I have been disowned!! :(
By krupar5
@krupar5 (287)
United States
July 10, 2012 9:10pm CST
My mother and I have always had a very rocky relationship. Ever since I was younger we have argued and I have always felt that she really never cared for me. I was not abused or anything like that, but she always finds a way to reprimand me. For over a year now my mother has disowned me. I used to help her at her restaurant but when I became pregnant she told me to leave and never come back. I do not live with her, and I am married and my husband and I did tell her we were planning on having another child. I originally thought that she was upset because I got pregnant and would not be able to help her once the baby was born, but I told her that all I needed was a few weeks and my dad was going to watch my baby. I still do not know why she hates me and does not want anything to do with my family, but it has been over a year now. Should I even try to make amends with her again?
I have tried many times to talk to her and apologize for whatever it is I have done, but every time I do she pushes by me or ignores me. I have not tried again for a couple of months and I don't know if it is worth it.Thanks for reading this.
1 person likes this
7 responses
@musicluv4life (1867)
• United States
11 Jul 12
I have the same kind of relationship if not worse with my mother. she did abusive me when i was a kid and we never got along. to this day we still dont, we do better then we used to she has a new boyfriend and another child now but, for some reason she still seems to make things hard on me and not support anything i do. Yet she is the one who moved far away from me. Anyhow i dont see us ever being close and i think by now i am used to it. It bother me a little that i cant be close with her and that i cant get help from her when i need it, but i can do things on my own so i guess its alright.
@krupar5 (287)
• United States
12 Jul 12
I am sorry that you also have a bad relationship with your mom. Are you willing to try and have one still? I have sort of accepted the way things are, but I still want to try. Perhaps you two can at least have a reletinship even if it is rocky one. Communication and forgiveness is important. This is where my mother and I do not see eye to eye. She has yet to forgive me. I hope you the best. Thank you for replying.
@musicluv4life (1867)
• United States
12 Jul 12
I am willing to but, she doesnt seem like she cares much to have a good relationship. And the more i try the more she seems to put me down and make me feel bad about myself.
@Shellyann36 (11385)
• United States
11 Jul 12
I am so sorry that the relationship with your mother is so bad. It is hard when the person who is suppose to love you the most does not seem to care about you. I hope that you will find Peace and Happiness in your life even if you do not find it with your mother. Just remember to treat your children as you wish you had been treated by your mother. A big Internet Hugs to you!
@Shellyann36 (11385)
• United States
18 Jul 12
I am glad that you are instilling in your children what you do not have. I have three older boys and they don't like to hug me either.
@peavey (16936)
• United States
11 Jul 12
I'm so sorry you have this problem. Since you've tried to make amends without success, I think if I were you, I'd wait for awhile before trying again. Do you contact her during holidays or special days? Maybe send her a simple birthday card to let her know that you are still open to a relationship, but you can't force her.
@ddaguno (3107)
• Philippines
11 Jul 12
this is very sad but sometime relationships are really hard to understand since not everything is up to you. you have to compromise to get the approval of the other person.
if you really want to work it out with your mom, keep on apologizing so she will see your sincerity. if she ignores you all the time just keep praying and showing some effort. she'll turn around eventually
@samar54 (2454)
• Egypt
11 Jul 12
When the relationship between daughter and her mother be bad , it is make both of them sad ,
try again and again to be close , forgive her , may be you did some thing make her very angry without you felt , may be she see the small things very big , good luck
@sbucu57 (55)
• Philippines
17 Jul 12
You did your part in asking forgiveness from your mom not just once. Perhaps it would be best not to be in contact with her except during special occasions.
The people that we love usually hurt us the most. You mom sadly is still hurting, so better give her the time and space she need. Now that you had gotten married, your first priority is your family. Build and make it secure first. Once your mom learn and see that you are happy , then perhaps that will make her realize why you chose to be a mom and start a family as well.
All the best to you !
@savagecabbage (1216)
• Philippines
11 Jul 12
This is so sad to hear krupar :( Can you still fix this relationship? I do not know your mom but my mom is very caring and even though I would do something that she would not like, she will still forgive me if I apologize. Maybe you can try approaching her and bring back the mother-daughter relationship. mothers naturally love their children. I am sure that she loves you deep in her heart but she just does not know how to show it. Good luck with your situation.
