What do you think about people and "cycles"?

I think cycles might just be cultural things as much as any other influence. Of course we are all subject to the physical cycles, but the exterior ones, like education, jobs, marriage, even schooling can be definded as cultural. Also certian social actions, like the treatment of women, children and anyone of a different race or religion would come under cultural pressures.

Please do not ignore the cycle theory-very few examples have invalidated this theory-what happens is that a child that has grown up in abusive relationship gets this into his or her head and when they become adults, they act in exactly the same way! Others of course dont, but the greater percentage do!

This a very hard issue. ALot of these people do see the challenge and meet it. Others fall into it and let it take them. I think it has to do with conditioning and what sensitivities befall a person and what doesn't. Each is an individual and can disregard these 'cycles' and move away. They do have a sensitivity to these short falls but can ignore it. It is hard. No walk in the park. But it can be done if people are aware and take steps to avoid these cycles.

It might be a truth, and some people might simply copy or mimic the same behavior as their abusers do. It is a sad psychological explanation. I hope that no one will be fallen into a bad cycle. Instead, they should know what is better for them.

I don't know if I'd go as far as calling it a cycle theory, but some people do fall in to the same patterns as their parents. But they always have choice, whether they know it/act on it/etc. All of us are influenced by our parents, family, peers, etc. as we grow up, but how we behave as young/old adults is our choice.

I would like to think that we do have a choice in life. You are right that as a child, we do what our elders do but as we mature, we can choose what we would like to become. But this could be an ideal situation for some. I have seen people who as children were exposed to violence at home and do to their children what their parents did to them. I told this to a nephew once when we had a disagreement about his attitude which he blamed on his growing up. He is still the same disagreeable person with an attitude. Perhaps, it is the environment and the circumstance that perpetuates a pattern and would not break unless one gets out of the environment and resolves not to be a slave to circumstance. This change could be tough. But frees one from this chain if one succeeds. Cheers.

well, my parents waited until their mid-20's... well, my MOM was in her mid-20's, dad would've been about 30 because he was about 4 1/2 yrs older. My bro was in his mid-30's before his daughter was born (he's 59 and his daughter is almost 25. However, there's a bit of family heritage for the women to either not marry or marry late, and my sister and I have never married, or had children.

I think the "cycle" you have refered to is something like the "habit" in our daily life.For example someone just don't like saying "thank you"after he or she was helped by others,although their parents have taught them,they just can't change their bad habit,so they get in to a "cycle".usually it's not easy to change the habit in our daily life.and of course,there are some good "cycle" in our daily life,if you get out of them,it's bad.

JenIntn I think that the cyle theory is just a theory and like kids who do not crawl or walk or talk at the time Dr.Salk said they should, maybe the kids never read the book. what I mean is just because some childfren were brou gfht up in an abusive home well not necessiarly mean they will end up abusing their own children. S ome p eople are so ab used that they sort of blank it out, and these people are in need of mental observation and help. So they may be abusive but most people coming ouyt o f abuse as a child tend to steer the other wayl they have seen the cruelty and will not want to ever be cr uel to husband or wife or their children.I know I grew with a verbally abusive father and submissive motherl.So I was very much against abusing someone with my tongue, or letting someone walk all over me either. Yes we all have choices,but if we have become mentally ill we may not make the choices we would make if our minds were not warped.So some people go on doing to others what was done t o them as a child. these people I am sure a mental health expert would say need help from a mental health clinic. good discussion JenInTn

I come from a dysfunctional family and as I grew I developed the same dysfunctions because that was all I knew and all I was taught. As I matured though and could see my life was not going in a direction I was happy with I began to question my way of doing things up until that point and realised that indeed I did have a choice and I could bring children into the world and treat them with abuse and contempt like I’d been treated or I could love my child with all heart and let her know every day how fantastic she is. I don’t like the way I was brought up but I am unable to change it and how I choose to live now is entirely up to me!

I can understand when I follow a routine. It's usually because I'm used to it and there are not surprises, so even unconsciously I may follow it. But when eventually, I get sick of it, I'll change something. It is all a personal choice whether we are conscious about or not, well, at least for me.

Of course there's always this potential that they will go through the same situation as their parents or relatives did. There really is a possibility considering the orientation of the family and/or circumstance. I know that some people would not be able to understand why but we have to consider certain factors that affect their lives. I'm not saying that they have no choice, because in fact they do, but we don't really have the right to judge what they are and what they have become. I'm not really idealistic, I'm just being realistic here because sometimes no matter how much we would want to control our lives, we can't. Certain decisions just don't fit with the situation, that's why we sometimes just go with what's there for us. I don't know about the others, but that's only my opinion though.

I absolutely agree that there are people who's lives fall into cycles. I came from a place where poverty was a common occurence. People who have nothing rearing children who also end up with nothing. But once in a while, a parent would dare and dream big. Not for themselves, but for their children. And would work extra hard just to get their children above a hump and move on to a a different life. It may be another cylcle, but at least away from poverty.

I don't believe in the concept of "cycles". As humans,we have the capacity to rationally think and make logical decisions. People who attribute their nature to "cycles" are simply making an excuse not to make the effort and do the right thing. We always have the capacity to change for the better if we really wanted to. For example, my dad is a boss and businessman, he has always been quick to temper and like to shout at people, especially me. Rather than take after him, i decided to learn from my experiences and his mistakes, and so i became a soft spoken person.

i've known of children who had abusive parents who also turned out to be abusers when they became adults themselves. it's sad. i also know people i've been close with in the past who experienced different forms of parental abuse. one was very vocal about his anger at his father. he carried that anger and resentment for many years, you would think that he would never do the same to his own child--but he did. the other person i know went the opposite path and chose to live a different and better life from what she experienced from her childhood. personally, i believe we can always make a better choice, even if the "potential" for the cycle of abuse is strong.

I think we all have the potential to fall into the cycle but if you fight it you can stand clear of it. I know my parents would hit us with the belt or make us stand in the corner as punishment. I swore I would never do this to my kids and I didn't. I think I gave my daughters alot more love and understanding then my parents did when I was young. They had five kids and I guess its what they learned from their parents. However, I'm glad I was strong enough not to follow their cycle of raising kids. My two daughters grew up to be beautiful law abiding citizens with a lot of love in their hearts. I think you have to be a leader and not a follower to break free of any type of bad cycle that you endured.