School, Traumatic Place?

Philippines
July 31, 2011 6:06am CST
I know this young pretty girl. She's so sweet and so entertaining. She loves going around with people a lot and she loves making people feel comfortable. But one day, I just noticed a really huge change in her. (We are not really close) She just started to always look serious. She avoids people. I always see her in meetings. Usually, she would love to talk after such meetings. But now, she leaves as soon as possible and is always hiding. She should be 3rd year high school now. I thought she's just undergoing some emotional changes as part of puberty. But her mom told us what happened. She's not studying anymore. She was kicked out of school (why???). I can definitely tell you she's not a bad girl. Her mom said it's because of her classmates who hurt her (details I don't know). She's so traumatized that she always avoids people. She just don't want to be around with people. Good her sisters and brothers are so supportive and they are always trying to understand her. Her sister who lives in US wanted to take her there together with their mom and dad so that she can start her life again there. What do you think of this guys? Do you think it's safe to be in school? HOw do you protect your children?
2 people like this
12 responses
la_chique
@la_chique (1498)
•
31 Jul 11
Thats so sad. I had a similar experience of school and got to the point where I never wanted to go and when I did go, I would stay away from everyone, so I didnt have any friends at all. Its so horrible. I hope that the girl can get over the bullying. It is never a good thing to let bullies know that they have gotten the better of you! Just be there if she ever wants to talk. I think parents should have an open relationship with their kids so that they feel they can tell them anything, and they should teach their kids how to handle such situations. My parents used to try to tell me how to deal with bullying. The parents should also go to the school and have a word with the principle to let them know what is going on.
1 person likes this
kalyani_marathe
@kalyani_marathe (16)
• India
1 Aug 11
Well said, la_chique, even I think that parents have a great role to play while their kids are going through such a tight spot. Especially because having a healthy environment to learn is the basis of their future, parents should be involved as friends in their children's lives at home and at schools... Without being nosy parents should keep track of what's happening with their kids. They can right things before they turn too wrong... And if unfortunately they do go wrong then parents just need to be there for their children.
Bannybanzie
@Bannybanzie (1397)
• Philippines
2 Aug 11
Hi guys! Thanks for your responses. Your right. Bullies should be taught a lesson and parents should be aware of what's happening to their children. Actually, her parents know the situation from the start and tried to resolve it. It seems like even the teachers did not like her because of her religion and that seemed to be the issue. When they got the chance to bring her down and give her failing grades, that's what they did and it's because she was sick. So cruel people. Happy mylotting guys and hope those bad guys learn a lesson!
celticeagle
@celticeagle (160797)
• Boise, Idaho
31 Jul 11
I have heard this alot. Nice, sweet and outgoing and then she makes a dramatic change all of a sudden. You know what I have heard is the initial reason? Having been malested and it is usually by a family member or someone she knows. That is horrible and scarey. That doesn't mean that is the answer in this case but it is what social workers investigate for first.
1 person likes this
ebuscat
@ebuscat (5935)
• Philippines
31 Jul 11
For me better for her to be online tutor so that time goes by she is not behind for the time of her school.
1 person likes this
apoljuice1
@apoljuice1 (730)
• Philippines
1 Aug 11
Thankfully, I haven't ever been in that situation, however I have seen people in high school go through the exact same thing. Truth of the matter is, sometimes school isn't just that safe anymore. A good way to handle this is if you saw this girl personally, you could approach her and ask her how she's been doing. She might need some form of release from her problems, but she's probably not aware of it yet. Once she's able to share her problems with someone, then they can start working on it: approaching the right school authorities, enlisting the help of a counselor, teacher, or parent.
mtrguanlao
@mtrguanlao (5522)
• Philippines
1 Aug 11
Hi banny! It's alarming to know about what happened to her in school,oh my! I have a baby daughter and I wish she wont encounter such things as like that. Bullying or hurting classmaets in school are really sometimes happening and hardly can avoided especially when a student is really mean to his/her classmate. I guess we should still consider what school we should enroll our kids but I know this is still no excuse for having bad students. I was in an exclusive school for girls when I was in high school and we are run by nuns so I think a reputable school is a good factor in choosing what school we should enroll our kids to avoid something like this. I'm happy to know that her family is being supportive to her,she really needs it.
pbbbsra
@pbbbsra (1214)
• Philippines
31 Jul 11
I think that home is the safest place for our children.But we cant keep them 24 hours for the rest of their lives at home. I think that school should be a safe place. The school and the teachers should notice and do somthing if they see a child bullying another. I dont understand why she got kicked out... I think she quit school, there's no reason of her being kicked out because some kids hurt her... I think she is not that strong, to deal with with it. I am happy that she is moving out. If she is going to the states, then I think she is will be better there with her siblings...
1 person likes this
Patsie Hatley
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
1 Aug 11
hi bannybanzie I am here in california and I have also read of some horrid things a gang of teenage girls did to various girls that they did not want in their cliques.It appears to me when teenage girls act like bullies they have no morals at all. I have read of several different appalling incidents that happen to girls who were not very popular. one girl was held down and they cut off all her hair to make her look like a boy. she was so traumatized her parents took her out of that high school and enrolled her in a private school where the teachers did not allow such things to happen.I blame a lot of it on the teachers who are supposed to know whats ]going on in their class rooms. Another girl was beat up by two of the most popular girls in the senior class. these two were treated as adults and sent to prison for 8 years.
Always smiling
@allknowing (130518)
• India
31 Jul 11
I can truly empathise with this girl as such situations specially when it has something to do with the peers can really create havoc in a child's life. This is a serious issue and the child needs special care. There can be several reasons why this happens and sometimes even teachers are responsible for this with their partiality.
kaliviano
@kaliviano (31)
• Philippines
1 Aug 11
Attending school really helps a lot hteres no question to that. Best thing to do is to adapt oneself in school. Rules and regulation to be followed. Defense mechanism has lots of classigication. Both negative and positive. Enhance yourself to the positive cope. Being isolated person in school has its issues and its not healthy. Better expand and know the reason why.....
flowerfest08
@flowerfest08 (1677)
•
1 Aug 11
I'm a student so I know that in school campus there's so many bully, if they feel insecure or you threatened them of your existence they make a gossip or just push you around, and that's really difficult to deal with because I have no choice than to go to school monday to friday, so 5 days in a week or more I can see them, what I did is I avoid those places that I think I will see them, and I sorounded my self with good friends.
kalyani_marathe
@kalyani_marathe (16)
• India
1 Aug 11
Hey, Thanks for starting this discussion. Incidents of child abuse in the schools are increasing day by day. I am a mother and my daughter will start her schooling next year. I would really like some help while trying to make her schooling a nice experience unscathed by any such experience. Thanks again.
cow_boy29
@cow_boy29 (236)
• United States
1 Aug 11
yeah school right now like a punish place, huh i can't imagine when your teacher angry you when you dont doing your home work, hem school now is bussines, but every one has fancy to get education to develope their ability