Mind Your Own Business!!
By Ambur25
@Ambur25 (1006)
United States
April 23, 2007 2:59pm CST
Someone help me out here. Why is it that no one can let other people live their own lives?! Why is it that someone else always has a "You shoulda..." Or "Why don't ya..." or "Why did ya..."
Are we not all adults here? Don't we all learn by mistakes? I'm not saying I wish you wouldn't give me your opinion. But, at least give me your opinion and leave it alone. Whether I choose to follow your advice is up to ME. Not you, but ME. If I like something, SO BE IT! Maybe you don't like it. So WHAT?! I DO! If you don't like it, FINE. Don't buy it! O.o But, I happen to like it.
No one knows who "I" am because they are too busy trying to make me what they think I should be. I am me. I am Amber. I am a mother, daughter, grand-daughter, aunt, sister, friend, care taker, teacher. Maybe I'm not what you want me to be. But, I AM who you need me to be... when you need me to be it. So why try to mold me into something else? My "molding" years are over. I'm an adult with two children of my own to shape and mold into adults with minds of their own just as you have done for me. You've helped my brain shape into what it is today, now let me use it! I need a chance to prove that I AM worth it, and I CAN be more than you think I am.
(End Vent Session) ;/
2 people like this
4 responses
@wifeofharvey (1156)
• United States
24 Apr 07
While I can understand your vent I am wondering if you have put yourself in the place of these others for a few moments? Do you see love and concern behind all the comments? And just because someone says something doesn't mean you have to do it, and you already know this. Is it important for you to let them know you are going to do it your way?
You say you are living with your parents again? Well, as a parent who has had grown children and their children move back home for various periods of time I would like to say this----------are you respecting the fact that you are in their home? That the guidelines you have for your children may not be appropriate in your parents house? While parents do need to let go of control, sometimes it is the younger generation that is insisting on their rights regardless of who else is involved.
2 people like this
@Ambur25 (1006)
• United States
24 Apr 07
Ironically (or not), I think my parents feel this same way. I think it's a "Parent of grown children" thing.
But no. I was raised to have nothing but respect for anyone other than myself. Yes, you read that right. I would rather sit down and take a beating, than to hurt someone else's feelings or disrespect them, especially in their home. So, I haven't and won't say anything to them about how I feel.
My "Guidelines" for my children are far more strict than my parents would prefer. I have an 11 year old brother, btw.
The fact that I am in "their home" has taken the highest seat of priorities. I know they didn't have to let us move in here for the short time we'll be here. I'm not just some arrogant child that decided to go off on a rampage because I didn't get my way.
Let me shed some more light on this subject. There's a fine line between supporting a child, and pushing a child. A child needs to be pushed when they're doing something where they could get hurt, or hurt someone else.. A child needs to be supported when they are making a decision that isn't going to hurt them or anyone else, Such as paint for the child's home, or a car they want to buy, or the shirt they want to wear for the day. Yes, I'm 26 years old and I still get "pushed" into doing things that I should be able to make my own decisions on. Was I exaggerating when I mentioned what shirt I would wear for the day? Not at all. =)
It's just one thing after another. Rather than being "I want better for my child than what I had." It's more like, "I don't want my child to get better than what I have now."
1 person likes this
@wifeofharvey (1156)
• United States
24 Apr 07
Thank you for the added info. And its nice to hear that you do respect your parents.
I know parents can be a real pain in the butt over stuff. I just wanted to give the other side a bit.
I don't know how you can stop parents from doing that sort of pushing. I know I have to pull myself up short to keep from doing it, and my kids are in their 40's!!!!!!!!!!
Maybe if you tried to make a joke out of it. With them, not as in laughing at them.
2 people like this
@makingpots (11915)
• United States
23 Apr 07
I feel better already FOR you. Lol.
Unfortunately, you are still letting them mold you by giving them the power to have this much of an affect on you. They are still pushing all of your buttons and I am guessing it is because they probably 'installed' those buttons. Stop giving them access to your buttons!!!
Take back the power. What is that saying.... something like 'no one can hurt you without your permission' ??
Best of luck to you. We all can relate on some level I am nearly sure.
2 people like this
@royaltyuniverse (56)
• United States
23 Apr 07
It is amazing how uniform your issue is. I think most of those that give unsolicitaded advise are those that have a void in their own life. I think it is easier to simply ignor them than argue with them.
