SLEEP ON IT - Is it a GOOD way?
By whyaskq
@whyaskq (7523)
Singapore
April 22, 2007 9:26am CST
There is this couple who were always quarrelling over small little things. The husband would feel disturbed, trying to figure out where go wrong and who is at fault. They would not talk and see each other for some time. When they finally met again (through the cajole of some concerned friends), she behaves as if nothing has happened.
What happened to the wife? Why was she able to take it so easy? After the quarrel that day, she just went home and sleep on it!
That was her unique way of handling unresolved problems and conflicts - Sleep on it. The reason being "It was too confusing to think.".
There are many ways to resolve problems and conflicts and sleep on it is just one unusual way. Sleep on it? Is this a good way to resolve conflicts? Will the problem go away automatically?
When a problem crops up, do you take action to resolve it, or do you sleep on it? Do you find out what went wrong and who is at fault? Do share your views.
3 people like this
22 responses
@eriennenadine (211)
• Philippines
23 Apr 07
My girlfriend and I usually have this problem whenever we get into fights. We are so different in how we deal with our arguments that sometimes, it leads into another argument! She is the type who needs to, as you say, sleep on it. She's very quiet during our arguments, and refuses to say anything unless she has slept on it. She tells me that this allows her to calm down and it gives her time to think about things with a clear mind.
I, however, am quite the opposite. I always want things to be solved right then and there. I can't take it knowing that we're not together and we're still in a fight. I can't understand how she manages to actually sleep while I'm still so troubled over what happened!
But I do recognize the virtue of "sleeping on it." It allows you to, like she told me, think things through with a clear mind, and prevents you from making rash decisions that you might regret later on!
@Darkwing (21583)
•
22 Apr 07
I don't think when people say "Sleep on it", it's in order to find a solution to the problem. I think it's more of a calming action, when you're angry about something somebody did, and you're advised to sleep on it so that you're calmer and have had time to think about what annoyed you in the first place, thus dealing with it in a better way.
In the case of a problem, it still might be better to sleep on it, because if you're tired when trying to resolve something, you can't find the solution so easily... you keep going round in circles with clouded mind. A sleep freshens you up and you are able to think much more logically, with much more reason in your "fresh" mind. Therefore it does aid you in decision making.
Just my thoughts... brightest blessings my friend.
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
23 Apr 07
I will take action to resolve it and I would never go to sleep on an Argument that is one of my Policies as you do not know what is round the Corner
I certainly would not act as though it never happened I would think about it and then take action to resolve the matter
Sleeping on it and pretending it never happened does not resolve the Problem it ignores the Problem which means the Problem will always reappear
@dpk262006 (58676)
• Delhi, India
25 Apr 07
I just cannot understand who the problem gets resolved if a couple is not going to discuss it. Just 'sleep on the problem' will not automatically solve the problem. I think there is no better way to resolve an issue than communication. It would be a better idea If they communicate and discuss the matter. 'sleeping' will create more mis-understanding.
@charms88 (7538)
• Philippines
22 Apr 07
A problem will never go away no matter how hard you tried to push it farther. You may try to sleep on it but ended up having a sleepless or restless night, and wake up having to face the same dilemma again.
It is better to settle it right away. There is always the danger of piling up all your problems until the day everything will erupt like a volcano. Petty matters should be easily resolved while major ones usually takes times and days. You need to dissect and analyze the problem on hand before coming up with the best resolution. For a married couples, there is no sense in trying to put the blame or pin pointing who is at fault. It should be a matter of helping and supporting each other.
@lynboobsy11 (11343)
• Philippines
22 Apr 07
Maybe it depends on the problem there are problems that can sleep on it and wait for the answer until it came. But there's some problems that may got a solution right away specially when it's already helpless. But for me it is right to talk about before going to sleep eventhough they can't solve it atleast they are aware that they have a problem to solve. The hardest part of a couple is sometimes they have a problem but they afraid to face it and talk about it.
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
22 Apr 07
It really is, especially when you are angry. It is better not to say things or make quick judgments and decisions when you are angry. Once you have slept on it or have had a few days to think it over. Many situations are not as bad as you previously thought. You are now more calm and clear headed and you can make better choices.
1 person likes this
@barryallen (941)
• United States
23 Apr 07
i think petty quarrels is better when you just sleep on it but serious problems should never be left unsolved
1 person likes this
@ag_abscruzmd (2283)
• United States
22 Apr 07
It really depends on the person and who that person is interacting with. "Sleeping on it" indeed could help solve many problems. It's a form of defense mechanism for those who want to avoid conflict. Whether the conflict would be resolved or not would not matter to those couples whose personalities are fine with "sleeping" on their problems. To some, though, there's a need to resolve conflicts, as the same issues may arise again. Thus, it depends on what works for the couples. Happy myLotting!
1 person likes this
@bluewings (3857)
•
22 Apr 07
I think it works for some people.When a problem gets too complicated and there is no clear solution,sleeping on it might clear the mind. When caught up in an argument ,sometimes our mind digresses from the real issue in the heat of the moment.Giving it time might give us a better perspective.However,it doesn't work with everything or for everyone.
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
22 Apr 07
For general problems, I think it is a good enough solution. After all, you might dream of the solution... your inner voice might speak to you. Along those lines.
But for relationship issues, I guess perhaps it is not that wise. Especially for couples who are literally sharing the same bed. They just need to talk it out and settle things in the open. :P
@Poltergeist34 (78)
• India
23 Apr 07
sleeping over a problem doesn't matter how petty it seems, the problems will never get resolved until & unless we have a good look at it. There are various kinds of solutions for resolving various types of problems & the solution too varies with each Problem.
If a Husband & wife quarrel it maybe over a petty issue but the first step to a solution is talking about it. Expressing each others views & most importantly listening to what the husband or wife is saying. A problem which is acknowledged is half solved. so i say that sleeping is no way going to resolve a certain problem
1 person likes this
@gwenmari1029 (1481)
• Philippines
23 Apr 07
problems won't be settled if i just sleep on it. for start, i can sleep on it to think of possible reasons behind every actions then i try to talk to my husband on how or what i am feeling towards things around us. together, we find actions on how to solve problems and we amend to it. then things will just move on as if nothing happened but the lessons are their in our minds.
1 person likes this
@maddysmommy (16230)
• United States
28 Apr 07
It may work for some people but for me, I wouldn't be able to sleep after an arguement with my hubby. I would be constantly thinking (still angry and maybe crying LOL), tossing and turning, trying to figure out what just happened, what he did wrong and why I blame him for it (because of course I'm never wrong and nothing is ever my fault!!)
Besides, my husband never let things slide and always wants to sort it out before we go to bed so sleeping on it doesn't work for us.
@keithstieneke (823)
• Lincoln, Nebraska
22 Apr 07
I don't know whether this is a true story or not but rather a hypothetical one in order to start a conversation. I would have to say that although this might work for the short term it shows that there is some underlying problem or problems and unless these are dealt with the quarrels are going to occur over and over again. People should take action to resolve problems.
@fushigi_yougi (44)
• Philippines
23 Apr 07
Yeah! when i have a problem i really sleep on it..
i guess it is the very best way to forget all your worries in life except when you will have a nightmare!! hehehe
anyway i really like to sleep though...hehehe
thats my all!!! thank you
