What should I do???
By chaygylmommy
@chaygylmommy (2470)
United States
April 23, 2007 5:09pm CST
Ok, my sister has been living with her boyfriend for a year now. They have a 1 1/2 yr old son together. They have had 3 wedding dates, but have not followed thru for one reason or another. Well, she called me today and told me that they are going to get married Friday evening at the Justice of the Peace. She went on to say that they were gonig to do it Saturday, but her 5 yr old daughter has a soccer game. Well, my son has a tball game Friday night. I will probably just tell the coach we aren't going to make it so I can watch her get married, but I am sort of aggravated. She says she shouldn't have to work her wedding around other people's schedules and I agree with that, except when it's something so quick why can't she try to find a time around everyone. I told her that my son had a ball game (just joking with her, of course) and she got all mad. Welll, I want to be there for her, but she has changed plans so many times and she is scheduling around some things. I just don't know. I know this is supposed to be her day. But, I just can't help but be a bit aggravated.
What do you think? Am I being just totally rude?
5 people like this
20 responses
@jeweledbluerose (3061)
• United States
23 Apr 07
I don't think you are being rude. Everyone has their own lives to live, and she shouldn't expect everyone to drop what they are doing just to be there at her wedding. Especially since they have scheduled it three time prior and haven't followed through. In my mind I would be full of doubts and the like about this time around as well. I hope though this time she does follow through so you aren't redoing your schedule just to be let down again.
3 people like this
@Vissers (2)
• United States
24 Apr 07
I understand what you are saying. But consider this, maybe she really wants you to be there and is afraid that if she doesn't follow through this instant, it will be another opportunity lost in her union. Maybe you should sit down with your sister and express your concerns and let her know that you are willing to go to the JoP with her and witness it, but also let her know that you and your child are giving something up just to do that. The best way to get through things like this, especially someone you care about, is to be open and honest. Best of luck and wishes, and let her know I said "Congratulations!".
2 people like this
@lissaj (532)
• United States
24 Apr 07
No, I don't think you are being rude. She made three other dates that people cleared their schedules for, so she can't expect everyone to just drop what they are doing to be there for her. I hope she doesn't cancel this time. In the end, you will probably go, because she is your sister, but you have every right to be irritated, and she should understand that.
@texasclassygal (5305)
• United States
24 Apr 07
No, you are not WRONG, your sister is wrong for thinking that you should drop everything for her when she wants to try and get married and if she doesn't do it again you would have canceled your son's game for it, just like she has not gotten married the last three times. You know when you cry wolf too many times, people just stop listening to you.
2 people like this
@roniroxas (10559)
• Philippines
24 Apr 07
rude is not the word for that.... i think you are getting pretty tired of this kind of annoucement. when things like this always needs to rescheduled it is not that exciting anymore. for example i have a friend and if ever she has a new boyfriend she always tells us that she is going to married this guy.... well shes on a fourth boyfriend right now and she still say that shes going to marry the present boyfriend. well we all gottired of it.
@jennybeans (912)
• United States
24 Apr 07
I don't think you're being rude, and I also don't think she should expect you to drop your life to be there for her impromptu wedding. Maybe you could ask her if she really wants anyone to show up, since she's planning it for it to take place in 5 days, and is only now telling people about it. I know my husband and I got married at the JP, but we didn't want anyone else there. That was more offensive to people than telling them at the last minute, but I reasoned it out by finally explaining that this was our day, and we wanted to keep it just between us.
She is right, she shouldn't have to work her wedding around other people's schedules, but that rule only applies when she's given at least two weeks notice.
2 people like this
@danishcanadian (28955)
• Canada
23 Apr 07
It all depends on you, not on her. I had to blow off my cousin's wedding on Saturday night because of the amount of people, and the fact that I do not do well in crowds. She knew this, and was OK with the fact that I was not going to be there. I was not going to sacrifice my sanity just because she was only going to get married once. She understood that it just woudn't work for me, because of 500 people. It was my decision and she respected it.
2 people like this
@Darkwing (21583)
•
24 Apr 07
No, I don't think you're being rude at all, because she has called off her wedding so many times and your son could miss his tball game and she call off yet again. Is there some way you can drop your son off at the tball game, watch her ceremony and then return to your son? That way, everybody's happy. Or if you have a hubby, then maybe he, or another tball player's parent would take your son to the game, whilst you attend the ceremony? That way, everybody would be happy, don't you think?
Good luck with this... and Brightest Blessings.
1 person likes this
@chaygylmommy (2470)
• United States
24 Apr 07
thank you for your input. i do have a husband, but he's in florida working and I don't know any of the other parents very well. but, we'll get it figured out. i haven't told the coach yet just in case she calls it off again. LOL
@whiteheather39 (24403)
• United States
24 Apr 07
You are not being rude. Your sister is being very inconsiderate if she expects everybody to just drop everything when she wants them too. What is to say she doesn't change her mind again as she doesn't have a very good track record.
2 people like this
@crazynurse (7482)
• United States
24 Apr 07
Wow, four days notice. That is what I consider rude, as well as the three previous dates that were cancelled. Are you supposed to just sit with your life on hold, awaiting her special day? Sorry, I feel that the one who has been a bit rude is your sister. Lets hope that she goes through with it this time so that you can get on with your own life! Ha!
2 people like this
@FloatingGum (346)
• United States
24 Apr 07
I don't think you are being rude. I think you have every right to be upset with the way she expects everyone to drop everything at the last minute for her.
But here's the caveat, do you have other family? I mean, if it's going to cause a rift in the family, especially if you have other siblings or parents still alive, then you are better off just having your son miss his game and sucking it up. Either that or see if one of his friends can take him to the game and bring him home or have him stay overnight.
It's just not worth it to blow her off if it's going to cause huge problems later on down the line. You have every right to be irritated, but sometimes even though we are right, we have to be the better person and suck it up to keep peace.
Hope everything goes well :-)
1 person likes this
@chaygylmommy (2470)
• United States
24 Apr 07
Yes, I do have more family...my other sister and my mom and dad. HOWEVER, now she's changed it to Friday during the day!!! LOL Well, my other sister is a school teacher. I talked to her last night and she's NOT taking off work to go and she's NOT taking her kids out of school for it. I won't take my son out of school, either. I will go, but I just think it's pretty lame of her to just drop this on everyone with 4 days notice and then expect everyone to work around her. Thanks for your input. :)
@kylanie (1205)
• United States
24 Apr 07
I think you are completely justified and that you have all rights to be aggravated and I can understand the way that you feel and maybe this time she will go threw with it and finally get married if she don't then be there for her but if she does then be happy.
@bad1981 (799)
• United States
24 Apr 07
Nope, you arent being rude at all. When they had 3 other dates and didnt follow through with them then I understand why you feel this way. Also, she couldnt have gvien you a little more notice then this...people have lives and you arent just sitting around waiting to have her call and hear she is getting married.
I hope it all works out for you.
2 people like this
@speedy1279 (2665)
• United States
24 Apr 07
I don't think you are being rude in the least bit. It's like the little boy who cried wolf. After awhile you just stop believing what they say is true. It is very aggravating and you have ever right to be annoyed with her decisions.
1 person likes this
@floramwaters (1595)
• United States
24 Apr 07
I don't think that you are being rude. I would just tell the choach that there is a possiablity that your son may not be able to attend the game and that you will let him know differntly one way o the other as soon as possiable. That way if the wedding does not happen again your son can still go to his game.
@rx4life (1930)
• United States
24 Apr 07
You can have your inner feelings and know you have past history to back them up..but if indeed she IS getting married on Friday maybe you can just be there for her and overlook her inability to schedule this wedding in advance!!! It's still her wedding day and if at all possible you should try to lay aside the discontent of any of the inconvenience and help her celebrate her union!!!! In 20 years you all can laugh about the irritation you felt about your son's tball game vs her impromptu wedding ceremony!!! :)
@tdbrower1969 (1242)
• United States
24 Apr 07
No, I do not feel that you are being rude. With the record of them not following through with the wedding ceremony, I hope you are not cancelling your sons game for nothing. It just seems a little non-caring that she decides at the last minute that this is when she is going to get married. Do they not want people to be able to attend the ceremony? That would be the question rolling through my mind. I know that people sometimes do go to the justice of the peace, but usually they give more notice than just a few days. I hope everything goes well and good luck to you.
@sameervasudev (36)
• India
25 Apr 07
hi samir her.everyone has right to live according to himself but in your case i think you have to be rude as they have not married and they have a child.if they get marry then forgive everything and accept them.all the best.
