Marriage: Making It Work
@dlawrence1208 (25)
United States
February 26, 2012 1:01pm CST
My husband and I have known each other for 6 years and have been married for 3 1/2. We have a beautiful daughter together and for the most part are very happy. Very recently however we had some major difficulties and to be honest we're still working on repairing what has gone wrong. We recently realized just how different we are...but not to the extent that we shouldn't be together, but instead that our feelings for each other need to be the biggest benefit to us staying together and making it work. I love him very much and I know that he loves me...but life has sometimes just gotten in the way perhaps. Recent events over the past 2 years have caused us to experience tension, but through it all we've known that love could get us through.
I know that no marriage is perfect. I've often looked at other marriages and wondered why my relationship can't be exactly the same though, because it seems better...know what I mean? Ultimately though, the fact that we are still together should say alot for the history we have and why we should stay together. All that we have been through has changed us individually and as a couple. Those that know of our difficultites would say that we might be better off apart, but I beg to disagree...simply because we would both be miserable. We have had to learn that marriages require work daily though. Nothing will be easy, and the trials and tribulations of life, parenting, and love will make us stronger together.
What are your thoughts? Has anyone here experienced marriage troubles?
3 people like this
11 responses
@aerous (13434)
• Philippines
27 Feb 12
Well, marriage really have trouble if both of the spouse did not discipline themselves. Because in marriage no one can avoid small arguments but most importantly argument must not be because of money...because this might endanger the relationship. If spouse allow money is the basis of all things in this life. The marriage will not be last about a year but destruction of both couples...
@droidz (1)
• Philippines
27 Feb 12
There are no set formulas for a lasting marriage particularly through difficult times. Rather, it is how well you respond to the situations that constitutes life. There is a saying that life is a journey... then marriages are an adventure -- better experienced with someone beside you than without.
Remember that there are no set formulas, if you stick to a formula... you get frustrated.
It's not easy for marriages to work, in the same way that it is not easy to not pick up a fight with your siblings. What should be remembered is thus, you know that your brothers or sisters will be there for you through thick and thin, and in marriage it's the same way. You trust them enough that they will be there for you.
@Yestheypayme2dothis (7874)
• United States
27 Feb 12
I like to think that most marriages can make it if there is not abuse. However, one thing that can destroy a marriage is dishonesty. And if there is dishonesty all the way through a marriage, and it never stops, it can destroy a marriage. That includes entering a marriage for the wrong reason and never telling that person and it eventually comes out. How can you work on a marriage that is based on dishonesty. Thus, it depends on the issues that need to be dealt with and the people involved.
@angelwithkids (1256)
• United States
27 Feb 12
keep the communication lines open. either pick a day out of the week or the month to get a babysitter and go out. take time for each other. take one day out of the month that each of you go do an activity seperate. that way you each can maintain your own but still have time for each other.
@bb_gabs (205)
• Philippines
27 Feb 12
It is very normal in a marriage to have troubles as time goes by, for in marriage, you will see the real person in your partner, maybe sometimes, we don't see the person the way they are before, but I think its just a part of growing up together. As long as you know that you can live with each other, whatever happens, you can survive it together.
@foslcraft (14)
• United States
27 Feb 12
I have been married for 13 years. It has indeed been a challenge but I cannot imagine life without her. I also often look at other couples and think to myself, "what a great marriage they have!" Most of the time people think other people have it better, easier, etc. I once heard someone say "the happiest people I know are the people I dont know well." In other words, while Im sitting there looking at the other couple thinking, man what a lucky guy he is to be in such a great marriage, he is probably sitting there thinking the same of me and my marriage. We really do not know each others problems and therefore assume the "other guy" has very few issues.
I think marriage requires patience and participation if they are to be successful.
@lilaclady (28207)
• Australia
26 Feb 12
Marriage is a very difficult thing for anyone, in a marriage there are two people with minds of their own and these two people still keep growing, hopefully the two grow in the same direction, but minds change as well thinking, and everything else, I admire you for what you are doing, for making an effort, some people just give up, you can make it work, I really hope it all works out for you both and for lovely little daughter as having her mummy and daddy together is really the most wonderful gift you can give her......
@GardenGerty (158132)
• United States
26 Feb 12
If you do not experience difficulties, it may be that you are basically indifferent, and that is not healthy. I think even the marriages that look really good to you from the outside have some issues. The people involved may not even be admitting it yet. If you are both committed to working on this marriage, then you have a good chance of growing stronger from your difficulties.
@bing28 (3795)
• Philippines
27 Feb 12
That's nice of you still being together keeping your marriage work. That should be the attitude as long as you love each other you can get over all those hindrances. That's the married life you'll be experiencing problems but just some tests in your relationship. As you go along you'll be adjusted to each other and learn how to face little problems that come along. Now that you become parents the stronger the bond plus your awareness of being miserable when you part ways. So just keep each others love and offer to God everything and He'll keep you together forever.
@LovingMyBabies (85125)
• Valdosta, Georgia
26 Feb 12
I think we have all experienced marital problems. Its not the problems that should worry us because there normal, its the way we handle them and get through them together that should be the main concern.
My husband and I have been through being homeless and living in cars and tents, we have been evicted, been through a miscarriage, lived with multiple people, and most recently he got cut on a saw at work and had surgery from it so hes been out of work for 3 months. So were waiting to hear from Workers Comp now...
All of this stress and tension has put a lot of difficulty in our marriage. Were living with my parents right now, searching for our own place and they give us so much negativity in our life. They tell our children what to do, they make rude remarks about us, and they tell us all the time how much we owe them.
It is very hard but our love is so much stronger than any trial that we will ever face! We know our love can conquer all things so such stress no longer worries us as much.
We also have 3 children together who are our world. We feel Blessed to have them and each other.
I feel if your in love with someone nothing can tear you apart from them unless you give up. Don't give up though because with all of the bad we have had some good times too. The good might be few and far between but they are worth the fight! =)
Good luck and I hope you fight through it all... 
@trinkabelle (432)
•
26 Feb 12
2 marriages 2 divorces,. need i say any more, i divorced them both, sorry your having troubles, i hope you can work it out
