when to give another chance to your ex?

Philippines
January 19, 2013 3:51pm CST
a friend of mine asked me is she should give give a second chance to an ex who's trying to win her back. i don't know why they parted ways. all i know is that she was deeply hurt. what i told her is that she should not rush on thinking about it. give herself some time and if she still loves him, why not give him another chance? if he's really sincere to win her back, he'll wait even if it takes some time.
2 people like this
14 responses
@Mavic123456 (21893)
• Thailand
20 Jan 13
well it is her decision and not yours even if you see him sincere enough you didn't know what happened between them, maybe she's hurt really really bad and what he did is something not easy to let go and yes, if he is really sincere to win her back he will take the chance whether she will win her back or not. that's right!
@Mavic123456 (21893)
• Thailand
20 Jan 13
yes, she can just think for her options and you being there would be a great thing for her so she will have guidance and conscience. sometimes people need to have someone like you.. a side kick or a friend tagging along.
• Philippines
20 Jan 13
i only want to give her advice. it's for her to decide if she follows or not.
• Philippines
19 Jan 13
If the breakup is due to trust issues then she should really think about it---A LOT! Sincerity is hard to quantify. A pathological liar can be convincing enough to believe.
• Philippines
20 Jan 13
such strong words.i respect you point here. i also understand it's hard to trust people who have lied and cheated on you. but how will you say that someone is sincere or not?
@dee777 (1417)
• South Africa
21 Jan 13
Trust your gut-feeling...
@bellis716 (4799)
• United States
21 Jan 13
Since you don't know the reason for their parting, I believe you gave the best advice possible. I would tell your friend to see if her ex is open to counseling. Otherwise, they might just go down the same road again.
@Aja103654 (5646)
• Philippines
24 Jan 13
It depends on the guy's actions and what lead to the break up. Is the guy worthy enough? Does he truly show her he loves her? The girl must have a clear mind to see all this. People get hurt all the time after all, so it doesn't always mean that you get hurt once it's all over. Only she can decide that and she should take her time. besides, this guy will wait if he is worthy.
@Nursefrai06 (2498)
• Penrith, Australia
21 Jan 13
Well, they broke up for a reason. And besides, people don't change, maybe they can change but they will always go back to who they really are. And if I got back together with an ex, well, I'm pretty sure that he has probably flirted or slept with other women while we weren't together and I wouldn't want to think that, getting back together is too risky and the chances of you breaking up again are very high. Getting back together is like putting a band aid over a broken leg, most likely, it's not going to work.
@Sureoi (176)
• Philippines
20 Jan 13
Well, if she still loves her ex and her ex still loves her then she should give him a chance. There is this saying, "Love is sweeter the second time around".
• Philippines
20 Jan 13
i think she still loves him. the problem is does she still trust him to not cheat again?
@clocks123 (1225)
• United States
20 Jan 13
this is a decision your friend can only make. why did they breakup. i would really think about this since she was deeply hurt. if she wants to work it out, i would really give it some thought. i wouldn't rush into it. if it were me, i would move forward. i don't want to be hurt again. this is up to your friend, however.
@kingparker (9673)
• United States
20 Jan 13
I don't know what is the best time to give your ex a second chance if he/she really want to win your loves back. That entirely depend on different situation. Some people just can't go back and fall in love with the same person again, and some people might worth the chance to try it over again. Tell your friend, if he really loves her, and he thinks she worth the second chance, why not give it a shot.
@sriroshan (2585)
• India
20 Jan 13
Your advice to her in this regards is fine. But what I feel she should take her own decision because what you think about that guy she may have lost the feeling about him. In such situation she must take her own decision as it is her life question.
• Indonesia
19 Jan 13
I agree with the statement that I don't take back to any person who cheated on me, so the chance maybe depend on the situation except the broke with cheat problem. If the situation I was broken with my girl about different view with the problem, or missunderstanding or because emotional one of us, I will give another chance :)
@Arieles (2473)
• United States
20 Jan 13
Depends on how long ago the infraction took place, how deep the hurt was and what the hurt was. I believe in second chances some of the time, not all the time. When I'm done, I'm done and no amount of "trying to win me back" is ever going to work. When I gave it my all from the beginning and I wasn't met with the same amount of passion, it will just never work.
@ulan12rc (222)
• Qatar
20 Jan 13
Giving chances to a relationship depends on how they parted ways, sometimes it can be fixed immediately but for some instances it cannot be fix anymore. But for what you have stated she is deeply hurt so it means something is wrong and she needs to think about it not just once but many times and analyze the situation if she can handle the relationship good this time because if it is not going to be good this time she will never forgive her self the next time.
• Philippines
20 Jan 13
That's right, if she thinks the guy is worth for a second chance why not? She must also be on the look out for a possibility that the guy is just playing a game with her. For if, he really loves her, he can't afford to hurt the way it happened before.
• Zambia
20 Jan 13
It is important for her to evaluate all the circumstances that caused her to be hurt. She needs to note all the shortcomings that he had.Then she should start observing him for sometime if at all there are any positive changes.If she still loves him,she can point out his weaknesses and let him acknowledge those weak points.Together they can begin to have a supportive relationship while he tries to work on his weaknesses.Two to four months is enough a time to observe whether someone has really changed.If she is satisfied with him within this period, then she can have him back.