How Do You Handle A Chronic Complainer?

That's a tough one! I usually try to stay away from them by either leaving the room or by taking th eopposing position on what they are complaining about. I don't have to truly believe what I am saying but this seems to be the only way they find your being a good listener inadequate. When you actively take the side that is against their complaint, they look for others who are more likely to be sympathetic.

I usually enjoy listening to them, they need someone to talk to and although I am not a psychyotrist, I like to think I am a good listener and have good advice. They are probably in the need of a therapist to talk of their problems, and I will usually suggest that. There is nothing wrong with therapy, even I go, so I know how much it can help. To be honest though, not many people complain to me, probably because I may be the complainer.

Here, we call these people sympathy seekers. If somebody complains once or even twice to me, I will listen, to the point where the story starts repeating itself, then I will change the subject. I never walk away from, or avoid them, because that's just not my way. I guess we all complain about something from time to time, and if somebody walked away from me whilst I was doing so, I would be most hurt. I seem to attract them as well, and when I asked this kid one day, what made him come to me, he said it was something he could never talk to his parents or kids about and I seemed like a person he could always come to in that situation, knowing I would listen and deal with it in my best capacity... I'm Libra and non-judgmental, and I like to weigh things up and balance them. Maybe that's the reason I appear to be so receptive to them. lol.

I have only one line funny answer: I will handle a chrocic complainer becoming as a chronic lidtener!

I understand completely. I too am a good listener and I have a friend that complians about everything. It literally makes me sick, so sometimes I have to tell her that I need a break from her. It is kind of hard because we live in the same building. The thing that makes it so sickening to me is that I will listen and give a good suggestion, that I know will work. She will come up with a lame excuse about why it wont work and then contunie to complain. So, then I'll bust my brain to come up with something else to cancel out her excuse and then she gets an attitude with me and says this is my problem and I can work it out myself. And I am thinking, then while do you keep complaining to me. Then, I will tell her straight out to stop talking to me about it. She makes an easy situation very complicated, just so she can continue to complain. The first chance I get, I get away from her for a while. And she will repeat the same thing over and over again.

I can so relate to what you're saying. And what's worse than a chronic complainer? A chronic complainer who complains about the same thing over and over and over again. I mean I can listen to you one time but if I have to listen to the same thing again in a span of 1 hour? and again 1 hour after that? I just roll my eyes and try to get away! LOL! If I can't get away, I try to listen for the first few minutes and then excuse myself in a way that would not offend them.

Sometimes people tell me that I complain a lot or whine, but I don't think I do really. What I do is when its quiet and no one's talking it makes me nervous so I tend to just say whatever I think of. Sometimes that may be a complaint about how cold it is or whatever. I do unfortunately have to deal with people who complain a lot about things that don't matter at all and don't want to do anything about them. I think that is worse than just little complaints. Like complaining about someone that completely annoys you than being nice to their face. I usually just ignore people like that because there isn't much else to do.

I start out listening than I change the subject a lot.

Agree with them when you are in a good mood. Slam them now when you are in a bad mood. Avoid them when you are not free. :P