First Time Pregnancy-----Women Talking Scared Person A Lot.
By sunshinelady
@sunshinelady (7609)
United States
April 20, 2007 6:56am CST
This happened to me when I was pregnant with my son years ago and I have never forgotten it or understood why women would do this. The neighbor women around the block would come over and have tea or coffee and we would sit down and talk. One of the subjects they would bring up is about the birthing process. What they said had me petrified to go to the hospital. When my son decided he was ready to come into this world my husband raced me to the hospital and it was different than the horrific picture my neighbors had painted me. The pain was not so much that I couldn't bear it. In my case my son was born four hours after I entered the hospital. To this day I remember having pain but don't remember about it as the beautiful event of my son coming into this world and the crying I heard far overroad the other. It is a beautiful and blessed event to bring a child you have been bonding to for nine months and finally get to see the precious bundle. When I saw the women in my neighborhood I told them what I thought about their conversations and let them know if I ever heard them scaring another first time pregnant mom they would have me to answer to because that was not a nice thing to do!
4 people like this
13 responses
@sunshinelady (7609)
• United States
20 Apr 07
You could be right about the women. I also having had my son knew that there was pain but it did nothing to overshadow my little fellow coming into the world. I was a very proud mom and didn't even remember what the pain was like. The women didn't like what I had to say but to me that was too bad. I didn't want another women going through what I had gone through. The baby coming into the world is the most beautiful of event and when I heard my son the only thing that popped in my mind in wonder was that my husband and I had created this little fellow and how precious he was.
2 people like this
@byfaithonly (10698)
• United States
20 Apr 07
When I share my 'nightmares' of delivery I like to also include that I did have extremely large babies, my youngest was 10lbs 10oz and 24 inches long. And also tell the story of the pastor of my mother's church at the time I had my first. After the birth this Pastor came to visit me in the hospital and brought a single long stemmed rose. He explained to me that rose was like childbirth - as you go along the stem you encounter the thorns that poke and hurt but when you get to the top you have this beautiful flower. I've always remembered that message.
2 people like this
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
20 Apr 07
I don't think they meant to scare, I heard the stories too, but I also knew that giving birth was different for everyone, and some people really die have so much pain they want to die, and others don't feel any at all.
3 people like this
@sunshinelady (7609)
• United States
20 Apr 07
They probably didn't mean to scare but it did scare. My mom had ten kids but she never talked about it. She would come home with another little bundle and tell us what a beautiful child it was. For me giving birth had pain but seeing my son when they showed him to me replaced the knowledge of the pain with joy of seeing my son.
I went to your site on your profile page and it is a outstanding site. I will be going there on a regular time.
2 people like this
@jerryn (819)
• United States
21 Apr 07
My first pregnancy was 34 years ago and I was really frieghtened. Stayed sick the entire 9 months throwing up whatever I ate. There were other women in my neighborhood that told me I would really have some major pain. Boy were they
wrong. I ended up having to have my labor induced because I developed toxemia
and my blood pressure was really high. I was in labor for 16 hours but the pain wasn't that bad. I had a spinal block and drelivered a beautiful 6lb 1oz
girl. She'll be 35 in Sept and is still little and precious to me. Just goes to show you can't believe what others tell you all the time. Everyone is unique in their own way.
@sunshinelady (7609)
• United States
22 Apr 07
That is right each person is unique in their own way. They are precious people that God loves. I get sad when I think of all the horror stories that are told to new moms scaring them out of their wits. There is a lot of times I wish people would just mind their own business. The blessed event of birthing a baby is a very special event. The pain is there but forgotten quickly.
@byfaithonly (10698)
• United States
20 Apr 07
That's funny, I was just the opposite. I went into my first pregnancy thinking "it can't be all that bad or all these women wouldn't have 8, 10 kids". I got a rude awakening, all 4 of my deliveries where horrid, my shortest was 14 hours and that's hard labor pains 2 minutes apart or under.
I think first timers should have both sides of the story. A young girl I worked with had her first last year. Before she delievered she kept asking about mine and I shared, trying not to terrify her and stressing how wonderful it was once you had that baby in your arms. When she delivered it was under an hour of labor and said she never really felt any 'pain'... I was so jealous :)
@byfaithonly (10698)
• United States
20 Apr 07
Yes that would make a difference I always stress that every women and every delievery is different.
2 people like this
@sunshinelady (7609)
• United States
20 Apr 07
It wouldn't have bothered me had they said that some women it is not bad and for some it is a hard experience. But they had painted a black picture of what it was like to bring your child into this world.
1 person likes this
@mememama (3076)
• United States
20 Apr 07
I was working when I was in my first trimester and I heard nothing except horror stories, from a man whose wife had a stillborn, someones cousin got paralyzed from an epidural, you name it, I heard it. I think it's terrible for people to talk about things like this with a pregnant woman. I bet none of it was true either. It's always "my neighbors sisters friends cousin had an epidural and now she's paralyzed". Or "my friends brothers wife had a forceps delivery and now the baby has holes in his head".
2 people like this
@sunshinelady (7609)
• United States
21 Apr 07
I have heard it said how cruel kids can be but adults can be worse. Adults should know better. Whatever the reason that they tell these stories the stories are totally uncalled for. I myself have wondered if some of these stories are true. People can have such sick minds.
@sunshinelady (7609)
• United States
22 Apr 07
Your welcome. I want to let especially new moms that of course each individual birth is different but the pain is not as horrible as some women would want you to think. You take that precious little bundle into your arms and caress that angelic face and every thing is wiped out. You have a miracle that you are holding right in your arms.
@angelface23 (2494)
• United States
20 Apr 07
well I had a c-section and my scare came from the ob-gyn's office! After my c-section, I had a lot of pain and I made an appointment to have them make sure the incision was okay. When I was leaving the checkout lady told me that one of their patients was at Pizza Hut after her c-setion and that her sutures broke and her uterus just fell out! I was so horrified. Then of course she was like, "But I'm sure that won't happen to you" That made me feel so much better. Not.
@sunshinelady (7609)
• United States
21 Apr 07
Women can be insensitive on some issues and this is one that I have found that women that have babies do have a tendency to tell what I call horror stories. I think the empahsis should be on the joy from seeing your child come into the world. You went to the ob-gyn's office for reassurance and didn't get any. What the check out lady said was totally inappropriate and very insensitive.
@pinks0da (328)
• Philippines
20 Apr 07
Maybe they were just sharing their experiences. Women who have bore babies have their own experiences, some so painful some not so painful and some are just okay. Theirs perhaps was really painful that they generalized it. Good thing you didn't totally believed. What we can do in order not to scare other women especially those carrying their first is to share to them the joy of seeing and feeling the baby for the first time and give words of encouragement in order not to scare them. You can start changing the course of the conversation to make it more encouraging and exciting. :)
@carmine_16 (100)
• India
21 Apr 07
yes, you are absolutely right. Some women relish troubling other pregnant women by making such a big thing out of the pain. Yes, it is a painful event but one tends to forget it. We are blessed with forgetting the pain and only remembering the event of the birth of our child. But some women want to only remember the pain and most important event of their life and happiest moment of their life is forgotten.
@sunshinelady (7609)
• United States
22 Apr 07
Yes that was a very happy event for me. I remember there was pain but I could not have told you how bad it was or even if it was very bad right after I took my son into my arms.
@finethings101265 (64)
• Philippines
20 Apr 07
your right, giving birth to a child is the best thing that happen to every woman..imagine from your womb comes a child..i remember some friend will also tell stories about the suffering of giving birth to a child perhaps this is their way of warning us or preparing us how would it be when you gave birth becuase different woman has different way of giving birth to a child..some were easy, some are hard. i am so lucky that i gave birth easily.
@jeramie (23)
• United States
20 Apr 07
i got pregnant when i was 19. the pregnancy itself is not scary or even the giving of birth, i was just scared with how the nurses and doctors treated me. i gave birth in a public hospital. and nurses and staffs there are the most rude and mean person ive ever met, and some said that they jst dont tolerate women always whining and crying while in labor coz they want to make the women stronger and more independent..but still that scared me and decided to not get pregnant again
1 person likes this
@sunshinelady (7609)
• United States
22 Apr 07
Don't let those insensitive bores make you decide not to get pregnant again. Different women have different pain levels. I have heard that public hospitals have some cold hearted people. Not all mind you but some. If you get pregnant again just make sure you research the hospital you will be going to. Go in and meet the nurses and tell them your concern. They are not all like the ones you experienced at the hospital you were at.
