Wedding Blues? What would you do?
By ahgong
@ahgong (10064)
Singapore
February 26, 2009 3:11am CST
I was watching this series on TV about how you can make your dreams come true if you pursue them with determination.
In the series, one of the sub plots has this man who was about to marry his child hood love. During the days that led up to the wedding day, his fiancee did many things that made him wake up from his dream state.
She was possessive and full of opinions about what he should and should not do.
She even go to the extend of checking his emails and replying to them on his behalf.
And listen to his phone calls, read his messages and then reply to them as she deemed fit.
Replacing everything and anything in his home that identifies his presence into something she feels SHOULD be in a home.
He was troubled by her possessiveness. And as the days go by, he does not seem to have a say in anything with regards to the wedding or the home which he is suppose to share with his fiancee after the wedding.
Even the bed room where he sleeps as a bachelor was redesigned to include her presence in ever corner of the room.
Feeling overwhelmed, when asked by the pastor whether he as any doubts or forever to hold his peace, he broke that peace. And apologized to his fiancee and left her at the altar.
I know it is an embarrassing episode in the shoes of the bride.
Now, my question is this. Regardless of whether you are the man or the woman on the wedding day. If you are caught in a position like that man, where you suddenly see a different side to your future spouse, and you know that you cannot imagine living a life that is so restrictive, what would you do?
Would you back out of the wedding so that both of you can lead your own life without all the messy entanglements with the law with regards to divorce and other seperation red tape?
OR
Would you go ahead with the wedding, citing the wedding planning rush as an excuse for your significant other's eccentric behavior, and that everything would be better after the wedding?
3 people like this
3 responses
@kun2349 (23381)
• Singapore
27 Feb 09
I will not back out on the day itself, unless i'm really left with no choice.. Because it's gonna be so embarassing for just for me, but definitely for the bride.. If i'm not happy with certain things, and the way things are going, i will make sure i resolved them before the wedding.. I dun believe in things getting better after marriage, because if it does not work before marriage, how high is the possibility for things to work out after marriage??
To me, things will only get worst, and instead of dragging on the unhappiness, why not let it go before things turned ugly ^_^
2 people like this
@ahgong (10064)
• Singapore
2 Mar 09
There is a chinese saying "Xiang jian rong yi, xiang chu nan"... it is easy to be going out together. But when you stay under the same roof, it is a totlly different story.
And in the story, after the two of them came together under the same roof, then he realized how possessive she can be.
In such a situation, I am sure many people caught in the same plight will feel troubled as well.
1 person likes this
@kun2349 (23381)
• Singapore
27 Feb 09
Yeah ^_^ Better to let it go when it's early and even though one dun care about our own pride, we have to think about the other party as well, as they are the ones we loved and thus we are standing there together, ready to take the oath..
THus, there's no reason to treat them that way by walking out of the wedding on the day itself.. And if we respect them, this kind of thing should not even cross our mind at all..
1 person likes this
@zweeb82 (5653)
• Malaysia
27 Feb 09
Haha
If things were never OK before the wedding as for this case, it will never be after it unless the silly guy speaks up. It's just clearly a communication breakdown. Wow, looks like the girl here is depicted as the devil!~ Which idiot in his right mind would want to have the devil as his bride
If things were never OK before the wedding as for this case, it will never be after it unless the silly guy speaks up. It's just clearly a communication breakdown. Wow, looks like the girl here is depicted as the devil!~ Which idiot in his right mind would want to have the devil as his bride2 people like this
@ahgong (10064)
• Singapore
2 Mar 09
I guess telling her to cancel the wedding is a difficult thing to do. That is why he kept putting it off. Yet at the same time, he cannot foresee going thru with the wedding. Especially during the vows taking with the pastor.
That is why the groom walked out of the wedding. First time I heard of a run-a-way groom!
1 person likes this
@katsalot1 (1618)
•
26 Feb 09
I would definitely call the wedding off. If you realise that the person you are marrying is not the sort of person you could share your life with, then there is no point at all in marrying them. It might be embarrassing for the other person, but it would be wrong to go ahead with it. Marrying them would only be the start of a very unhappy life for both.
@rmuxagirl (7548)
• United States
26 Feb 09
I would h ave to agree that I would call the wedding off. I couldn't imagine living my life with someone like that. It may be embarassing and hurtful, but it would be best in the end for both parties to end the relationship before it got worse and there was resentful feelings.
