Some Important Information That Everyone Should Know
By CatsandDogs
@CatsandDogs (13963)
United States
June 21, 2011 1:18am CST
It's not something any of us want to talk about but it's going to happen to every one of us and that is dying. However, when visiting someone at home or at a hospital and in a comatose state DO NOT speak around them of things that you don't want the patient to hear because, whether or not the person is dying, the hearing is the last to go. For some reason, the nurses and hospital staff aren't allowed to tell you this. I know this from when my mother used to work in the hospital in her old town as an EKG tech but she wasn't allowed to tell the patients families. She heard so many talk about funeral arrangements and what was going to happen to the patients things. It was so awful that she had to bite her tongue and not say anything. Now that's not to say that the patient will hear you but that they just might and you don't want to take that chance. So please, make funeral arrangements, arguements, final plans on the patients things and other sensitive things like that out of ear shot of the patient. But do talk about everything good going on in your life in hopes to make their last moments happy ones.... if they're dying or wake them up if they're not.
Did you know about this? The human body is an amazing thing! It makes me wonder what else it can do!
10 people like this
17 responses
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
22 Jun 11
Hi Cats! You have brought up a "very serious" point! They
say that even though a patient might not be responsive, (in a
coma or just unable to speak) it doesn't mean that they are unable
to "hear and understand what their family and others around them
are saying! It is believed that many times a patient just can't
"express" in words, even though they are alert what they want to
say, and that they can hear what you're saying. Can you
even imagine being "trapped in your body and not being able to
speak or express youself by movement? It is usually advised by
nurses and doctors (as far as I've known-at least in NYS) to
warn the family or encourage the family to speak to the patient
because they "CAN" "hear" what is being said. They need to talk
only positive things so that this person "will" want to live!
2 people like this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
26 Jun 11
Hi Opal, I'm sorry for taking this long to get back with you! If you've seen my latest discussion, you'll know why. I've been VERY busy! Today I thought I'd take the day off for myself to regroup and ended up sick. Go figure!! 
I can understand fully where your mom and dad are coming from. That saying "There's no place like home" holds a lot of truth in it. May God be with you when your mom's time comes. It's not going to be easy but that you will honor her wish will bring you many blessings during your lifetime because you'll have unselfishly taken care of your mom during her last days as she had wished. Believe me, I'd do the same thing for my parents as I had promised them a long time ago that they wouldn't go to any nursing home as long as I'm alive and able.
I can understand fully where your mom and dad are coming from. That saying "There's no place like home" holds a lot of truth in it. May God be with you when your mom's time comes. It's not going to be easy but that you will honor her wish will bring you many blessings during your lifetime because you'll have unselfishly taken care of your mom during her last days as she had wished. Believe me, I'd do the same thing for my parents as I had promised them a long time ago that they wouldn't go to any nursing home as long as I'm alive and able.
@daeckardt (6237)
• United States
21 Jun 11
I have often heard that people who were unconscious could hear what was going on around them and often it is not helpful if they are hearing negative things. Sometimes if a person hears bad news when in that state of consciousness, they could give up on living even if there was a chance of survival in normal circumstances. I don't know why hospital staff wouldn't be able to tell visitors of this fact. There should be signs posted throughout the hospital of this information so that people would pass good information only rather than making everyone more depressed.
2 people like this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
23 Jun 11
I agree but not everybody knows about it and the more who know will pass it on, I hope. It's got to be pure hell for the comatose patient to hear everything going on and not be able to say something so, it's best to keep it on the positive side in hopes that if the person does hear, they'll know how much they're loved and wanted and not something bad or unsettling.
Sweetie, I've been wanting to tell you personally that I'm really behind in responding to a lot of discussions and that I will get to yours soon. I promise!! Just wanted to let you know that I have not forgotten you!!
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
23 Jun 11
I have about 40 mylot discussions to respond to and I will when I get the chance. The latest ones are always on top so I usually start from the bottom and work my way up however, Friday I have to go out of town with my mom to get my dad from the VA hospital, he's getting his pace maker battery replaced. It's about a four hour drive from here so my email will be filling up with more before I'm able to catch up but I've done it before and it's taken me days to do it and I'll do it again. *sigh.....
@daeckardt (6237)
• United States
23 Jun 11
I understand how that goes. I have been behind before and it is a bear trying to get caught up. I'm sure that you will get to them one of these days, although a lot of them are old and probably not overly accurate any more. I hope that many people see this and take it to heart. I think it is ridiculous that you say that hospital staff are not allowed to tell people that. It should be common knowledge!
1 person likes this
@danishcanadian (28953)
• Canada
22 Jun 11
I've known about this for years, but this is the first time I've ever heard that doctors and nurses aren't allowed to tell the family/friends/visitors about this. I don't understand why they would not be allowed to say so. They'd be doing a service to the family and the patient to make this known. In the meantime you are doing a service to a lot of people. Maybe the profession can silence the staff, but they can't silence the bloggers!
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
23 Jun 11
LOL Thanks danishcanadian! I love passing on good information. I really do. I don't know why the nurses and staff here in the USA couldn't tell anybody. I know it had to do with some liability issue but I'd think the issue being a human being is more important any liability issue but that's just me. Anyway, things might have changed by now since it was about 25 years ago since my mom worked in the hospital.
@jillhill (37354)
• United States
21 Jun 11
I can verify that they hear every word. When my father was dying he was already in a coma....his legs were discolored and he had just hours to live...my daughter was living in the Netherlands at the time and she called to tell grandpa how much she loved him...we put the phone to his ear....and he cried...yes....tears came streaming down his face! It's good to fore warn people of this....we read to my dad all night from a book called...thanks dad....we sang his favorite hymns....and took turns holding his hand telling him it was okay to go!
2 people like this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
22 Jun 11
Awwww, what a wonderful way to leave this world!! To have your loved ones reading to you about all the wonderful stories people have about their dads and hearing all the hymns you like and so on..... wow. He was one lucky dad!
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
21 Jun 11
I knew this for a long time, but didn't know the nurses couldn't tell the family this. I think that stinks, why can't the nurses explain this? Sounds like a change is in order...
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
22 Jun 11
It was like this about 25 years ago but it might have changed now but it had something to do with liability but in what way, I don't know. Still, human beings should be much more important than any liability. I hope the policy has changed by now.
1 person likes this
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
22 Jun 11
Well regardless if they changed it or not, at least I knew this and would never say anything in front of someone in a coma about anything but positive comments..
1 person likes this
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
21 Jun 11
I had been told this before and am one to respect the person. I would never do this in front of them, even if they could hear or not. It would be too painful if the person could actually hear and for me to know that perhaps they could would be devastating.
It would courtesy on my part not to do it that way and kind of like already letting go of the person while they are still alive. One does not know if by chance the patient in a coma could wake and making plans while in this state for me would be like letting go and I may not be ready, therefore, I think about them perhaps hearing this would be like we are ready to let them go. I have often believed that if a patient in a coma had the will to live they could somehow awake. Hearing arrangements to me would be like the person will loose the will to live.
2 people like this
@AmbiePam (86447)
• United States
21 Jun 11
I guess television can do a good service sometimes. I have seen so many times on TV people talk about how when they were in a coma they could hear things their loved ones said to them. And how they always tried to be positive. One mother said that her son never heard her cry. And she told everyone if they were going to cry, to leave the room when they did it.
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
21 Jun 11
Were they real people in real time or actors acting out a part? The reason I ask is if it was actors then people tend to not believe that it happens and talk around their loved ones when they shouldn't. By the way you worded it, it seems that they were real people in real time which is a good thing because it gets the word out. Then again, not everybody watches the same tv programs so I guess it's safe to say that not everybody gets the message. Thank you for confirming it! The more that know about this the more it'll be passed on.
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
26 Jun 11
I'm not sure about that, I mean, we know what we're taught so if someone wasn't taught something then they're not going to know. It's sad but true. That's why I posted this discussion, to get the word out so more and more people know about it so in the event of them being in this type of situation, they'll know to keep quiet about personal things about the patient until they're out of the room. Glad you know about it! Pass it on so others will know too.
@ladybug565 (2216)
• United States
21 Jun 11
I do actually know this. My mother was in a coma for a month and she could hear us, she also said she had alot of dreams while she was in the coma.
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
22 Jun 11
There you go! First hand experience is the best! Although it had to be right hard for you and your family but I'm glad she came out of it alright. How is she doing now?
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
21 Jun 11
Good morning, Cats. this is some good advice. Hope everyone remembers it if they have to be in that position.
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
22 Jun 11
Hi Jo, I hope they remember too because they could be in the same position too some day. Hopefully not but if they are, they'll want the same respect from others. Besides, positive things should be said, not negative things in hopes to bring the person back out of the coma. Kind of like, help them to fight to live.
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
21 Jun 11
i had heard this before. that patients in a coma or whatever can hear us. sadly i wasnt thinking of that a few times when i was with my John dieing. now im thinking that he may have worried if he heard me call our friend Deloris one night when i was crying and paniced that i was watching him breath his last. 
she had told me to call her any time at all if i needed her. John was always so protective of me and never liked seeing me worry or panic. @CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
22 Jun 11
Oh sweetie! You were in such a position that you didn't have your thinking cap on and it's no wonder!! It was your husband for heaven's sake! Don't beat yourself up over it. John understood and he also knew you'd be ok. He's in Heaven watching over you with such love!! Remember that, ok? He's going to meet you at the Golden Gate when your time arrives but I hope it's not any time soon!!
@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
23 Jun 11
There has been a lot of proof that people are somewhat responsive even though they don't seem to be. There have been tests that shpw people have elevated brain wave activity ehrn their loved ones talk to them if they are in a coma. I was once told that it was promoted by doctors that family talk sweetly to their loved one. Very considerate advice!
1 person likes this
@allknowing (130837)
• India
23 Jun 11
I have heard this before and I have also seen prayers being recited at intervals and gentle and melodious music played in the hope the dying patient hears.
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
23 Jun 11
It seems that a lot of people already know this but there were a few that didn't and I feel better now to have passed on this important information. I've heard of people reading a good book to the patient or reading the news paper on the daily events as well as play some music that they're interested in.
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
21 Jun 11
I know that very well. So, whenever i am on a hospital or in a visit to a dying friend or relative, we see to it that the atmosphere and the talks are all of happy nature.
But of course, when the dying wants to talk about his/her last wishes of how they should be buried, what will happen to the house etc. , then that's the time that it could be discussed.
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
21 Jun 11
Oh I agree! But only if and when the dying is awake and brings it up and not a moment before. I just remember my mom wishing she could tell the folks about this but she couldn't but she's told everyone that she knows so they'd know and hopefully spread the word. People think that just because the person is comatose they can't hear and that's not true in all cases.
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
17 Aug 11
This is some interesting information, but I am sure it is so True, because you often hear of people telling a Loved one they Love them, and do not go, and have heard of people coming out of Coma's and living because of this. So telling someone positive thoughts all the time will make them more comfortable and if they are actually dying will leave a more happier expression on their face when they do die as well.
@bobmnu (8157)
• United States
16 Aug 11
I have read of people who were in a coma and their family and friends would visit and carry on a conservation - very positive - and at times would make comments about the patient. Later when they recovered the patients reported that while they could not recall the conservations they did have a feeling of calm and knew that people were visiting them.
@lambjames513 (2)
• Chennai, India
9 Aug 13
It is very essential to keep your important information safe, because it helps to keep your person privacy. Do you want to keep your important information safe? Use White Noise Emitter which is helps to protect your important information from any types of hidden listening devices.
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