"How are you feeling?"

That eternal question, "How are you?" is pretty much punctuation to most folks. They don't even care to hear an answer. They expect "Fine, thanks. And how are you?" For years I'd automatically say "Fine." But I usually wasn't fine. My life was a shambles and I was a mess. But I'd be polite and say "Fine." I said something about that to a counselor and they said I should try saying "As well as can be expected under the circumstances." Then if they were really interested they'd ask for more information about the circumstances. Now I respond with "I'm good!" no matter how I feel physically or emotionally because I know that I am a good person and I can be honest when I say I'm good. I don't think they really want to know anyway. If it is someone who knows I have chronic illness and who cares about my answer I will say, "I have good days and not so good days. Today is a ______ day." But only if it is someone who truly cares about me. I seldom complain, seldom volunteer information about how I'm feeling unless I'm specifically asked by my mate or someone who wants to know if I'm up to doing something that day. I had a grandmother who took to her bed with no known illness. In retrospect I wonder if she may have had Fibro and Chronic Fatigue or perhaps was clinically depressed. Back then those diagnoses were not known to most family doctors. I feel sad that she didn't have the help available to her that is available today. I'd have liked to have known her. She had a hard life, I've since learned, and she could have taught me a lot. She was pregnant and married at 15. When she was married she couldn't even reach the kitchen cabinets and my grandfather built a box for her to stand on. She had four children die and four survived into adulthood. Her husband was in a TB sanitarium for a time. In those days that had to be kept secret or people wouldn't have anything to do with you. Her husband kept a mistress that everyone knew about. When they moved from one state to another he moved the mistress before he moved his family, kept her in a house within walking distance of the family home. I learned all these stories from my mother many years later. But we know next to nothing about my grandmother's family. Apparently she was estranged from them. I guess what I learned from her example was that it doesn't help to "take to your bed." And that we never know what makes other people do what they do, choose what they choose. I wonder if she would have made different choices if she had the rights and resources available to women today.

This is a beautiful post you opened here carolee, and there are beautiful things that you said here. The most appealing thing that you said here is that you made your choice. You could have easily given up and see the half empty cup, but you choose differently. I know that when i read your post i did think that it is not about other people and what they are thinking about you. sorry or not sorry. It is all about you, how you see the world, and how you see and treat yourself in this wonderful world. I do believe that you see the wonderful things that inside of you, and that you know that when you will say that you feel great to other people as a response, you know you will believe in the words you say. You know it helps you believe in those things. It is very clear that once you feel that way, other people will also see you that way. I am glad you shared this post with us and yes we are beautiful, arn't we. :)

Yeah I try to be the same way with having multiple sclrosis. I get up and think I need to get up it's a new day. I also think positive things thinking and talking negitive only makes things worser for yourself and everyone else around you. I am glad to here you feel Wonderful. I feel great today myself :)

This is really a touching post. People like you are big inspiration for people who are presently ill and for those who are hopeless in life. Life is what we make out of it. Even if we're in a middle of crisis it still depends on our outlook in life to rise above it or just be sorry for ourselves. Thank you because you feel wonderful and it makes me feel the same way.

So glad you are feeling wonderful :) I'm tired today and my grandpa is very ill. Plus, I get to work late tonight (But I don't dread going to work). I'm glad to be alive though and glad to have such a wonderful family and a great group of friends. I realize I have a lot to be thankful for. Love your post because it definitely puts in perspective how we really feel when we say we feel 'good, great, or wonderful.'

I am feeling wonderful first that all my family members are in healthy and in good condition.Secondly i feel great because all my dreams are coming true,my son got admission in a reputed school,i had booked a big house for our family and due to the grace of god there is no interuption in life, life is going on smoothly.

thank you so much for sharing.. i guess im gonna have to express myself in a manner where most people will feel great and will be happy to ask how am i.

i feel so wonderful today...even a little bit tired but i am glade to past this day with love from people around me, especially from my wife.

Hey I am so glad that you feel wonderful. As of right now I have lost my voice over the weekend. I feel fine except my voice. I have suffered 31 mini stroke a couple of years ago and doing good and got my life back in order now its my voice. Have a great day.

I'm glad you're feeling wonderful. I would rather be up out of bed and in the sun too.

I love your writings Carolee! Absolutely beautiful!

Wow thats very very positive attitude. Being positive to the things that was happened to us. We always stay positive so that we will do self pity. Being positive is the only key to accept everything thats may cost onto us. Remember that EVERYTHINGS HAPPEN FOR A REASON ok. It doesn't matter how many times we fall on the ground but it only matters how many times we get up from the ground to start another beginning of our endeavors.

i'm truly agree with you, i just have the same feeling as you. my mum is a disabled person, she just can't move naturely as a normal person, but she never show her weakness to others, she told me we'd learn to grow and be strong. i've learned lots from her, i'm really appreciate and admire her, for her spirit give me strength to face the difficulties thant i meet in life!

ahahahahhaahhah i feel funny rite now . hoe bout u sunny tang?

Hello,caroleekaufold,I always think being positive is very important in our life,no matter what happen, if we are thinking positively, we will be able to get over it as we will not give up in the hard time.It is even more important if you are fighting against diseases,may be positive thinking is a medicine for some incredible recovery of some patients. We have to move on no matter how we think, so we should think postively and we will feel much better. Thank you for your discussion.