Would you Rather be the Dumper or the Dumpee?
By davaoguy
@davaoguy (319)
United States
February 10, 2007 6:17pm CST
When your relationship is obviously on the rocks and breakup is already at the tip of your nose, would you rather dump your boyfriend/husband or you'd rather allow him to be the one who would call it quits? The downside of being the "dumper" is that you will bear all the guilt because people will think you're the one who did not have the patience to make your relationship work. On the other hand, when you're the "dumpee", people will pity you because of the shame of the fact that you were dumped. What's your thoughts about this?
1 person likes this
3 responses
@pagibig (297)
• Philippines
11 Feb 07
i'd rather be the dumpee. here's my take on this. when i love someone, i love them with almost everything i've got. so it's so hard for me to fall out of love with that person. and even if things are already not working out, i'd still want to try and make things work. i can't say goodbye to the person i love. if things are not meant to be, he has to realize it. he has to be the one to leave and say goodbye. only then will i finally accept it and move on with my life. i know it's a sad sad thing to hear/read. but that's what i am. when i love someone, i REALLY love them.
@davaoguy (319)
• United States
11 Feb 07
Yes it's really hard when you're the one who'll try your best to make it work. Relationships can be like a rope that gets frayed over time. The problem is that when this rope is cut off by the dumper, the dumpee gets all brunt of hurt feelings. Well, getting hurt is a reality of life and it makes us stronger in the end.
@Krisellamae (38)
• Philippines
11 Feb 07
i prefer none of the above since both are very painful. I have tried being a dumpee and it really hurts but i wont like to be a dumper either since i dont want to hurt somebody. Both are burden and dont bring peace of mind.
@davaoguy (319)
• United States
11 Feb 07
I respect your opinion. Yes it really hurts getting off a relationship. However, it is a reality we have to face and we have to confront it the way it is. I've been dumped myself and I prefer being the "dumpee" because I think everything can still be worked out no matter what. But if it hurts more and it's no longer healthy for both parties, then I will not hesitate to initiate the breakup.
@pebbles_cubbie (3789)
• United States
12 Feb 07
both are hard to be. i would rather be the dumper because it doesnt hurt as much. i don't think i'd bear the guilt because i have been in a relationship like the one you mentioned but i have and am still trying to make it work and help him overcome his problem. i've been very patient with him and still feel that i have been too patient. if i were the dumpee it would still be equally hard since i love him with all my heart. but i am a good girlfriend and he wouldn't dump me because i have been the only one there for him.
