Do you keep secrets from your spouse?
By Jennifer21
@Jennifer21 (2476)
United States
April 23, 2007 8:23am CST
I personally think that relationships should be built upon honesty. If you cannot be honest and cannot trust your own spouse, then the relationship is due to fail.
But, I have found a few little secrets that are just better kept to yourself.
When to lie:
1) If your family hates him/her
This is an unfortunate situation, yes. But if you tell him/her, you'll only fuel the fire by making them angry or insecure. If you don't agree with your family's hesitations about him/her, then politely ask them to butt out. Just do what you can to make them change their minds and hope they'll warm up to her with time.
2)If you flirt with others
If you are the flirtatious type of person, this is the kind of secret best kept to yourself.
3)If you think your ex was better in bed
DO NOT ever say this. If this is true, well, all you have to do is wait and with time, the two of you will work well together.
These little secrets are best kept to yourself. Do you ever tell little white lies to your spouse? If so, what?
2 people like this
9 responses
@dmillman (2273)
• United States
20 Apr 08
Everybody has secrets, which I totally agree are good, and bad. It depends on the secret and why it's a secret. If you're doing it so that you don't hurt your spouse, then I agree. But if it's a secret that you know that you're spouse will not like, then it's a problem. Like if you're cheating, telling him will hurt him, but not telling him will end up hurting him more in the long run. White lies are OK, but big lies are bad. Luckily he's better in bed than any of my exes, so I don't have to lie about that one. He knows that I'm flirtatious, just as he is, so we don't need to worry about that one. There are certain places I just won't go to with him so I don't see the flirting going on, and he does that same with me. I lie about little things, not the big things.
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
20 Apr 08
I don't lie to my hubby, but I do keep harmful comments from him. The way I see it is those that make the comments don't have to live with him. I do defend him if I know their statements are uncalled for. If I find that they are correct I do comment on how he is from a different culture and his way of life was different from ours. That seems to help them understand where he is coming from. Sometimes not though.
@histechnoangel (356)
• United States
16 Apr 08
My husband and I have told each other EVERYTHING and will continue to tell each other everything. I have watched my friend's relationships crumble and they keep secrets and lie so often it's a wonder they even got into a relationship in the 1st place. I don't want to be lied to and will give my husband the same respect.
@ellie26 (4139)
• Malaysia
30 Apr 07
We all have secrets that we keep. It is all up to us whether we want to share it or just keep it. As for me, I have some secrets that I will not share with my spouse. Most of the time I share secrets with him. If we know that telling something that will only trigger an arguement between you and your spouse, it is better to bury that secret for good.
@rhane7315 (5649)
• Philippines
18 Apr 08
i also have some of my secrets that i keep on my own. i never tell anyone because it might slip out accidentally lol
@Marie2473 (8512)
• Sweden
23 Apr 07
All people have secrets and the world would not be sane if you had to tell all people everything. There are things in my life that I also like to keep to myself until I feel really comfortable telling. I have been betrayed in the past, by telling secrets so I am cautious by nature.
The three things you said though are things I definately agree on, except maybe the first one,. This is something he most definately will feel and then what?
@mnflower (1299)
• United States
23 Apr 07
I think that honestly is the only way to keep a marriage together and once you start lieing or keeping secrets you are breaking your vows and are on the downslide of the relationship for the distrust will start and it is way to hard to try to build trust back up. There is absolutely no reason to lie to your spouse none is acceptable in my book, only if you wish to end or cause trouble in the relationship.
