Am I wrong? OR Was this Rude!

I've worked in nursing for years. At every hospital I have worked at, it was always policy NOT to encourage family members to sleep in the same bed as a patient for numerous reasons stemming from safety to health related. However in some units, it is possible to get a sleeping chair wheeled into the room so that the loved one can stay with the patient and not get in the way of cares the nursing and medical staff have to take care of. For example, during the night Doctors order certain blood works to be done, and you have to go into the room and deal with the family member that is sleeping in the same bed as the patient in order to get to the patient, whereas, if the loved one is sleeping in the sleeping chair you can do what needs to be done without disturbing the family member that may be staying over. Also, there is a thing called right to privacy and if the room is not a private room there might be other patients in the room and they have the right to not to have that type of situation in their room. This is why most hospitals have strict visiting hours so that all patients rights can be protected and respected, because what you may think is okay another patient sharing your room may not. I've been in the hospital several times, and personally I hate being bothered when I am sick and usually send my husband home--I want to sleep and get rest I don't need him there hoovering over me LOL. He on the other hand hates hospitals, and since I am in the nursing field he makes me stay, but I usually ask for them to wheel in a sleeping chair and that is only if the room doesn't have another patient in it, otherwise I stay until visiting hours are over for the night and go home. I guess rule of thumb is check the hospital policy, but I am pretty sure they are standard rules--there are visiting hours for a reason, mainly so that the nursing and medical staff can get the cares required done without interruptions that do indeed come from family members. I had one instance where a girlfriend of a patient decided to sneak and stay after visiting hours were over, and guess what we nursing staff walked in on them doing???? Very awkward and inconvenient to say the least. Not saying you were doing any of that, but this is why they have rules it protects both the patient and the staff. You'll see when you are working in a hospital and you are trying to get your cares and meds passed out and have to deal with certain family members that can really be rude. Don't take what they did personal. If you are ever in this situation again, ask if they have a sleeping chair that can be wheeled in for you to use this way you can stay close to your husband. And if they have a strict policy against it, respect the reasons why those policies are in place.

I dont think it was the appropate thing to do.Its fine that you stayed with him at his bedside, but I think the bed cuddling should be saved for home.It is not a hotel it is a hospital.once you get your nursing degree and have some time in a hospital you may change your mind about how you feel,maby not but its just my opinion.

That is weird! I haven't done this but I can see why you would. And I have seen others do it too. If everything is hooked up correctly and you weren't lying on anything vital - what's the big deal? It's not you could catch whatever it was / is that he had. What did you say to the nurse? How did you handle the situation?

Two years ago my partner was hit by a car and suffered serious internal injuries. I was at his bedside within an hour and stayed at the hospital for almost a week. I was allowed to sleep in a recliner chair next to his bed, so I was there with him all the time. I also helped out with the *nursing* and made myself useful to the staff on the ward in various ways. Ok, so I wasn't sleeping in his bed, but I was there with him and the doctor was more than happier for me to be with him.

I think it all depends on WHY the person is in the Hospital. When the mother of my children was in Hospital she did not want to even be touched. When I was in hospital for heart stuff I didn't want anyone at all around me. Hospitals should be responsive to the patient's needs. NOT the family members. Did you ask you Hubby if HE wanted you there? Did you give him the freedom to say "No"? It is not always true that our spouse wants what we want. Ask first: sleep after.

I think it's okey if u do that. It's a good manner for both of u to express your concern to each other. In my opinion,they were jealous when they saw two "love-birds"^_^.

Oh my gosh! I think you are rightfully angry!!!!! I would have been so flaming if they would have told me to get out of bed with my son!!! Yes, it is a natural thing to want to curl up with the loved one that is ill or hurting. It is like was want to take them into our arms and shelter them from harm while also giving them our healing energies. And vice versa! If I am ill or in pain, I would want my partner to take me into the shelter of his body and hold me to comfort me! Even if he can do nothing else, that simple act of love and shelter gentles the pain. When my son was injured a few years ago, I so badly wanted to crawl into bed with him...but because he was in traction, I was not able to. But you can bet that when he was finally put in a body cast, rough cast and all, I crawled up to my baby and held him!!! Even when he was injured and we could not be in bed with him, he would pull us down to him and just hold us against his head and chest. We had such backaches from bending over for hours!!! But he is what he and we needed. That physical touch! The holding! Or how about when my son had surgery? He was not able to talk and felt horrible when he came out. And as soon as he was taken to recovery, I crawled into bed with him and curled him up into the shelter of my arms and body! I felt so good to be able to hold him and even though he could not talk, I knew he felt it too by the way he stroked my arms that were holding him. Mind you...he was only 4 yrs old. And when the doctor came in to check up on him, he didn't say a thing!!!! There are so many examples I could give. I don't think I could have held my tongue if the doctor would have said something to me. And I think I would be raising a stink with the hospital. Because when we are sick...we need those that we love and we need that physical contact. Now...go beat them up Princeworthy!!!!

Where I am from these rules are very strict. They will accomodate you with a cot or chair to sleep in. I am sure if they found a husband and wife in bed nothing would be said unless your being there caused a problem with his recovery. I think here in the South they are more afraid of Hanky Panky happening in the hospital bed than anyone getting hurt. It is just the respectful thing to do here. They feel the patient needs time to heal without outside interference. You say the nurse told you that the Doctor asked your husband about you sleeping in the bed. This is confusing to me. If that was the case why didn't your husband mention it, why is she telling you this, why didn't the Doctor confront you. It sounds like the nurse had the problem and wanted to blame the Dr. I know the Drs. never say much at all to the patients about anything other than their recovery prognosis. I would have been upset getting the news from a nurse the way you did. I would ignore it and do what I have always done and wait for the Dr. to approach me if there really is a problem.

to be honest, I have never heard of a wife sleeping in the hospital bed with her husband, I heard of them putting out a special cot for her but I have never heard of being in the same bed.

Well there are pro's and con's on this discussion I see. My comedic thought comes to mind. FOr the amount of money they get for those rooms and their services I would think you could do what you darn well want and should get meals and room service at your request! But in serious thought - it is a policy for a reason. Should there have been or ever be complications it's a huge OUT for them to say you were in the way or you must have slept on a cord or tube or whatever.... so be careful. There's a a time and a place and maybe the hospital is not that place? I am not a rules person so don't misunderstand what I am saying and I am on THeir side. I am really on your side but want to make sure your protected in the event of an emergency or need asap.

i dont think it is forbidden to sleep in the bed with the patient especially if its your love ones..but maybe they avoid mistaken identity on the hospital lol!

When my husband was in the hospital a while ago first they wouldn't let me in the room, even though I'm his wife, and i fought tooth and nail, then, the bed he was in was a little small, i wouldn't have had any room to be in there with him, but i would have in a heartbeat just to make sure i was close enough to him... I had to have a doctor bring me a chair, and it was one of those hard plastic ones, and that was after me standing for about 4 hours by his bedside. After i sat down i fell asleep with my head in the bed with him, resting against his hand and hip, and i wish there was a way to be closer to him, but the doctors didn't like it much me doing that either, they kept telling me i should go home, uh NO my husband is in the hospital, and uh, i don't know what's wrong with him, uh yeah, I'm staying... If i was a doc or nurse i would allow it all the way, they don't seem to understand how much someone needs to be next to the one they love in times like that...

I think it's great that you're staying by his side! I also don't get why they are making a big deal about this. Some people are just prudes and don't even touch their spouses, so maybe that's why they are having a problem. That's really sad!

it's not wrong.. maybe the nurse misunderstood you for doing immoral activities.. i hope you get what i mean.... healing touch does exist.. if i were you.. i believe i will do the same for the one i love.. you know.. there's nothing can stop a pure love.. if you do love your husband.. of course you want to be with him when he's weak right? you can't leave someone tht you love in pain.. isn't it? sometimes the hospital staff just don't understand.. or maybe.. it's in the rules of the hospital not to allow others to share bed with the patient.. could it be that they're afraid you might contract the illness from your husband? :)

I have never heard of any hospital letting anyone beign able to sleep in the same bed as the patient..i dont think ive even seen in on tv lol..but honeslty i dont see why it would have hurt anything to have you beside him..as long as he didnt have wires and hooked up tot abunch of machines that if u layed down it could have shut it off..anywho..but if i could i would as well..i tried when my son was one and he had surgery and i wanted to and i wasnt aloud..and that made me sad,,but if i could i would..so i see nothing wrong with what you did..and i think they were acting stupid..

I think as long as you and your partner are comfortable with it there shouldnt be a problem. some people just dont have anything interesting in their lives so they have to complain about every little freeking thing! I am on your side. If it was possible i would like to have my hubby in the bed with me. Last time i was in the hospital it was not possible because i had a c section, so that would have hurt alot and i couldnt move around and i had an i v and cathader, it just wasn't possible. but I would haev liked to have him close to comfort me and hug me :)

I don't see what the problem was, you did the right thing by getting out of the way when you needed to, your husband wanted you to. Some doctors and nurses will get funny over anything, they obviously didn't care that the patient wanted this. Like you said not all the nurses cared, it's just unfortunate that you came across the one that did.

actually i cant tell you if its proper or not,,i dont know exactly the rules but my kid was hospitalized and it was my mom who watched him and shes sleeping beside my kid and nobody stopped her..

I think that the nurse was concerned both for your husbands safety and yours, It is very possible to fall out of a hospital bed and get injured I had a relative that managed to break a hip from falling out of a hospital bed. Also if your husband is well enough to want you in bed with him, maybe he is well enough to have outpatient care. Also I have had a lot of experience with hospital beds and they are not as comfortable for two as for one, For me it was better for my husband to stay beside me in the recliner and hold my hand. Some times I just wanted him near me not holding my hand, but then I had a lot of iv's and other attachments. and I was not really wanting to do anything but either sleep or go home and sleep. I think that in my personal opinion it is best not to try to share the same hospital beds due to liablity issues and the fact one or both of you could get hurt, never a good thing, Anyway, I hope your husband is feeling much better now, and that he's home and does not have to go stay in any hospitals again for a long long time.

I believe you were in the right. It's not as though you two were bangin' away on each other in front of people. I think if he wants you there by his side, in the bed, by all means. What could be the harm? I think whoever was badgering you isn't happy and they are just upset because they don't have a strong relationship like that and they were jealous and didn't want you and your husband to be happy.