Having the parents stay over
By delenep
@delenep (212)
United States
April 21, 2007 4:55pm CST
My husband's been away on biz this w/e and I've had the dubious pleasure of hosting my parents while he's been away. Dubious becos on one hand it's nice to have them around, but on the other I get undermined in front of my child at every turn. My initial reaction to my husband's suggestion about them staying over? Do they have to? I'd rather b alone. Of course, when we called to se what they were doing, they were already ready to come stay. It's strange tho, when we lived 1/2 a world away, it was kinda nice to have them come visit (for about a week b4 the jetlag faded, then the snide remarks and causing stress would kick in). Anybody in the same boat? I do love them, but my husband and child r the centre of my world now and they just dun seem to get it, preferring to cut us down instead of build us up? Anyone else dislike having their parents over?
4 responses
@marksp (6)
• South Africa
23 Apr 07
I see that you are from South Africa. The crime rate is very high there so I'm sure that He has good reasons for wanting your parents to come over. Even though they may be very hard to get along with I think He loves you so much and that he feels that it is his only option. I'm sure that he must love you dearly to try and make you feel safe while he is away.
@horsesrule (1957)
• United States
22 Apr 07
My parents are similar. They undermine at every opportunity, they belittle me, they cut down and do not build up. It's very stressful and I can't stand spending the holidays with them but what can you do? They're the only parents I've got so I just try to ignore nearly everything they say. Plus it helps that I am on anti-depressants and am in counseling too.
@delenep (212)
• United States
22 Apr 07
Whoah, antidepressents and counselling, just cos of ur parents? Now I can understand needing it sometimes, just from being around mine, but is it really that bad? I have to admit tho, I'd prolly be in ur shoes too if my husband wasn't so great and didn't support me so much. He's my knight in shining armour.
@Gemmygirl1 (2867)
• Australia
22 Apr 07
My Mum likes to play 'Mum' whenever she's around my daughter so yes i do feel very similar to you - i have my own family now but she doesn't seem to understand.
I think it's wrong that they're like that with you, maybe you could let them know you'd rather they didn't come to visit any more unless they can quit the put downs & undermining you all the time.
I guess it depends on how open you are with your parents & if you feel you can be 100% open with them. If you can, then let them know - maybe by phone or letter - it's easier that way. If not, then next time they come by, lock the door & hide until they go back home - LOL - nah, i dunno what you could do but next time your hubby decides he wants them there with you, make sure you let him know you're not interested coz you're quite capable of being home alone for a weekend!
I wish you loads of luck!
@patricia24 (568)
• Philippines
22 Apr 07
Id rather dont want to see my parents come visit because sometimes they just have some comment that let me irritated. Id rather home alone thanto visit by my parents or my parents husband.
