How should I react to my brother now ??

That's really hard. It's difficult when you are not really comfortable and happy with a member of your family. I guess, If I were you, I will just let him be. He can do whatever he wants to do but if ever he cross my boundary of how other people should respect me and your father in your case, then he'll hear aout how I feel and I just hope that after it, he'll change for the better. I hope that this problem will pass soon.

Well that is a rough situation to be in. I would certainly want to confront this man. I am sure your father was just being giving to him out of the kindness of his heart and maybe your father never expected anything in return and just maybe your father even thought that there was a chance that this man would turn out to be the way he is now. But that doesn't make it right. I know that sometimes it is just easier to let things go and to ignore this person and be done with them. But this person is family and from what it sounds like he has disrespected your father. I know that when it comes to my parents, if someone disrespects them, I am going to be sure to tell them about it. I think that it would be just fine if you confronted him on his behavoir now. I mean as sad as it sounds, he may not realize how terrible he is being. If he has a great amount of money now, he may just be letting it take over his life and behavior. I think it would be beneficial to sit and talk with him. If he doesn't understand where you are coming from and what you have to say, then you may just know his true heart. I wish you luck. =)

WOW that is a handful of mess isn't it? Hmmm well me being of the impatient nature type I would make it a point to mae sure he knows that Not taking the type and effort to thank your father was disrespectful and you find it very selfish and ungrateful! Let it go after that but I guarantee that the next time he comes to a family event HE will be the uncomfortable one! A leopard always shows his spots! It will happen. Be the bigger person and not go on and on over it, jsut mention you thought it was disrespectful. He will get it!!

there's a saying in the Philippines, "ang hindi lumingon sa pinanggalinga, hindi makakarating sa pupuntahan" translated, it means "he who turns his back to where he came from will not get to where he is going" a fitting saying to how your bro is now. . i can understand it was upsetting and frustrating how he must have treated you. . .but believing you're a kind man, just let it go and know that you've done your part in giving out kindness to him. . but i agree also to what the other poster said, if he becomes disrespectful to your dad in front of you, don't just let it pass. . tell him that it was enough for him to disregard your kindness but to be pay you back with rudeness is a different thing. . .

Well i would like to say that first of all get some time to talk to him and let him know what exactly is going through your min. I guess you guys might have been close when he was with you all these days right. There is a possibility that if you can get to talk to him he can understand what is wrong and what is right. Don't insult him , that is what i can say cause that is not the right way you should deal with one person. Though you might have helped him a lot you can expect some respect in return. But when they are not in a stage to give that respect to you, better don't hurt them. Be nice to him, explain him what he should do and what he shouldn't.

I think try to ignore him... I'm not saying that his actions were good. But just like your father told you he just extend his helping hand to his own nephew. He will also realized that when all of his family members ignore him he might begin to think "what's wrong with my actions? why do they hate me?" Don't step down to his level you are both educated so you better practice it...

leave it.dont keep on thinking over it.one day or another he will understand you and your father and he will realise if he is a good human being.otherwise he wont.dont insult or pinpoint about your help to him.you have done the help without any expectation.It wont be easy to digest the betrayal easily.but try to forget it and as far as posible try to avoid going out or spending time with him.forgiveness and avoiding will make him to realise his mistake.

Just let things take their own course. Why should you stoop to anyone's level. But if he continues such rude behavior then you all should reduce your outings with him. He will realize in his own time.

Some times people need to be reminded of their good fortune and I believe that this is one. If your father has helped him selflessly why not remind him that the very least he can do is show your father respect. I would not bring you into the equation, as then it would seem like you are trying to look and act better than him. He just needs to be reminded that he is where he is because of your fathers sponsorship and that a little respect is due.

This type of incident has happened in our family and in most families i believe.My father's sister & her husband passed away very soon when their 3 children were very young.So the responsibility to take care of this 3 fall into my father & my uncle.They took care of everything from education till their marriage.But after a stage like you have mentioned these people started reacting so differently after earning some money on thier own and started speaking to other relatives that they really had tough times in the past and with their own effort they have come up to this level.Like your father my dad is not so much worried about this issue but myself and my brothers are really frustrated with this people and we just keep away from them. So its better to keep a distance with this person..hope he realises his faults & keep a healthy relationship with your family.I think this distance will make him understand his errors.

If he have already helped him, there is nothing you can do now that he turn ungrateful. To knock some sense into him, I will remind him to behave properly. He can be well now because of the support people gave him. Should any unfortunate happen again, he might not get any support or help again. Just remind him and let him decide for himself. No need to confuse yourself over it. It is his karma, as what you say. What will happen will happen. Just let it be :P

Oh my God am encouraged by what your dad said. That he was helping him just as an uncle and because he wanted to help him. I think your dad is absolutely right. If you want to help someone, never expect anything in return, but just help him or her just because you want to and I tell you that you have nothing to loose, cos you added value to that person's life. Remember, blessed are those who expect nothing for they shall never be disappoinged. Thanks and have a nice day.

I've had a few of my family act like that, when you help them, then they turn into creeps. I usually just cut them off and have nothing more to do with them until they act like a decent human being again. They are not worth any more of your thoughts until their behavior improves.

I think it's wise for you not to mention anything right now as he is such kind of person and your remarks will only cause his shame turn into anger and arouse a incandescing conflict between you and him. You can just remind him to be more respectful to your father because "he is your uncle". If he is clever enough, he can give a further thinking about it.

That is so wrong that he wouldn't show respect after all your father had done for him. Really where would he be today if it wasn't for your father's generosity. I would stick it to him hard. If you simply ignore it then there is a chance that he will think that it's okay the way he is treating people. Your father should not have to put up with that. What did he do over the weekend????

there is a saying by Tagore "dhonitire protiddhoni shoda byango kore, dhonir kache hrini se je pache dhora pore" i.e. the echo always mocks the actual sound as it is aware how much indebted it is to the actual sound. its a universal rule that people whom you help continuously, turn their back on you and refuse to recognise you once they are out of your help. maybe they suffer from inferiority complex and dont want to own up that they are indebted to somebody particular. your father, being more mature than you are, understands these sentiments and have thus decided to ignore such people. it will be in you good too, to ignore such kinsmen in future. it does hurt, i wont deny that, but its best not to remind them of what you did coz they themselves know their weakness and would not like to be reminded. if you persist or tell them, they might even insult you. so its best to forget such people and wait for their karma to overtake them.

Although I, myself believe that what goes around comes around. I find it mighty rude that your cousin is treating you and your dad this way. If it wasn't for you two helping him get the education he did, he would not have that money now. He should be really thankful towards you and your father, in helping him achieve success and I would let him know just how disrespectful he is being. I don't much tolerate those who I have helped disrespecting me, and I really get upset when I hear stories such as this. Yes, I would give him a piece of my mind, but it's up to you and what you want to do in this situation. Although I hear karma can be a real stickler for punishment, so in the end he'll get what's coming to him no matter what.

I'm sure it is hurtful when he is ungrateful to your father and to you. There can be any number of reasons for his behavior. Perhaps looking for those reasons will temper you hurt and anger with him. Some people are very uncomfortable when they feel they owe someone. That feeling of being indebted creates a distance between people. Men, especially, have trouble feeling indebted and sometimes become arogant, behaving prideful as a way to deny their more vulnerable feelings. You also need to look at why you helped him in the first place and what your own expectations were. If you gave in order to feel "better than him", expecting him to be grateful and humble, then you set yourself up to be hurt. Your father has a good perspective - he was only helping him because he felt it was the right thing to do. If you are still feeling hurt you may decide to stop helping him. And if he asks why you can calmly explain that you don't feel he appreciates what you do and that you were hurt by his ungrateful behavior. At somepoint you will be able to speak to him about it in a neutral tone and learn what he was feeling. I hope that comes with maturity.

A great many people that we come across in our lives are not grateful to the people to whom they owe their success to, but there are two ways of looking it. People who really help others out don't really look for a payback or recognition. While I don't mean to say that it is wrong to expect a little gratitude, you don't need to feel hurt or wronged if it is not shown. You are right about Karma. You have done your bit by being helpful and nice when it was due, so you will be rewarded for your actions. About your brother's actions? Well, he too shall reap the reward of his actions and reactions. Peace be with you and God bless!

...unfortunately there are people who seem to forget easily where they came from or what they were before or who have helped them along the way - when they seem to be on the path to success. such people will surely get a dose of their own medicine sometime - but for your peace of mind - i think it would not hurt to remind him of the past. then if he is proud of his achievement so far, he should also be able to look back to those people who has been part of it or who has helped him to achieve it. but it should not be in public - its best to invite him over for a cup of tea, just the two of you and tell him exactly what you have noticed and what feel about his recent behavior especially towards you and your father. tell him that you don´t understand it at all. tell him that you or your dad dont expect a payback for helping him out financially -but you two surely deserved a little respect. in case he has not much interest in hearing you out (like most men i think!!!) - then, you can go directly to the point ---that his disrespect towards you and your dad is simply unacceptable ---considering that your dad has help him get to where he is right now -financially. i hope for the best for you. wish you luck!