubling times at all, the world will be so much more better thanks Kumar
• India
7 Jul 10
yes, it is a measurement of a friend how worthy he/she is at the time of needness. the more the need, the more good friend he/she is. when you need some when you are alone, if you find some he/she is just your friend. but when you really need someone when you are in tremendous trouble, if you find anyone standing by you, you can undoubtly consider him/her as your real friend
• Malaysia
7 Jul 10
how rightly put there rafaelnadal i like the way you've described it
@ElicBxn (63425)
• United States
18 Jun 10
I honestly don't make a lot of friends, because I am that kind of friend and there comes a point where you can only be pulled so thin. I have been there for friends, and, in return, they have been there for me. I view friends as "family you chose" and that's how I treat them, if they need me, they know they just need to call.
• Malaysia
19 Jun 10
i like that phrase 'family you choose' it is kind of true. we do choose our friends. and when we've chosen them, they know they can rely on us if really needed..
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85147)
• Shingle Springs, California
23 Jun 10
It's nice when a good deed is reciprocated, but not necessary. Sometimes you do something for a friend knowing that they can't reciprocate and that's just fine. It's nice, and rare I think, to find people who step up for one another, expect nothing in return and don't take advantage. Those are my disorganized thoughts for now. Subject to change at any time without notice. :D
• Malaysia
24 Jun 10
that is so deeep hope that we all have friends like that..i feel lucky that i have some and excellent disclaimer haha..
@med889 (5941)
18 Jun 10
We may have many friend but not all of them are trustworthy and honest too and not all of them like to be supported so there are some friends in my circle whom I would be helping out and they would also appreciate it, they would never be feeling inferiority feelings thus we can be dealing with such matters with intelligence and generosity, I always start in my surrounding to help people though.
• Malaysia
18 Jun 10
it does feel good to be able to help our friends..after all, that's what caring friends do
@shibham (16977)
• India
18 Jun 10
simply i would like to say here that it is too hard to find out a friend in need. as i have seen in my 30 years life, i have not found anyone like that. so i too dont know how much i am a friend in need to some one. take care.
• Malaysia
18 Jun 10
hmmm...from my 30 years of life, i've found out that there will be a time when we come across someone who can be that type of friend. we might find them now, or later, or we've already found that friend but haven't realized it yet..well, that's life thanks and take care shibham
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
18 Jun 10
Friends are the one whom we can rely on,so,friends should be in deed and in need. That is one reason why we had friends in this life,not only for companionship,or to have someone to laugh and cry. But,we need someone who will understand us and will never leave us alone. I may not be a perfect friend,but i know myself,i am giving my best to be a good one. I also had misgivings and shortcoming to my friends,but,still,at the end,i always try to be there when they need me. The only person who can prove what kind of friend i am,are my friends. Have a good weekend
• Malaysia
18 Jun 10
those are very good points jaiho
@sagar21 (1579)
• India
18 Jun 10
You made me think deep... Well I'm that kind of friend..& I want a friend who is the same... To me everyone is a friend, until they prove otherwise..... thanks for sharing... have a great day/night....
• Malaysia
18 Jun 10
i share the same views there... everyone is a friend, until they prove otherwise. the same with smart people...they're smart, until they prove to me what idiots they are.. thank you sagar for sharing and you have a good day/night too
@ariyanti (205)
• Indonesia
20 Jun 10
A good friend for me is The friend who can understand us as it is, regardless of status. Willing to help if we have trouble. Want to remind us, if we make mistakes. Do not exploit us when we pleased, and leave us when sorrow. Now hard to find friends who are really good. That needs to be understood, we must be careful in choosing friends.
• Malaysia
24 Jun 10
yup...we must be careful on who we choose. because it's our choice of friends that will make a difference for us
@aamir007 (129)
• India
19 Jun 10
Yes Mario this phrase is very familiar with all of us,I do agree with you, in this time to find a good friend is very tuff but dont worry here in this MyLot family there is lot of geniune friend with them you can share everything.
• Malaysia
19 Jun 10
good friends are like diamonds and gold..very hard to find but we should keep them when we find them thanks aamir
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
17 Jun 10
I don't like to the friend in need. I like to be the friend who is needed. If we could be both, how many problems could be solved in our lives. I am always willing to lend a helping hand. I have to be ready to accept that hands as well.
• Malaysia
17 Jun 10
i think more than a gazillion problems can be solved if we were all like that nicely said sender621
@edorms36 (275)
• United Arab Emirates
18 Jun 10
Hi! How I wish you are one of my friends because as I can see you are such a very deep and well meaning person that you will be glad to be of help to your friends who really need you the most and how you want to reciprocate and maybe pay the help u received forward. As for me, I always wanted to be a friend like that and I will be more than glad if my friend will come to me ask for help, I moght not be able to give everything that my friend will need but what is most important for me is that to be beside my friend when needed or at least my presence in their life will be felt if I'm somewhere far from them. I wanted my friends to know that I am a friend to keep until the end.
@kodukodu84 (1569)
• Malaysia
17 Jun 10
are you in need, or are you needed? :p ^__^
• Malaysia
17 Jun 10
i'm just being needy