First love does rarely last
By Jals14
@Jals14 (42)
Philippines
December 13, 2012 8:18am CST
I had my heart broken many times, but the one that truly made an impact was of course the scar made by my first ex-boy friend. We planned to stay together, but some things just keep pulling us apart. He gave up first, and I'm still trying to comprehend why he could not go on. I knew it was partly my fault for being strict, but he had his shares of mistakes. I do not want to blame him for all his short-comings because he's only imperfect like the rest of us. I loved him, but I don't want to move on that easily. He wanted his life back and he is not happy. I talked to him recently and he said that he wanted to try to to live his life without me. We stayed for more than three years together and I just could not understand how he was able to say the words, "Break na tayo" from "Hindi kita iiwan." We made promises and we are suppose to fulfill them. I miss him, and I do not want to live a life without him. It has been a month since he broke up with me. I have a suitor now, and I promised myself not to have a boy friend until I reach the age of 21. I am falling in love with my suitor but falling in love may be ambiguous. I still cry for my ex, and I am so glad that my suitor is always there cheering me up. He agreed to stay friends first, but he will wait for the three years to come. I do not know what to expect and what to do. All I know is that everything reminds me of my ex and I am glad that slowly, those things are being altered by time and space. I don't want to fall in love easily again. I'll let my heart heal and it is nicer to stay friends first with my suitor to know if we are compatible. However, I still love my ex. Do you have similar experiences or any opinions that you could share? Please do tell me.
1 person likes this
12 responses
@asweetie (1187)
• India
26 Dec 12
Hi jals,
out here we have a saying that a girl can never forget her first love, no matter what. I am sorry your first love didnt last for ever. It happens with nearly everyone who has been in love for some time. 90% of heart gets broken at one time or another. Usually when things start to get tough people give up when it is the time to hang on and cement your love and relationship even more. My relationship with my bf ( he is my first and hopefully last) had ups and down but we always worked things around.
@Ashokraghute (158)
•
27 Dec 12
Hi Asweetie,
Gone through response. Like it Your opinion is correct. There are several reason for break up first love. But, in your case I have observed that you both understood the meaning of LOVE. Your's is not a case of physical attraction. Hence It will last forever. I pray God to last your LOVE forever, LIFELONG.
@Cdjran2015 (273)
• Manila, Philippines
25 Oct 15
There is no such as forever. If we cannot handle the relationship well, the relationship will be ended. So, we must learn what our partner like and we can tell what we like to our man. Open communication is good and we must all be open minded, understanding and positive.
@shion13 (85)
• Indonesia
14 Dec 12
you don't have to force yourself to forget him if you can't. just stay loving him eventhough he's not by your side. life is just like that, sometimes we have to overcome a broken love and broken relationship. for now, enjoying the life for yourself and do things that will make you busy maybe the better. no need to force yourself to be in relationship while you're still remembering about your ex. if he's really your mate, he will come back to you for sure. if he isn't, then there will be someone better than you who'll make you happy and will lead you together to the marriage. i've loved someone so much 'til my heart worn out, damaged, and broken yet i'm still loving him. i couldn't move on. but when i'm trying to enjoy myself, living my life to the fullest and do my hobbies, focus on other things, i've found my new love in my life who's already my boyfriend now. i don't forget him of course, the one i've loved so much. but he's in the past already. now i'm living today with my boyfriend.
@Jals14 (42)
• Philippines
14 Dec 12
I admire you for doing that. I can personally say that I moved on but not completely, and if I have to let go, I don't know because I'm still hoping just hoping that he'll come back, but like you said, I have to enjoy my life, and I have been doing that ever since he dumped me. Thank you for sharing your experience; now I have something to look up to. :)
@Cdjran2015 (273)
• Manila, Philippines
25 Oct 15
@Jals14 On your next relationship, don't compare him to your ex but rather learn how he handles you and you too learn how or what is the best way to be in the relationship.
@zearah (5381)
• Philippines
14 Dec 12
Thanks for sharing your love life. I believe in destiny.You can love and be love by anyone but only God knows who is best for you.Cry for heart break but always have faith in God.In time, you will find or he will find you, and that is your destiny.
I am speechless as to your question "Do you have similar experiences?", never I experience any relationship to a guy but somehow I have this strong belief in God.I have goo and best friends and, loving brothers and sisters, and very supportive parents, whatelse to ask for, I guess mine is no more no less.But if and only if God will give the true love then it might be a reward, so thanks God.
@Jals14 (42)
• Philippines
14 Dec 12
Thank you also for giving an inspiring message. I am a Catholic and I believe in God. I love how He's just there taking care of us. I know that all these are just challenges of life. If I can't go on, I won't be happy. I have to live my life like nothing happened. I have to stay happy, but I must learn from the past. God will help me. Thank you for reminding me that.
@BethelSophia (538)
• Philippines
14 Dec 12
Jals, sorry to hear about what you've experienced towards your first relationship. I haven't had any experiences like that because every time I broke up with my boyfriend, I see to it that I can and will move on. I think in your case is different for you've living in together for 3 years. But, in that kind of situation you have to move on I think. Open up your heart and welcome new relationship. The guy is looking and trying to fix his life alone, so kindly do the same. In the future, if you're meant to be then you will be together.
@csabaholcz (843)
• Hungary
13 Dec 12
What what? I don't want to control your life and give orders but...
You can't do this whit yourself you must fall in love and stand up from every failure at this age. You must learn from your (if there were) mistakes. When you get older you will be able to use your experiences!
Don't take away these experiences and love from yourself.
@Jals14 (42)
• Philippines
14 Dec 12
I will. I have learnt a lot and I thank him for coming into my life although he left early. People come and go, and now I know who my real friends are and who are not. I also thank him for teaching me how to love. Now I can give more love to the next person I will ever love through our experiences.
@GilMegans (241)
• Philippines
14 Dec 12
Hi Jals, well, it will depends on how you drive your feelings and love affair. It is not that because it's first time affair it weren't last anymore. Yes indeed that being in-love in the first time around constitutes lots of adjustments and explorations but it doesn't mean that it will ended up that way. In reality, many first lovers were successfully got married and lived happily ever after on their first love partner.
Lasting relationship doesn't measured on how many attempts you take, it is how you drive, understand and feel the true and intimate feelings on your partner. Thank you for sharing this topic Jals...
@abhi_bangal (3686)
• India
26 Dec 12
Oh you are too immature and that is why there are tears in your eyes. Let me be frank - once you get out of this age, you will realize that such love has zero meaning, in my eyes. There is hardly any love and more of attraction and who better than you to put forth as an example. You have started falling for your suitor, this shows that when you yourself cannot 'stick' to your ex, how can you expect him to do so? It's life and you have to move on. You said you don't want to. But see, your ex is already moving on and you are still stuck where you are. The more you remain in one place, the more it will hurt you.
If you have started falling for your suitor, try to concentrate on him. It will help you come out of the hurt that you are suffering due to the break up. Taking decisions like not moving on when you are not even 21 is too bad both for your life and your career. Good luck!
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
13 Jan 13
I had my first love quite young. And although it was only a short-lived relationship, it did leave a mark that until this day, I still have. For so many years, I had this big question mark why it had to be that way. Somebody told me that he just had a bet with another friend when he courted me. That if he wins, his friend gives him something. Well, upon knowing that story, I never bothered to confront him. I sort of was ashamed to be in that situation. I cried a lot. And it took years before i could really not think of him everyday. 25 years after, I saw him in Facebook. I was hesitant to even reply coz I wouldn't want to be reminded of the shame I felt. But inside me, I would really want to know what happened back then..to put it some closure. He got excited chatting that he even made an overseas call. He kept on calling almost every week just to have some small talk. Then one day, he asked me why stopped taking his calls back then. So I told him what i have found out. Then he denied of having known such thing coz he said that he really loved me that time. Then I asked him why he didn't manage to confront me when I wasn't taking his call. He said he figured that I might have not been that serious and that he just wanted me to be happy if I wanted him to be away from me. Well, all is behind us now. We have become good friends, though. But I think that he's always have the special spot.
@Daisy_22 (1229)
• Philippines
14 Dec 12
There are plenty of believers in that saying but I oppose to that.I was then in fourth year high school when I first had my first love...we broke up then after 6 years we meet and decided to try again, At first I thought that that saying is true but it really fails for both of us. Maybe we are really not destined with each other.
@mariaperalta (19073)
• Mexico
13 Dec 12
I have heard that many times... I agree. As mine only lasted a few years. Then went bad. Maybe we can find that special love again soon. have a great day there.
@Ashokraghute (158)
•
27 Dec 12
From this discussion I think that Jal fall in love of her bf in early age. Though she may be emotional for her relationship, though she may have loved him from last corner of her heart but, what I am doubting is that her bf did not love her. He simply made drama of love. He cheated her. He was not all interested in her relationship. but, in body. He wanted to use her. When boys and girl do not understand meaning of LOVE, which is divine, do not understand values of relationship in early age and fall in love then in those cases first LOVE rarely last. I feel very sorry for what happened with Jals. I will only request her don't get nervous with it. Take it as an accident in life and learn a lesson from this. I appreciate her decision. God may bless her.
