When will she ever care!!!!
By magrylouyu
@magrylouyu (1627)
United States
May 31, 2011 1:36pm CST
My stepson will be 8 in a few days. His mother still hasnt attempted to make any sort of contact. It just bothers me that a mother could basicly just give up on their child. I told a few days ago that my husband and myself make a gift registry at Kohls. I asked her if she was willing to buy her son something from there and her response was 'you need a credit card to do that'. That is very true but she told me last June that she would buy him something or a birthday card and mail in down to him. Here it is a year later and he never got that birthday card from her. I asked her if she could at least send him a birthday card this year and her response was 'I will see what I can do. I'll try'. I'll TRY!? What kind of answer is that when it comes to your son who you haven't seen in 16 months and havent even talked to in in 12 months? I told my husband I'm sure she has a friend who would be willing to give her a stamp and $4 to go to Walmart and buy her son a Birthday card. I just dont know what's wrong with her. How can she just give up on her son? How can anybody for that matter just give up on their child? I have 3 daughters of my own and I could never emagine having my husband having custody and moving 4 hours away and just giving up on them. They are my world and the reason I breathe every single day. What are everyones opinion on this or your opinions on parents like this in general?
3 people like this
9 responses
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
1 Jun 11
Maybe the mom has no extra money to do those things. In addition, she maybe was complacent that the dad will take care of her son's needs since he is in his custody.
However, if she really has no money for those things, a visit will truly make the son so happy and loved by her.
@magrylouyu (1627)
• United States
1 Jun 11
I wish that the answer could be as simple as that. She was on welfare for 8 years even though it's only supposed to be for 5 years and nothing more. She refuses to work and quits every job she ever has. She quit a job after 3 months just to tell my husband that it was either work there for 3 years with no raise or move back up north (still in the same state). She moved just because of a guy who, in the end, ended up leaving her just 4 months later because she was too lazy for him. She makes no attempt what so every to see him, call him or help support him. She's supposed to be paying child support and we havent even seen that. The state is on her rear for that one and she still has no job. Just out right rediculous.
@magrylouyu (1627)
• United States
2 Jun 11
The way it works is your allowed to get welfare for 5 years all together. So you can use welfare for a year and be off it for how ever long and still go back on for four years. She was getting welfare for about 7 years until the state caught on and stopped it. She threw an attitude like a little child because she wasnt having any more income. I wish the government made it alot harder for people but they dont. I am not against people who use it because they have to, to help take care of their families. It's the people who abuse it who make it hard for us hard working people to get it when we need it.
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
2 Jun 11
I pity the son for having a lzay mother like that. Sometimes the government is to blame for making people lazy too. Does it mean there that if you don't have a job, you can always have the "welfare".
Well, if that is the case, she will ever be dependent on them. How i wish the government can give those lazy people a hard lesson.
@changjiangzhibin89 (16556)
• China
1 Jun 11
After a married couple were divorced,the child suffers a lot.The mother in question throws away her son like worn-out shoes.How broken-hearted the poor child feels! .It goes without saying that this type woman may walk all over her current husband one day.
@magrylouyu (1627)
• United States
24 Jul 11
They were never married. They were together for a very short time. My husband never knew he had a son until he was a year old. He had to get a DNA test done and we finally met him when he was 18 months old. Ever since he was 3 years old we have had custody of him. I honestly dont picture her ever having a husband. Harsh to say but she has a new boyfriend every 2 weeks. She quit a recent job to move in with a guy and then he dropped her like a hot cake. I feel so bad for my step son but he knows his daddy and I are here for him.
1 person likes this
@deebomb (15304)
• United States
2 Jun 11
Hello magry. I know the pain you feel for your stepson as my mother was the same way. The worst time was Mother's day. I wanted to feel what other people did about their mothers but I couldn't. Now I have come to grips with the fact she couldn't be that kind of mother. I had the same situation with two of my grandchildren. She walked out of their lives and only saw them twice over the last 20 years. They call me grandma but think of me as mom. I tried to talk to her about it but it was like talking to a wall. Some parents just don't have that mother instinct or love. All you can do is love him that much more for her. That's what I did and so did my grandmother. I don't hate her but I don't have any contact with her either. She is the one that missed out on her children and grandchildren. This woman will see it in the years to came as has my grand children's mother has. She missed being invited to her daughters wedding last year. She has tried to talk to my grandson on face book but he just left face book at that time. These kind of women realize their mistake too late. you should look as you being your stepsons mother.
@kingparker (9673)
• United States
1 Jun 11
That just not right of course. Your stepson definitely needs a mother and a father, both parents' love. She doesn't even care about her son, why she wants to give birth on him at the first place. I just don't understand. What kind of mother is she? I wish that your stepson have a great birthday of his own. At least, he got a grandmother with him right?
@magrylouyu (1627)
• United States
1 Jun 11
His grandparents dont see him anymore mainly because we live to far. They do call him and when it's possiable see him every chance they get. They saw him about 6 months ago. My parents and my husbands parents are the main grandparents in the picture.
@manubla (472)
• Philippines
1 Jun 11
I feel pain whenever I read stories such as yours. I don't have children of my own yet but I have always believed in a mother's instinct. However, now, I'm doubting that because of stories like the one you shared and also having heard from people that I know. I am beginning to realize (and accept) that perhaps, not all women can be mothers. Yes, we can give birth but we cannot be mothers to our children the way mothers are supposed to be. It breaks my heart but I have to accept that reality now.
I hope that despite having such a mother, your husband's and your love and support for him would be enough for him to grow up to be a fine man. I also salute you for being selfless and making an effort to have the mother present in your stepson's life. 
@Jessi_T (379)
• United States
31 May 11
I don't want to sound rude, but just stop already. Does your husband care about his son? Do you? Some parents do not deserve children and it saddens me that they are people like that out there but they are. It is plain this woman does not want her child. Don't force him on her. When children are forced on cruel didn't deserve the blessing that they got children it puts the child in danger or at the very least sets the child up for heartache.
He looks happy. Let him be happy don't push someone on him that doesn't want in his life. She could buy him a card a the Dollar store for .50 she could make him a card even and he being a child would like it. She doesn't do nothing because she doesn't want to do nothing.
If anyone loves the child at all they will stop trying to push someone on him that does not obviously love him. The saying about any man being a father but it takes a special man to be a dad is also true about women you know any woman can be a mother but it takes a special woman to be a mom. Think about it. Look at the news where innocent children are harmed or even killed by people who are suppose to protect and love them. If she doesn't want to be a parent and love her son it is her loss and when he gets older he will understand that.
@magrylouyu (1627)
• United States
1 Jun 11
He is already understanding that. He hasnt asked about her in over a year now. I never even mention her name or talk to him about her. If he cared about why his mom doesnt make contact I figure he would ask. I am done pushing on her. I just asked her this one time. I havent talked to his 'mom' in over a year myself and this was the first time in a long time. I have her on my social network site and she never even sends me a message to ask how is he? how's he doing in school? Nothing. So, I figure if she's done I'm done.
@mansha (6298)
• India
31 May 11
May be its good that he never hears from her, she seems uncaring and while you are full of love and concern for him. A mother is just not the person who gives birth, a mother is a mother when she is there for the kids, when hurts his knees, who wipes his tears, makes him meals and all little things you do and tell him to help him grow and to nurture him. I think he has a loving mother so why bother about a women who just gave him birth.
@jillhill (37354)
• United States
31 May 11
When you are a good mother it is hard to imagine. My oldest two grandkids are my daughters step kids. She abandoned them and their dad when they were living in Italy..she ran off with another man. He was left holding the bag and the kids. Now when they are older she does have things to do with them. But for a while she didn't want them either...it's so sad for the kids....so very sad! The one thing that is good is my daughter loves them like her own....and they are my grandkids....I love them so very much!
@cream97 (29087)
• United States
31 May 11
Hi. magrylouyu. I don't think that she will ever care. Maybe something terrible has to happen for her to wake up! God forbid that though! I can't believe that a mother would not do anything for her child at all. How can she act this way with her own son? A Birthday card cost between, $0.50 to $1.00 and up. Dollar Tree and Dollar General both sells, $0.50 cards of all kinds. Trust me, she can try to at least afford a Birthday card from one of these stores. If not, she can save up a few bucks, that can't be that hard, can it be?
I think that this mom is just using every excuse that she can think of to allow you to take care of her son. I am glad that you are being loving to him, because his mom can never imagine what could happen to him, if he had to land in the wrong family! Does she have any idea how crazy and dangerous caregivers can be? I hope that she gets her act together so that she can be more involved into her son's life. I just don't understand why some mothers give birth to a child that is their own flesh and blood, but then expect for someone else to just take care of their own child. If she is not an incompetent mother, then she should be a mother to her son, especially at all times!
I think that this mom is just using every excuse that she can think of to allow you to take care of her son. I am glad that you are being loving to him, because his mom can never imagine what could happen to him, if he had to land in the wrong family! Does she have any idea how crazy and dangerous caregivers can be? I hope that she gets her act together so that she can be more involved into her son's life. I just don't understand why some mothers give birth to a child that is their own flesh and blood, but then expect for someone else to just take care of their own child. If she is not an incompetent mother, then she should be a mother to her son, especially at all times!