What to do with a whiny friend?

Well I'm an upfront kind of person so the advice I will give you may not be to satisfactory to your needs. What I would do is tell your friend that it's over and that there's so many people out and around that are in the same situation. I would tell them that they need to go out more often maybe have a night out once a week with the girls, go to a club or whatever. She has to get over it and it is going to take a bit of time, but the best way to get her over her problem is to not give her all the attention your giving her now. You have to and talk sometimes but she has to realize that she has to get over it herself and not drag down others in her problem like she is.

Hello daguno, I am very sure that things will go well for her in the end. if she wants a fight, then let her. i believe all that she has now is hate, i think she doesn't give a damn now on what you feel. or maybe she didn't think you would had enough of her ranting. If i were in your situation, I would just tell her that i had enough of her ranting. then leave, come back when she's all settled down.

I think she needs to get laid.

As long as you focus on the past, something you can't change, you can't focus on the present. My best friend was like that too. She was heart broken because she was rejected. That was on high school. And she bugged me about that till we entered college.I was soo annoyed and I was afraid to be honest with her. So she was pestering me for 2 years over the same thing. One day, I was sleeping peacefully while she called me in the morning. She was crying and said that she couldn'T make it anymore because of the guy who rejected her. So I got up, didn't eat breakfast, didn't brush my teeth nor shower. I just went out stright to the bus for school. My boyfriend wanted to tag along and he went to eat a sandwhich at a local restaurant and would wait me there. Then when i called for my friend she complained on how it was long. So i told her it was because of my boyfriend. I think she misenderstood me and that he was coming too. She got angry at me and said that she said that she wanted to see me and not him...then she hang up the phone. I called her back but she didn'T answer I even looked everywhere. I wa sooo angry. Once I got back home, I wrote a long email to her. I wrote that i wanted to end our friendship but that if she thinks that she was wrong, she had to apologize and we could be friends again. Half an hour after i sent the email, she called me back crying and said she was sorry. Here is the thing. A friend helps a frien who is in need but there is a certain limit to this. I have problems. You have problems. Everyone has problems. At some point, we need to solve it ourselves because you won't always have someone by your side. What she'll do if you can'T be by her side anymore cuz you have to move or something? She will have to be stronger.

I have a friend that has been going through a simular thing,so what she has done is blocked all the people that she do not need to talk to that were todo with her ex,aswell as delete her ex off her friends list on all the things that he belonged to.If they block the person this is the best way rather than just deleting as they can still send messages if they are not blocked.Tell your friend that if she was that upset and angry then she would block the people that are upsetting her,that way they can not do things to annoy her.

You don't. Their relationship lasts for 9 years which is a really really long time. And it is not easy to recover from such break up. 6 months is still too short to move on. Just support her even though its becoming too annoying. It will be bad for her if she felt that even her friends are starting to go away from her. I think it will be better if you just set her up for dates. It will be easier to move on if she found someone new. And I think its about time for her to find a new guy.

She is your friend but she is taking advantage of your friendship.Tell her in no uncertain terms that you have had enough of her whining and that she has to stop thinking about her broken relationship.Tell her to forget everything and get on with her life and that from now on you will not tolerate her stupid behaviour anymore. Also tell her that if she continues in this vein then you will break off your friendship with her and leave her with her whims and to go and find another shoulder to cry on.There has to be a limit to everything.You will have to be a bit strict and harsh with her, not only for her sake but also for your sake.

She whines right? If you're a girl, give her a backhand or an "action of reassurance" not only that, just ignore all her whiny comments about that bitter couple. Just go out and party somewhere, where they wouldn't catch you partying. I'm sure there are a lot of good places to party at the good ol' UAE. The new girlfriend is the one starting the fight, not the ex... hence give your friend a reason not to fight her. Cause simply, starting a fight is a sign of insecurity. There is a deeper insecurity to why the girl would pick fights with your friend. Tell her that the new girlfriend is pitiful, stooping so low just to pick a fight with you. Give her a detailed reason why she shouldn't. Just ignore the drama and encourage her to wise up in any way possible. That way, she'll forget that man and the annoying woman of his. Take your friend and tell her straight that you don't want to hear anymore dramas from her. Reassure her and just make her laugh.

That is a tricky one. First of all like you said, 9 years ain't no joke. She must really have been committed to this person and when a great thing goes bad, it goes bad greatly too. It's a hard pill to swallow for you being her friend I'm sure this gets confusing and probably makes you feel helpless. But I guess my point is, imagine how she feels. Right? If you're just listening to these problems and can barely stand not jumping off the building, how about for the one who is actually going through the problem itself. I do not have any special tips for you or your friend besides just ride it out, because I don't know your relationship specifically. But based on experience, in most cases and in any complicated situation, it's best to let things simmer for a bit before making any rash reactions. Just let each other be. And when you get through this if you choose so, then you can talk about it and your friendship will be all the more stronger for it. Hope this helps, ddaguno! And good luck!

Give her a choice, sweetie. Stop whining or you won't be friends with her anymore. I sometimes have problems not reacting to certain comments, but i won't whine like a 5 year old about it. She seem to enjoy being like that. No offense. But you have to draw the line somewhere. TATA.

I think you should give it more time, is when you can listen and if possible make you think otherwise, it is cleared a bit, changes the subject, always being located and respectful. Wrong time, an unpleasant situation, but I have to do to understand that life goes on, if I finish, there must be, and each one has the right to move on and re do your life. If the clock is ticking, and she does not react, and follows with the same condition, and I think it is a case for the fence to see a specialist, for her sake and yours too.

Unfortunately, some of our friends are this way. There is really no way to tell them that you want them to stop whining at you about these things; because they may stop whining to you about the boyfriend, but they'll go straight to whining about some other thing that you don't care about. I think that the only thing you can do is to tell them how you feel about them always going on about these things and tell them that if they can't stop that you're going to have to stop talking to them for a while until they realize that you don't want to deal with this. Tell them that you are always there to help them in a time of need, but going on like this is not a time of need. This is getting way out of hand. Keep this in mind. Have a nice day! :)

If talk doesn't help ,why not trying something else ? for example ,hike and long trip.The best way to forget about something is to plunge into something esle.your friend by no means will be sad for her unfortunate suffering when travelling around the world .

i understand how you feel. but maybe you can bluntly or jokingly tell her that you've heard the same sentiments a couple of times already. ask her why she is still attached or affected with her ex. maybe they haven't had that closure yet. well, that's how i'd tell my friend anyway - straight to the face. there'd be no point in going around in circles or tolerating her behavior, she could just be needing the attention you're giving her. and perhaps telling your honest feelings will help her realize her behavior.

Poor me, poor me, poor me, pour me a drink! all the best urban

Depends on how good friend you are. Treat her as you would like to be treated in a similar situation. or, if you feel it's too much for you to take, just don't anwer every call, leave time between answering to her messages. Or, take her out with more people together in a group. or sign her up for eharmony. It is a very tough situation, and she is the first to deal with it, not get on her friends nerves - even tough is hard not to... or, I have another idea. tell her to write down everything she remembers, good and bad about the times they were toghether, an dtry to find what trigerred the separation. Once she is preocupied to write, she might be off your back... Good luck!

Then tell her about how you feel.. She may not be aware of what she is doing, she may not be aware that she has already annoying people. If she whines about it again, dont react, or dont mind her.

It's great that you try to give her as much support as you guys could. I understand that 9 years is a long time she spent with her partner. But after 9 years, she is not going to waste another 4 years getting over him. It simply makes no sense wasting our life after breaking up from a relationship. It is indeed difficult to get over it. But, this is life and we need to learn from it. I believe you have given way enough to her. When you realise that she becomes too whiny and you can't take it anymore, you should try to help her stand up. It seems like she is not taking your advice of ignoring them. Perhaps you can explain to her why you gave her that advise. If she still don't understand, you might need to tell her in a harsher tone. Although it might not be nice to treat your heartbroken friend in such a fierce manner, it is for her own good in the long run. She'll understand why you did that for. If you really take her as your friend, as a good friend, then you should help her forget him. First step is to let her know that enough is enough and that she should get on with life. Stop complaining about her ex-boyfriend. It will not bring them back together and let her know that what is over is over. No point living in the past when we should cherish the present. I hope you can give your friend the courage to stand up again! Good Luck and I will support you!