WHICH ONE IS BETTER - LISTENER or TALKER
@astryfernandy (66)
Philippines
April 27, 2011 2:14pm CST
there are two types of person in this world when it comes to communicating with others. one is the Listener and another is Talker.
Listeners usually are quite and seems like a wise person and can be a good source for advice (many people say so),
while Talkers usually are very expressive and very open to others. everywhere and every time they have the chance they will start expressing their feelings to anyone nearby (sometimes even to strangers, and because they seem to talk too much, people tend to get scared to actually tell a talker their problems, because talkers are usually seems "not wise", "too emotionally involved" and off course "hard to keep up a secret".(again many people say so)..
My wonder is, IS IT REALLY LIKE THAT?
A LISTENER IS "WISE" AND A TALKER IS "IMPOSSIBLE TO KEEP SECRETS" ????
WHAT DO YOU THINK GUYS?
xoxo
Astry Fernandy
2 people like this
21 responses
@krajibg (11922)
• Guwahati, India
27 Apr 11
Hi astryfernandy,
Of course thee are people who like to talk more or by nature more talkative and others are silent or somber (not necessarily good listeners.)
To be talkative is comparatively easy but to be really a good listener is difficult. If I am to answer your question I must say listeners are better for only after hearing others in detail you can find out solution or give a counseling. Incoherent talkers are often made fun of.
@krajibg (11922)
• Guwahati, India
29 Apr 11
Exactly. You find people of either nature when you travel in public bus or local train. If you are alone and have taken the window side its comfortable to you to pay heed the rest of the people or one or two of them would start talking in such a way that it becomes like the "stream of consciousness" novels of James Joyce.
They would start with the weather and end with why in the Royal wedding Obama was not invited and more. They even do not care who you are and if you were irritated by their witty talks.
@astryfernandy (66)
• Philippines
28 Apr 11
good day krajibg.
I totally agree with what you wrote. there are people who by nature more talkative and more of a somber.
for me talking too much to others will make them easily see your characters and if the one you are talking your hearts out with is not a wise person, it could lead you to another problems later on.
being a listener is not so easy. why are we listening to others? sometimes we listen because we are forced to, some other time we listen because we care. I believe when we listen to others and try to learn from their problems or stories, you'll find yourself learn a lot. Especially in wisdom.
@taski24 (214)
• Philippines
28 Apr 11
The listener is king.
There's this saying: "He who keeps his mouth shut can be considered a wise man".
Can you keep count of the heartaches and pains that have been caused by the words coming from our mouth? Have you come into the realization that a lot of relationship failures could have been avoided if one or the other learned how to keep his/her mouth shut?
As Ecclesiastes said, there is a time for everything. He mentioned also, there is a time to speak and a time to listen.
Are you familiar with Aesop's parable about the best and worst dishes he served the king? You're not?
Try to research it. You'll learn a lot from it.
@astryfernandy (66)
• Philippines
28 Apr 11
Hi taski24,...
not all that keep his mouth shut is wise. sometimes they just do not care at all.
and not all talkers speak up bad things. some of them are just happy to share their experiences. the only problem is sometimes they talk too much..:)
@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
28 Apr 11
i believe listener is much better than talker... to be a good listener is not an easy thing to do... take care and have a nice day...
@astryfernandy (66)
• Philippines
28 Apr 11
Thanks lingli_78.
Simple answer but nice one! being a listener is much harder, you need the patience to actually really listening to someone, especially when you feel that the problems he/she talks about is nonsense.
@tiina05 (2317)
• Philippines
28 Apr 11
hello,
I am a talker and the same time a listener. Why? because i always express what really I feel and they usually laugh when I am talking, I like speaking to others. ha ha. but there are times that i got serious specially if they have problems, they told me there secret and I advice them. Of course even we fight or even if we have misunderstanding to each other I am not telling what are their secrets because they trust me to keep it. Well, I just know whats my limitations when I am talking and talking.
@astryfernandy (66)
• Philippines
28 Apr 11
hi again Tiina05,
nice attitude you have there Tiina, keep it up girl.
try to be a good listener and you'll find yourself learning a lot from other's problems. I did that too. Everytime someone's talking to me and pouring his/her out to me, i would try to give my best advice. and later on when I am on my own, i usually think about it again, and try to put it on myself.
What if I'm the one having the problems? would I do what I advice to them?
and I called that the 'Natural learning process"
have a good day Tiina
@astryfernandy (66)
• Philippines
28 Apr 11
hi there,
i believe it so. everything in balance will do good. but it's not easy to get it balanced tough. for those who are having problems expressing their feeling, talking to others might make them uncomfortable and on the other side, those who are simple, usually find that listening to other's problem quite irritating.
@iklananda (1202)
•
28 Apr 11
None of both is very bad or very good. The best think is to keep it balance
@astryfernandy (66)
• Philippines
28 Apr 11
Hi Iklananda...
Well off course none of it is very bad or very good. everything comes with its own negative and positive. to keep it balance is the good way, but the problem is, it's not easy to be both and balance.
@thaMARKER (2503)
• Philippines
28 Apr 11
i'm more of the listener type but i always try to be the talker whenever actually. i like to express my thoughts sometimes but most of the time i prefer keepin it cause what i say is what just want to say. if people dont get it, i dont like elaborating it. hehehe..
plus, i dont have much to share base from my experiences cause am a laidback kind of person. nothing biggy happens to me in a year. hahaha..
@astryfernandy (66)
• Philippines
28 Apr 11
hi there,..
you know what? may be you should write down what you feel or what you are thinking in a blog or something. To me, sometimes when i have problems, I will browse the internet and reading people's thought on things. And somehow I will just find the answers to my problems, without have to put it out to others.
@eurekafemme (5876)
• Philippines
27 Apr 11
Hello there.
I am both a talker and a listener. But that depends on the circumstances. There are times that I'd only lend and ear and would give another person to do the talking especially when that person is longing to share something really emotionally deep. They say I am a good listener and I do give sensible advice. That is according to my friends' opinion.
However, there are also moments when I want to share what I feel and what i think. Sometimes, I couldn't help talking especially when there is something that's bothering me. I just have to unleash and let it out or else I'll be darn going crazy.
But, no. I do not share to my friends what other people share with me especially those that are too personal. I keep them to myself. Not even my husband or closest friends will know that. Their secrets are safe with me.
Perhaps , this depends upon a person really. XXX
@astryfernandy (66)
• Philippines
28 Apr 11
Hello there.
I am not much of a talker nor listener, but to choose between the two, i would choose i'm better at listening rather than talking.
i don't mean that I don't like talking, I DO, but listening and giving out advices are much more fun to me.
According to my friends, they say that I am a good listener, and wise :P, but when it comes to my own problems, i would be a very bad talker and hard to accept advices from others (not listening to others).
My own opinion is actually different to my friends. basically I believe that by listening to much to others, you would not get what you need, instead the will confuse you even more. so if i have problems, I usually talk only to my best friend and another 1 friend, and that's it.
when my other friends ask me what's the problem? and I say nothing, then that's when the judgement comes out, that i am not a good listener and talker when it comes to my own problems.
@sender621 (14893)
• United States
27 Apr 11
I don't know that one is acutally better than the other one. I am sure we can all be talkers when the mood strikes us. It take a particular ear to to a listener when the time is right.
@astryfernandy (66)
• Philippines
28 Apr 11
hi sender621.
I really think that listener and talker are both good in a positive way, but personally thinking, people who are able to listen to others usually are wiser when it comes to talking and giving advices
@SIMPLYD (90721)
• Philippines
28 Apr 11
One can be a talker and a listener at the same time.
For me, i could be both and it depends on the person i am with. If they are my closest friends, i could be a listener first to their problems and a talker later, to give my opinions when solicited for .
@astryfernandy (66)
• Philippines
28 Apr 11
hi simplyd, like your user name, i bet you are a simple person. :)
that's true tough what you said about one can be a talker as well as a listener.
But which one do you think is easier? being a talker or a listener?
Talking is quite easy when you are saying what you feel, but listening to what others feel, that's quite hard, especially if we do not think that what he/she's saying is actually a big problem.
@sinawaliboy (271)
• Philippines
22 May 11
Being a listener and a talker is very important in the flow of communication. But one must know when he or she should as either of the 2. You have to be sensitive to the other party during the communication period. Being wise would depend on the person, not on his/her role in the communication process.
@LeighAnne93 (129)
•
27 Apr 11
I don't think it's necessarily split into these two. I think you can be a combination of both, if you're intuitive and know when you need to listen and when to talk to everyone like you usually do. There's nothing wrong with either type of person, but if you're asking which is better then tbh it's neither. Someone who never listens to you but just talks would get frustrating. Someone who always listens to what you have to say, but doesn't really get involved in the conversation can be just as bad. A mix of both is perfect :)
Oh and talkers can keep secrets as well, there's a difference between being untrustworthy and just liking to talk.
@astryfernandy (66)
• Philippines
28 Apr 11
Hi there,..
thanks for the nice comments. it is interesting how you mention about someone who never listens to you but just talks and someone who always listens but doesn't really get involved are both bad.
So the point is if you are a listener, be a good one. not only listen but also be involved in the conversation, and if you are a talker, try not to take over the whole discussion on your part. that way both parties get the same satisfaction.
@lexilex (7)
•
28 Apr 11
Yes, it is true that it would be better if you acquire good skills in both in the talking and listening area. But if i would have to choose between the two, i would choose as the listener. Because as a listener, it entails more patience to accept all the ideas coming from the talker. It takes a humble heart to give way for others to speak and listen to their concerns. And most importantly, i would rather listen to someone who expresses all her problems than I would be the one talking with lots of problems. Being a listener would mean that you have the ability to understand and empathize with the situation of others and not just think of your own self.
@astryfernandy (66)
• Philippines
28 Apr 11
hi lexilex..
have a good day there. how about if you have a problem? do you prefer to talk to others, or you just keep it quite and try to solve it yourself?
i have to agree with you, that to be a good listener you have to have the patience, because sometimes you find that "oh My God, this is so boring". without the patience, i don't think we can be a good listener. especially when we listen to a real TALKER.
@AngelHope2011 (199)
• United States
13 May 11
You have a very good question. A lot of people ponder at this question. I personally feel that a combination of the two would make a very good person to be around. Although it's good that a listener hears the problem of their family and friends and it's good that a talker expresses their problems or thoughts to their families and friends. Although I don't know how a talker can keep a secret if someone told them but if someone were to tell someone who talked too much a secret and then they blab it out then that person would be seen as a big mouth. In a sense they're right and I guess that person just doesn't know how to keep a secret. But if you really want the best opinion of this try asking someone you know who's a talker and someone you know who's a listener. Trust me, their answers will differ.
@maunesrockford92078 (305)
• Philippines
28 Apr 11
It is still human to become a listener first in any situation a talker comes when it is time to say something about ideas that has already been comprehend, I think people should always listen before assuming the pose for debating and arguing. Yes people sometimes overwhelmed by such thoughts will result to tactlessness in some way but the virtue to listen in the parlance of comprehending is one thing.
@ofabiania (421)
• Philippines
30 Apr 11
for me, it does not necessarily follow.. like for myself, i can be talker at times but that does not mean i can't be trusted since i can also be a listener.. i believe too much of everything is bad.. we should learn when to speak and when to listen.. :)
@tonyleather (17)
•
28 Apr 11
I think that listening is very important, as long as you really pay attention to what is being said. I have found, over the years, that the person who listens to, and hears what others are saying tends not to need to do much talking themselves, and keeping to the point of the discussion is always the correct way to behave. My vote would have to go to the listener, because it is only in letting someone have their say that you discover what is really on the mind of the person talking, which is often not what the conversation covers at first, until they know that you really are paying attention.
@oninomar (505)
• Philippines
28 Apr 11
Listener! because I belong this kind of people..^__^ As you have said listeners are wise people...hmmm.. They only speak on the right time and a right way. They are more sensitive to what other people feels, they observe the situation on when to talk and to say an opinion. Talkers are reckless in their words. That's all!.:)
@nezavisima (7408)
• Bulgaria
29 Apr 11
I think that to keep a secret depends on the person Anne of whether a talker or listener.Still and talker and listeners have their positive and negative qualities.Should prices to the person you want to share your secret.