Amazing

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Just when I think my life might just get better... it comes crashing down yet again. I don't understand why my life has to be so difficult. I don't think that I will ever understand it either. I cant help but feel like crying every single day, regardless of how big of a wimp I look. I feel like I cant do anything right, and that I cant please anyone no matter how hard I try. I cant even please myself anymore. I want a boyfriend, and every guy I meet turns into a jerk or the first time we hang out together he wont call me back or anything. I'm not that different a person than anyone else? What's wrong with me? Do I smell funny? Look wierd or something? I think I'm the typical teenage girl just out of high school. I may have some different priorities than others but how much different am I really? It hurts a lot when you meet someone you REALLY like, and then they want nothing to do with you all of a sudden. I don't know why I bother. Maybe it's because i have a little hope left inside me that my life might change soon. I've gotten used to the fact that I'm stuck in Rochester for a while, and I'm dealing with that. I just don't want to be stuck in Rochester and be alone. I cant handle it, I'm practically all alone every day and all day. Who do I turn to when I'm alone? I try and be strong enough so that I don't have to rely on others, but no matter what you do you have to rely on someone else for something. I'm feeling right now that I should get used to the fact that I'm probably going to be without anyone for a while. I've dealt with it since the beginning of February, I can deal now. I've got to right? I need to stop rambling, not like anyone really cares anyway. =(