Woman hate mother inlaw

i salute the women here who posted that they love their MIL. i wish my wife could say the same thing. it breaks my heart when i see both of them arguing over petty things. i love both of them. they are both important in my life. but i fear that one day one of them will leave me for good. my mother live with us. she is old and i'm her only child. i could not bear to think to put her in a nursing home nor would i ever kick her out on the street to fend for herself. i believe that the key to this kind of relationship between wife and mother-in-law is love. without love they will never bear or forgive each other. personally, i just realize that there is no love on my wife's part toward my mother. My heart is breaking because of this.

My mother in law lives with us and for the most part it is a goof thing. Once in awhile, we have a bad day, but overall we all know our roles in the house and try to stick to them. My husband told me from day one that his mother was important to him and my family is important to me, so we try to compromise and do what is best for everyone. I think everyone has to work at it if you want it to be a good thing. Best wishes !

Actually I've always thought it was the other way around, that men don't like mother-laws. In fact over here it's was well know that "mothers" didn't like most of the men there children fallen in love with. Which is why there are so many comides regarding mother inlaw relationships. ~Joey

sorry to say but i would prefer to live in another house without my mother in law if i get married in the future.i had a bad memory regarding this.when i was 1 year old my family live with MIL. but she was such a bad person.she tortured my mother every day.she did not let my family watch the television and sit on the sofa eventhough my father bought everything.she would chased us to the room.she always scolded my mother with dirty words. even when my mother was pregnant she would ask my mother to do all the heavy things.she wouldn't help anything.once she even threathened my mother with a knife.my father saw it and stopped her. one day my mother couldn't stand it anymore so she took us back to her parents house.then my father came and beg my mother.after that my father rent a house and we started to live on our own.eventhough at first we did not have anything but we were happy.my father hate his mother too.she is very cruel lady. and now she already passed away so it is over.that is why i do not want to be like my mother

It is a very difficult situation to understand. A mom has been in a son's life as long as he has been alive and a wife comes along and wants the husband's whole heart and commitment to be to her. Both women are naturally going to feel threatened by the other. Neither woman is right or wrong in their feels. I think it is best that the husband not try to referee the womens relationship but rather allow them to work it out on their own.

yes,women folks can give some insight.

I think you are generalising the issue here. I have problems with my ma in la troo but i also know that whenit comes to taking care of her , I will do it for her. here you have to be firm and tell your wife clearly that you are going to take care of you mom despite her problems with her. My hubby never interferes between us, I do not let him. She is very dominating as a person but I know that she is just scared that she will loose the control of the house if she is not so strict. I made a promise to myself that I will never reply back to her and I have till date kept that promise. I have told my hubby too that no matter what happens I will take care of her when she need me to. I think after so many years she has started to realise this too. As last month she actually was praising me, I was happy beyond belief. So I guees it took time but my silence has won her heart at last.

Please do not blame to all the women. There are few who hate their mother-in-law. It is because of indifferences of opinion. In such cases it is better to separate to make the life happy from both sides. It is also due to family background, parenting, home education, disrespect to each other etc. Few MIL are also of rude and arrogant nature, they can be only controlled by harsh words. If there is difference of opinion, it is suggested to live a separate life. Financial help can be given. At least there will be mental peace. Sometimes kids also become a reason for haterd.

Usually every flaw a woman sees in her spouse gets blamed on the mother. If she had only taught him to ( insert a multitude of words like put the toilet seat down, make the bed, ect). Also you as the daughter in-law will never be good enough for her precious boy just as I am sure my future daughter in-law will not live up to my expectations.LOL Thank god she doesn't exist yet LOL

I dont hate my mother in-law, but i feel that the way my house is run, the way i cook, clean and raise my child/children, and the way i interact with my husband shouldnt concern her any. She has had her chance to raise her kids and live her life the way she has wanted to, so why shouldn't i have the same option. I am grateful my MIL lives over 2000 miles away too cause she sure is a nosey one! Maybe your wife feels the same way.

Well, first of all, there isn't as much stress in America on the mother in law living with her son's family so she can take care of the children. Second, what woman wants to spend her entire marriage competing with her son's mother for her son's attention? There's nothing worse than a doting mother standing around telling a woman how she could better serve her husband's needs, or better please him by doing things this way or that. Personally, I don't hate my mother-in-law, but if I had to live with her, I think that might change.

in china ,mother father son daughter-in-law live together . if the family are divided,the son'll be called unfealty

I don't think all woman hate mother inlaw. At least, I love my mother inlaw,and she treat me very well,just like my mother. I think we can keep good relationship with mother inlaw,just love her firstly.

not all woman hate their mother inlaw right? i think your that point of view is kind of general ... erm.. okay.. well, in my opinion.. why do women hate their mother in law is because they have an irritating mother in law? or maybe they want to make their own decision.. have their own life.. it's just the same case with teenagers disobeying their parents isn't it? when you want to be yourself, have your opinions being respected.. and have your own lifestyle.. you tend to go against any changes that others try to make into you.. i think women hate their mother in law mostly is due to such reason.. please correct me if i'm wrong =)

You are not alone. I love my mother-in-law. But I understand why others don't. Some mother-in-law tend to be jealous especially when you marry a mama's boy. Also there are mother-in-laws who tend to compare your parenting methods and being a wife to how they did it and most of the time, you seem to appear to them as the inferior one. Some even get angery at their mother-in-law for not respecting how you discipline your children and criticize you and the things that you are teaching your children. Not all mother-in-laws are like that and I am really lucky because I didn't have any of those problems with mine. Because when you do encounter those, you will come to hate her as time passes.

No, not all women hate their MIL. One thing with women is that they tend to have ego clash. the mother will be claiming ownership of the son and the wife claiming ownership. why is it we dont have father-inlaw problems? Is it that our men dont have fathers? Most times, if your mother doesnot like your wife from inception, its always a problem and it will be had for the wife to please her. I dont really buy the idea of living in the same house with your MIL, the man should endeavour to get a separate accomodation for her, provide a helper and give her monthly allowance, atleast it will save him the troubles in the home. and they tend to relate better when they are living apart. Familarity they say brings contempt.

I think you are taking one person's experience and generalizing it. Remember that not only women are portrayed to have bad experiences with their MIL but men are also almost always teased about not getting along with their MIL. However, I find that this is n exaggeration basing from my own experience and the experience of my friends and other people I know. There are certain family dynamics that only the involved can understand. I cannot give my opinion on this particular situation because there's much to be known about this relationship you mentioned. I will say however that like the previous posts above me, I do not hate my MIL. I appreciate her very much. We have bad days every now and then but at the end of the day, we just don't think about it anymore.

It's not easy for two women getting together happily all the time. Though I'm still single, I have read and saw so many unhappy wives and their mothers-in-law. They are sensitive and they all love one man who is always in a dilemma in two women's quarrel. Since they all love one man, I think they should consider his thoughts and if both stepped back their family will be in a harmony.

maybe they have some misunderstanding.lets discuss for better

yes it is true that women hates there mother inlaws this happens because the women to whom we marry and bring home thinks nobody should interfear between them.but the mother who had taken care of his son since childhood wants the help of her son in oldage.the need of both mother and wife can be fulfilled by living together peacefully.