Mother's Day, After Separation

I think the classy thing to do would be to take your child shopping and help her pick out a gift for her mother. Like you said, she is still your child's mother and you should be encouraging that relationship just as the mom should be encouraging your daughter to love and respect you. Even if she is not, be the bigger person.

Does your daughter like to make things? Have her make her something that way you aren't really spending anymoney. Or just buy a card. Why a gift? Perhaps just a card and a flower (say a carnation) and have your daughter give her that. If the new boyfiend can't handle her getting something from her daughter, then perhaps we need to reavaluate a whole new situation here.

I think in this instance your feelings aren't really important although they are understandable. It's what your daughter feels that really matters and I imagine she will want to give her mother a gift. It's irrelevant whether your ex's new boyfriend would think of doing it or not - she's your daughter so you would likely be the one she would expect to take her shopping for a gift (and pay for it too!) I know it's difficult but I think you should put your own feelings to one side on this occasion.

You're a good man for being thoughtful enough to even consider this!!! For that I respect you. Your ex-wife is still the MOTHER of your child, so yes this is your responsibility, because you are the child's father. If the child had her own money, I'm sure she'd buy her own mother's day gift. If you help your daughter buy a mother's day gift for your daughter's mother, it will make you a bigger person. If "Mom" is willing to help your daughter buy a father's day gift for you, then it will put the two of you on equal footing. My fiance's ex-wife is having a baby in a few days. I am knitting a baby blanket for the little girl. I am not doing this to gain points with the ex, I'm doing this for the little one who happens to be a member of his family (in a way) because her mother is also the mother of his children. Abi will be a half-sister to his children.

She is and will always be the mother of your daughter. I would think for your daughters sake that it would be better if you did your best to keep things cheerfull between the two of you. Give your daughter a price limit and let her choose something even if it is just a card or something small. Im sure she will appreciate the thoughtfullness on your part. I hope all goes well. Seperation is a hard thing for every one to deal with.

Personally, I have been through two nasty divorces. I will say this, regardless of what your feelings are for your ex-wife, she is still the mother of your child. So she should have some appreciation. I wouldn't buy it for her, I would buy it for your child to give to her. I think that would be best.

Sorry but I really wouldn't worry about what the new boyfriend thinks. I mean your daughter from what I am getting is not old enough to go out on her own and get something. Now if you don't want to spend money for whatever reason when you have your daughter you could have her make a card or something like that.

Your daughter could color a picture or draw or do some sort of craft. Or you could buy something small from your daughter to her. Why does it have to be anything that has to cost a lot of money. Something very small and inexpensive will do just fine like some chocolates. She may not be expecting anything from her daughter anyway.

As much as you hate you have to do it for your daughter, you can't depend on the boyfriend, and you should never have to, the child is yours, do the responsible thing and take your daughter to go get her Mother a present, let her pick it out, then you can't be held responsible (if she is old enough) otherwise, just get something simple and be done with it, it will get easier with time.

As hard as it is, I think you will feel badly about yourself if you don't help your daughter get a present for her mother. YOu seem like a nice guy, even though you are hurting from the separation. Remember you once loved this woman enough to make a baby with her and even though it hurts nopw, you still care about her. Making sure that she has a gift from your child on Mother's Day makes you the better person. Hopefully, next month, she will show you the same respect.

Being divorced myself I can understand your uncertainty about what to do. In my opinion, you should take your daughter out to get her a mother's day gift because the gift would be "from your daughter". I am not sure how old your daughter is but she will love the idea of someone taking her to get her mommy a present. Just think of it as buying your daughter a present and not your ex. My ex and I still exchange gifts and cards on Christmas and Birthdays. But then again we get along better now than we ever did in the 10 years we were together. Her new boyfriend really shouldn't say much of anything because it is a gift for your daughter to give to her mother not you. Hopefully this helps you a little bit. Good Luck! (and remember it is for your daughter) :)

She is the mother of your child. I think that you should still take your daughter out and buy something. I know that it has got to be hard but you and her will always have your daughter in common. Nothing can change that. I know that you don't want to spend your own money on it but sometimes you just have to sacrifice those kinds of things if you want to or not. You still have to show her even though there are still rough times between you two that you still care enough to take your daughter out to get something for her.

My parents had a pretty nasty divorce and on fathers day my mom gave us a few bucks a piece to go out and buy my dad something. Of course my dad never did give us a dime so we never got my mom anything unless my grandparents came to the rescue. (They divorced when I was young) Regardless of your feelings for your ex, you should allow her to get something small for her mother. She did give you a wonderful child and for that you should be grateful.

I have a suggestion. Instead of going out with your daughter and buying your ex something, why don't you let your daughter make her something. You can supervise her and you won't be spending your money. It would show that you care for your daughter very much and show that you are man enough to acknowledge the mother of your child. Just think of it. A gift that is homemade is way better than a store bought gift. I am a mother and I help my girls make homemade gifts. They end up giving them to me and I love it. It means so much to me than a store bought gift. It tells me that it came from the heart. Just think about it.

you could still be friend and remind her on how glad you are to be the mother of your children, there is nothing wrong about that,,

Take your child to go buy her mother something. Set a price limit. Don't let your bitterness come between your daughter and her mother. Regardless how much I hate my exhusband I always allowed my daughter to buy him, his wife and his son gifts. Even though we really couldn't afford it.

Hi Myrrdin. I was just thinking about your situation and if you really don't want to spend money why don't you have your daughter come over for a few hours and help her make her mom something? She could make her a card or something. Just a suggestion, good luck!

I fully respect you for your thoughts in this matter. I would help your daughter to make a card and perhaps let her buy a bar of mums fave choccy! Nothing expensive. I think in the long run you will build a stronger bond with your daughter doing these sorts of things. By doing these things at an early age your daughter will be more likely to come to you in the future. Good luck.

Well first of all, I have to say that I think it is great of you to even concern yourself with this discussion. I mean, many men would just say oh well, we are not together, I won't even waste my time thinking about it. Secondly, yes, I do believe that you should take your daughter out, and let her pick something out for her mother. Regardless of what has happened between you and your ex, she is still the mother of your child. She gave birth to a wonderful gift. She should be appreciated, at least for that. You can let your daughter pick out what she would like to get her, let your daughter wrap it, and even write on the card...that way, it will be more personal and be obvious that it is from your daughter to her mother...well that is if your daughter is old enough to do those things. Also, just as a side note, when I was a single mom, my children were so upset when mothers day came because they didn't have the money to buy me anything and they knew their dad would not spend "his" money to get me a gift. That hurt them, b/c they wanted to give me a gift, so please remember that regardless of your feelings, your daughter loves her mother and would probably be excited at the idea of getting her a gift for mothers day. I have a feeling you will make the right choice on this one. Good luck and have a great night.

your a good guy, you're a thoughtful one to consider it. anyway, if you dont want to spend money for a gift, then make a simple card and have your daughter draw something in it, a heart or a flower or a little girl with mother. or any simple craft that your daughter could make would be a great gift.