Helping others out?

Sorry but I wouldn't help them. They are just wasting their mone on things that they don't need to be. You shouldn't have to bail them out each time they need help and they are old enough and should be responsible enough to know better than to rely on ya'll and others to pay for them.

umm yeah, i would say if you're buying ring tones instead of diapers, they dont need your help. i would not help them. you have to help yourself. sorry youre stuck in a situation like that. it's hard since its family. it seems like they're just using people for "luxuries" b/c thats all cell phones are compared to a babies diapers and gas to get around.

It is true that they are never going to learn if everyone in the family bails them out but then no one wants to see the little one's go without food or pampers or anything in a house hold . If this was someone is our family I would help them out but would tell them that they only reason I am helping out is because I can afford it at the time . If I couldn't then I would tell them that I was sorry but as much as I would love to help that I also had my own bills to pay and my own children to support and would let them know that as much as I loved and cared for them that I couldn't bail them out all the time and maybe they should consider looking into different options on how to spend their money . If they hit rock bottom they will have no other option then to start managing better if they wanted anything for their children as ring tones are not that important in life . It would be hard to have a conversation like this especially with a family member that you don't want to see anything bad happen to but at the same time it is not your responsibility to take on their dept because they can't figure out their priorities in life .

I have a sister that is just like this. She is always spending her money on things that don't matter. Yes, the kids need to have things that are fun, but I think heat would be a better choice! I have given up helping her. About a year ago, it seemed that the only time she would ever call me is to ask for money. I would see her name on the caller ID, and say NO, I'm not giving you any. My oldest actually told her on the phone when he answered that I didn't want to talk to her if she was going to ask for money! I was embarrassed, but she hasn't asked for any since. LOL! The last time I lent her money, I made her sign a contract. During the time frame that she was to pay me back, she was to put all her monetary resources towards rent, gas & power, food, etc. NOT going to the bars, toys for the children, and other luxuries that I can't afford! She hasn't paid me back fully and she broke the contract. NO WAY am I going to help now. I will, however, take the kids if she's taken to jail for bouncing checks. ;P Don't bail your BIL anymore honeybear. Tell the rest of the family that as well. As long as you keep being the enabler, they'll keep taking advantage of your generousity. Neither one of you wants that. Best of luck to you!!!

I would stop helping them out, I was too caught in helping out for things that were needed but put aside for stuff wanted but not needed.A sponge can only take so much soaking!

I have several family members that do things like this. Because I don't like to see the children suffer because their parents are selfish I normally cover whatever the children need. For the longest time I would buy what some of my nieces and nephews needed. I have cut back on helping so much because I don't think that what I am doing is really helping the parents. Its not teaching them to be responsible which in turn means that the children won't learn to be responsible either. I have upset several family members because I no longer help them as much as I use to. But last week one of my brothers thanked me because I had backed off. He said that he had been mad at me when I first started to refuse to help but now he realizes that the reason I had stopped was to benefit his family. Don't get me wrong I still help its just not as much as it use to be. The best thing you can do is tell them that until the start taking steps to help themselves out that you aren't going to be able to help them. They will be upset with you but if the are truly family they will get over it.

I'm afraid I would have to say no. They will never learn to be adults if you continue to treat them like they are children. You cant keep bailing them out like they are 15 and got in trouble at school.

My daughter and her husband are that way. He has been in prison twice and has all these fines to pay and they bum off everyone they can each month to get these fines paid and will not even bother to look for a job. They use my granddaughters child support to go out and party and buy pot and expect everyone else to pay for their stuff. The only difference is, when I refuse to help them, then they threaten me with my granddaughter and I am not allowed to see her. My daughter was never raised to be that way. I feel like I failed motherhood somehow.