What To Do? My Son Shows Interests on Girly stuffs.
By Mrs.Pumpkins
@MrsPumpkins (466)
Philippines
March 31, 2018 2:32am CST
I don`t know if this is right. But I think your opinion on this will surely help me open my mind on this matter.
I have an 8 year old son who is interested in girly stuffs. When he was so much younger, he used to joke around wearing my make up. Of course, I responded negatively to it. When he went to school for the first time, he likes playing with girls. I thought it`s okay since they are kids. Now that he is on second grade, he participates in the school`s dancing program. He doesn't want me to caught him dancing.I thought maybe because he knows that I don't want him to suffer from asthma since he is asthmatic. But one day, my sister went to school to fetch him. She secretly hid and took a video of him dancing. When they got home, my sister let me watch the video. Yes, I am happy and proud that he is the leader of their group but what concerns me was how the way he dances. He flaunts his moves like a girl! Of course, I didn't want him to feel so bad about it. He is just a young child. But I don't want him to grow up having a hard time and confused with his identity.
So, what am I gonna do with him acting like a girl?
Should I confront him about it or is it too early?
I really don't know what to do... My family laughs at me about it but I am a bit concerned.
3 people like this
7 responses
@Bluedoll (16774)
• Canada
31 Mar 18
Who knows where his interests might lead him to. In my country some people have excelled in figure skating. Some figure skaters are strong while others show the world how artistic they can be. Still other skaters put their energy to hockey skating and I notice now that women hockey teams are becoming very popular as well.
If it was me I wouldn't confront but 
celebrate any artistic achievement or interest. What would concern me is a love one hiding what they want to do from me.
celebrate any artistic achievement or interest. What would concern me is a love one hiding what they want to do from me.3 people like this
@Bluedoll (16774)
• Canada
31 Mar 18
@MrsPumpkins There was some people I noticed where I live that had a son that was really timid. The father thought he would toughen him up to be a man in a way that the father viewed men? He put the boy into karate classes and tried to get him to play sports more. It was not my place to say anything.
But I always thought who knows if that little boy would become a fine doctor with hands that would do wonders or a male nurse that would help so many people. I know he wanted to mold his son into something he thought was the way men should be but at what cost?
I don't know everything and today it is so complicated but I know love finds a way. You are so lucky to have a little boy you can love.
You are so lucky to have a little boy you can love.2 people like this
@MrsPumpkins (466)
• Philippines
31 Mar 18
now that someone mentioned it... yes, he is fond of watching figure skating :)
and no, i don`t want him to hide his true identity from me. i want to be the first one to accept who he chooses to be :)
@owlwings (43915)
• Cambridge, England
31 Mar 18
My advice would be to let him be himself. You will do him more harm in the long run by trying to force him into the mould of what you think a boy should be like. If he enjoys dancing and moving his body, there's nothing really wrong in that and if he is dancing 'like a girl', he's probably just copying what he sees others doing because it looks and feels good.
3 people like this
@toniganzon (72279)
• Philippines
31 Mar 18
What is wrong with that and why do you fear it so much? He is too young and it's usually us who question their gender by putting gender on things like the clothes they wear, the color, the toys. When in fact there are no gender on things.
When my son was young he was fascinated when I put on makeup. I never discouraged with that. In fact he told me to put makeup on his eyes to which I did. I wasn't encouraging him to become gay because there's simply nothing wrong with a child being curious. But if I acted negatively, that would have stirred something that might psychologically affect him. IN fact my son has a photo of wearing a makeup and a dress and same with my brother when he was young.
Now he is 14 and he's not showing any signs of having any gender issues or confusion. And my brother is married with two sons.
My advice is for you to stop being concerned and never get angry when he gets interested in girly stuff. And no matter how he turns out, never forget that he is your own child.
2 people like this
@toniganzon (72279)
• Philippines
31 Mar 18
@MrsPumpkins you should never care what other people say about your son. It’s your own child. Not theirs. You are responsible for mounding him into whoever he will become someday and not them. Don’t deprive him of his joy just because of what others say or because of a misconception.
@MrsPumpkins (466)
• Philippines
31 Mar 18
maybe because i focused too much on what other parents' (at school) opinion about my son. thatnk`s for the advice.
@MrsPumpkins (466)
• Philippines
31 Mar 18
hi ma`am. is that really necessary? i mean, do i have to consult a child psychologist this time?
@MALUSE (69388)
• Germany
31 Mar 18
@MrsPumpkins You don't have to do anything. It was just an idea.
@rheicel (7065)
• Philippines
4 Apr 18
Just let him do what makes him happy. I think you must not worried about his identity instead guide him how to be a good and better person.
