From superwoman to kept woman

I think many successful women choose to be mistresses rather than wives as they feel having a full time partner/husband will stifle them and prevent them from moving up the career ladder. It's a sad fact that women who get married and have kids find it difficult to get to the top of their chosen industry. This is why many of the most successful women I've known in my career so far have been either divorced or single or married with no kids. One such woman (worth about £80 million) was married and had adopted children who she had an army of people to look after the kids but she never took time out of work to give birth or rear children herself. Of course it doesn't apply to men, does it? Because men are not expected to (nor do they physically have to) take time off work to give birth and then nurture their kids. My mum has looked after other people's kids for years. The mothers of these kids have good jobs and have often returned to work after their child turned 3 months old. Never has one of these career women managed to make it to the top, why? Because they took time off for their families. Therefore it seems only natural that women who want to get to the top forsake having children and full time relationships in favour of being a mistress, someone's bit on the side so she doesn't have to pander to a man's demands or wishes. If that's what makes them happy then fair enough but they can just keep their hands off my hubby or I'll scratch their eyes out LOL!

hi ellie, I've often wondered about that too. They are successful and have high ranks in their career but when it comes to love and relationship..... their down in the drains. I know love can make you do stupid things that you'll regret later. But this career women are sometimes my idol because they have gone and done so much.... I even envy them. But why, oh why they settle to be THE OTHER WOMAN and wreck the lives of many families.

I don't understand it, I could never be someone's mistress. I have to be the only woman in his life, or nothing to him. If he cheats on me I'm out, if he's married before he meets me, I'm out. I will not share a man.

Some women are attracted to unavailable men because they have low self-esteem, or they don't want responsibility, or they fear commitment. When you have a relationship like that, you go into it knowing that you will never be his only one. It's kind of a safety net - if you know that you'll never be the first and only woman in his life, you never have to meet such a high standard. Quite frankly, I think women who are happy as mistresses are innately weak with skewed priorities.

I know this is a late comment since I am a new member. But I just want to share my thoughts and what I have learned to you on this page. Based on experience and what I've learned, they usually say that these super achievers are brilliant when it comes to logic but they are usually emotional when it comes to love. When I was still studying...several " intelligent" students in our class became pregnant. Some say they may be intelligent but love relationships are not usually their forte. For super achievers, like you see women in their late 20's, earl 30's....even if they already have the power and money on their own, they still got involved with married men. In my own opinion, aside from falling in love with those men, I think the reason why they got involved with married men is that they have a high preference for men...and guess who fits their preference??? of course the married men! they would prefer, the stable, established and accomplished men and they are usually married! I don't believe that to say that they are content to be mistresses, I believe they also dream of getting married someday...whether their married partner has promised her that he will divorce/annul his marriage or maybe find a bachelor who fits her preferences. It's usually a case to case basis. Sorry for the long comment. Just wanted to share my thoughts and experiences. :)

Hm, this is interesting... a lot of people misjudge the other woman. But single, successful and super-achievers are often content to be mistresses simply because they are confident and secure in themselves. They those who had established themselves independently. and they are those who knew they could carry themselves whatever is going to happen if their partner/lover leaves. They're not the type who clings and hang-on to a relationship because they needed someone or that they needed to feel secure. These women are happy to share their blessings with the person they love regardless of status. And I don't think that these women are homewreckers they are simply doing their role for the person they love.