Parenting 101 - Your daily dose of RAH

I agree with some of what is said here. However, I think the emphasis is being taken off of losing and just trying your best, which is really a better reinforcement for kids. Otherwise, I have to agree that children are treated more gingerly now than we were growing up. I think discipline got mixed up with punishment and many parents don't do either, which will have a negative outcome in the long run.

One thing you'll find out about me quickly is that I can't help but try to see all points of view on any given topic. I'm not sure if it's my nature to be contrary or open minded. I'm going to break down my reply since you brought up a few examples... Regarding the trophies. My children are active in sports, so I've heard that complaint/question/argument about trophies. I hear what your saying but perhaps they've begun rewarding everyone as a form of positive reinforcement. What's wrong with commending the kids simply for coming out and trying? How many kids don't come out? How many kids just stay home and play video games? I understand the quote and I do agree with it on some levels. I do think that if you give a child everything and do not teach them that you need to earn certain things, you will handicap them. People do need to earn their way in this world. If a child isn't taught that, they will be in for a rude awakening when their parents aren't there in the future. As far as the grading system? lol Don't get me started on the school system! Actually, right now I'm frustrated with the school system. I've had issues with my own child but I also think that's its next to impossible to accomadate the huge range of children that go through the system. Again, I think expanding the grading scale is a way to include and credit the wide range of students going through the system. The fact is, we do have overachievers and we do have kids who are more challenged. I don't think that giving a child good grades when they haven't earned them is a good thing, but I also don't thing that degrading a child and making them feel like a failure when they are struggling is the answer either. Did I get off topic? If I did I'm sorry. I just happen to have children on both sides of the spectrum. It's hard to watch a child get down on himself when he can't live up to his teachers expectations and think of himself as stupid. You can teach a child to figure things out for themselves and to earn things but sometimes I do think its okay to give them a helping hand. I think everyone needs that from time to time. Also, I think oftentimes parents give their children to much to make up for what they may have been lacking in their own childhoods.

Oh, what a can of worms... I have three kids. The elder two have chores. Not much. Feed the dog, do the dishes every night (using a dishwasher, even). Every other day they take out the kitchen compost bucket to the compost heap. Keep their own room clean. Occassionally help clean parts of the house. Naturally, they complain endlessly about it, say they don't have time for homework, that sort of thing. But they are required to do these things anyway. In the summer they will have more, as they will have an area of responsibility in the garden as well. Despite their arguments, I believe that having these chores are very important to their development. They do need to be able to do these things on their own. Now's the time to learn. I encourage them to work out any problems on their own, though I certainly help if the problem is beyond them. "Come on, use your brain for more than homework," is often heard in my house. They get great grades... I also discipline ("punish" if you want) my children. Usually it is a taking away a priviledge, like watching television or playing on the XBox. On very rare occassions it entails a physical reinforcement. By rare, I mean the last one was about two years ago. The children know that we WILL administer a spanking if warranted. They also know that they'd have to do something pretty bad to warrant a spanking. As a result, I have fairly well disciplined children. They are able to manage their time, do well in school, and still have time for fun. I'm hoping this will carry over when they are no longer protected by me or my husband. That day will come. I want them to be prepared. Too many children today, who do not know any hardship, or work, or discipline, have no coping skills when they get out on their own. To quote Bill Gates, "Life isn't fair, get used to it." I want my children to understand that and deal with it in a possitive way. They won't if they don't get a little of the unfair ("I don't care if you did it yesterday. You are doing it now.") while young.