Folly
By jackie_mmm
@jackie_mmm (886)
Philippines
April 25, 2007 2:46am CST
I guess it's all my fault. I wrote something about this man, and I'm now regretting it. I should've known I was just trying to preoccupy myself for lack of nothing to do, aside from work. I told you I was in love with him, but it just hit me how wrong I was when I told you I was in love with him. I was trying to bring back the old memory of my former boss, my first love. It sounds cheesy, but it's true. My boss swept me off my feet a long, long time ago. After four years, i'm still single and have since stopped mooning for men. I guess I was being nostalgic when I said I was falling in love again. It was all a big mistake to say something I've never really felt and meant. I'm sorry if I have deluded all of you into believing I was finally over with my former boss and now moving on. I was wrong to have used another person to make myself and others believe that I'm totally over him. He's still the one, and I'm so sorry. I owe this man an apology. To you, man, I never meant to drag you down with me. It's all my fault, and I'm now admitting to my folly.
3 people like this
4 responses
@bosing143c (564)
• Philippines
25 Apr 07
why dont you tell the man face to face my friend. maybe it will ease the burden of guilt you are carrying and in fairness to the man also, he has the right to know the truth. just an opinion my friend...
@jackie_mmm (886)
• Philippines
25 Apr 07
I'm not sure whether this man knows I'm writing about him. I guess it's better than he doesn't know. If he does, I think he will understand if I can't come up to him and say sorry. I know it was my fault, and he needs an apology, but I can't humble myself more than I already did. I paid my dues, and there's nothing more to discuss about him. He suffered. I suffered. But thank you for the concern.
@whyaskq (7523)
• Singapore
25 Apr 07
I feel so sad for both of you. He is an innocent party and will feel really hurt if he knows the truth. Personally, I feel you might be hurt too. I do not know if there is any possibility of reconciling with your first love, but if there isn't, perhaps it is wise to bury that love deep right underneath the skin and keep it there forever. If there is chance of reconciliation, go for it. Whatever, it is, cherish the present :)
@Darkwing (21583)
•
25 Apr 07
I can relate to this. I've been in a similar position but suddenly realise that it was false hope. It's hard, I know, but if you're really sorry about leading this guy on, then you need to confront him and tell him so. It's possible he will be hurting too.
Then, join the club and move forward with the rest of us who have been there! :-)
Brightest Blessings.
@mummyofthree (2715)
•
25 Apr 07
I haven't read your original posts, but I send you big hugs and warm wishes. It is hard to lose the love of your life. I presume that their are reasons you can't be together with your boss.
The only way to move on is to accept that you love him but can't have him. Therefore you aren't interested in other men, but you can still have a life of your own. Because a part of you feels sad it doesn't need to be the end of the world. Live life, work, study, whatever you want to do. One day you will suddenly realise you're no longer in love with this man. You are in love with the man you knew and what you had together many years ago.
It doesn't happen overnight, it took me ten years! But life does go on and it is far too short not to enjoy it!
I wish you all the best.
