Has anyone been a foster parent?

Teens are very hard. I'd advise sticking with children nearer the ages your children are right now. By teens the kids are very difficult to handle. Some are bigger than you are. They learn to drive -- and speed and have accidents. A lot of them have developed an impenetrable shell because of the adversities they've lived with in their lives. Plus, you'll want to help them, and there's only so much you can do by that time. And 99% of all foster teens have behavioral problems which they could easily pass on to your children.

It's sad it has to be that way because there are so many teens out there desperately needing good homes. However, the needs of your own children have to be your priority.

You know what? My aunt told me the same thing the other day. I think I am going to take yall advice. thank u!

It is hard to parent your own children much less foster children if you are working full time. I found that out the hard way. I thought back then that I might want to become a foster parent someday when I wasn't working. However, now that my children are grown, and I have taught kids for so many years, I'm kind of enjoying my much more peaceful life at home. It sounds selfish of me, doesn't it!

It's not selfish. If you want to be a foster parent it will take all your energy and it takes a very special kind of person to be able to do that. You have helped children in other ways that are also very important, by teaching them and you should be proud of that.

Ok a kid that damaged obviously should talk to someone maybe you should have brought him somewhere. But being a parent is all about the same things whether there yours or not, you have to love and take care of them, and no matter if they have issues or not theres going to be problems. My niece was born retarted do you think that because thats my sisters actual daughter that it makes it easier for her to take care of her?? Its not easy at all, being a parent. if you cant handle it tham maybe you shouldnt be one!

Being a parent means putting aside your own needs and concentrating on what's best for the child. Being a foster parent is more difficult because 1. you don't have the natural bond with a foster child that you do with your own child, and 2. a foster child comes with a lot of baggage from former neglect and abuse. It's difficult for them to trust. They often don't know what love is. Everything about normal family life is strange to them. My foster son always said that I did "wierd a... cooking." I am a good cook, and I fixed meat, potatoes, vegetables, casseroles every night, but he just wasn't used to that. In fact, at home his mother fixed food for herself and her husband. They ate first, and if anything was left, then this boy got some. If not, he went hungry. And this was one of the minor things he endured. He refused to tell me about all of it, because he didn't want me to have to deal with it or feel sorry for him.

Goodness, you certainly are hostile. It seems like you go off on me no matter what I say. I loved this boy like he was my own. I spent 8 years working with high school special needs kids. He was one of my students, and I knew he had major problems before I became licensed just to take him. He counseled with his social worker every week, and he was also required to talk with his probation office on a regular basis. I worked with many kids who were severely disabled as well as those who were environmentally disabled. I did the best I could for all of them. I have also raised 2 wonderful children of my own. My daughter is married with two beautiful children. My son graduated from college and is employed as a Mechanical Engineer. What right do you have to be so judgemental of my parenting skills?

I am a licensed teacher. I've already been through tons of classes, including some graduate classes.

All the hassle and red tape made us decide we didn't want to do it again. After our foster son graduated, we got out of foster parenting.

o that would make things pretty repetative and boring then.

im sorry i dont know why that posted twice

I agree with everything you said. We always wondered why we had to keep taking classes about parenting when the biological parent never had to do anything. It seems to me that if she was the one having the problem, then she should have been required to take the classes in an attempt to help her become a better mother to her child. We were already successfully raising our own children, so why did we need parenting classes?