Keeping parents in old age homes should be avoidable

Hi agilucy, I agree keeping parents in old folk homes should be avoided. But sometimes when famlies are so busy, they resort to putting their parents or grandparents in Old Folk Homes. I definetly will never put any of my family in the homes, even if I was really busy, I would adjust my life to suit my parents or grandparents short lives...

I used to think like you too, but until I was put into a position that pushed me to the brink of a nervous breakdown and had to eventually put my own mother in a Nursing Home I learnt you should not say anything about this sort of thing, you don't know all circumstances, there are many conditions to do with the elderly that proves they are better off being looked after by the people who are trained to look afer so many different conditions, yes it is sad, the elderly sometimes become very clever and demanding in their old age, they learn very quickly how to push the buttons of loved ones, they sometimes will do more for people who are not connected to the family, it is very easy to say people shouldn't put their elderly parents in nursing homes but sometimes it is for the best unless you are trained on how to handle them....I am hoping people of today will not automatically expect their children to look after them when their turn comes unless their children really can cope and really want to, we should all accept that everyone has their own lives to live and we should accept being cared for by professionals can sometimes be an accepted option. Can you imagine what strain it would put on a marriage if the elderly person being cared for did not get on with your spouse, a lot of people do not get on with their in-laws. But I think most of no-one should be made to feel guilty because they have opted for this professional help in caring for their elders, when you are talking about Alzheimers and such illnesses it is at times impossible and last thing anyone needs is a guilt trip, as it is hard enough for everyone...I think one obligation a son or daught should have is finding the best place, a place that is checked out and a good place to be and most all visit very regularly....