Infertility Hurts
By roseyrose
@roseyrose (9)
United States
April 25, 2007 9:11am CST
Hi,
I am suffering with infertility. ppl who got married after us are either pregnant or have a child. When someone call us for baby shower or tell me that they are preg I feel so depressed and sad that I am not able to create a life of my own. Do u also have the same feeling? Its going to be 2 yrs of marriage when June comes. I am longing to have a child and hear me call "MOMMY".
I am having PCOS and have done my laparscopy last month. I recently went to an infertility expert and she has written a number of blood test and results are expected any time soon. Expense--- I am house wife and my husband is the only earning member and the infertility expense is huge so there is also a guilt feeling in me that its becoz of me that my husband has to spend so much money.
Is there anyone going through the same thing? come let's share our stories so that we can comfort each other. Even though we might be far geographically sharing our feelings and emotions relaxes our mind
7 people like this
13 responses
@academic2 (7000)
• Uganda
25 Apr 07
roseyrose, I dont know whether you have come to the conlusion that you have a major fertility problem-if that is so, I think at this time and age, modern science has made impossible things possible,all I know is that you will be treated and you will have a bounCing baby in not too long a time! By the way two years is not a long time in marriage so dont be too anxious about the time you have been together so far! My own brother and his wife stayed without a child for 12 years! We all had given up, then out of the blue she atarted having children every year for 5 years! They did not give up-i want you to be strong about this and avoid being desperate-you are gona have your baby. Support your hubby, dont leave income generaton to him alone-find ways of generating your family incomes both of you, and plan to have the treatment done- Am going to be praying for you as a firend. Be blessed!
@roseyrose (9)
• United States
25 Apr 07
Hi Academic2 thanks for ur encouraging and supporting words....I feel light now...I am not a US citizen and I don't have the work permit to work in US. I have done my Master's in Computer Science and I see a lotof jobs in US but it fustrating I can't work here. So I have planned to join school to keep me occupied and diverting the society in asking me why I am not still pregnant!! As u say I am now confident that I will get pregnant soon.
1 person likes this
@vokey9472 (1486)
• United States
25 Apr 07
I know this might sound wierd, but there is a silent epidemic of secondary infertility. That is where you have one child, but then have problems having a second child. That is me. We have a son and have been trying for 5 years to have another child. We have had 3 miscarriages in this time. All three were heartbreaking losses. I too have PCOS. It is hard and painful to have a yearning for a baby and not be able to have one. You are lucky in that you are able to seek medical help, I don't have that option. We cannot afford it and our insurance does not cover it. I will pray that God will give you a bundle of joy and that all goes well for you.
1 person likes this
@roseyrose (9)
• United States
25 Apr 07
Hi Vokey,
I thank u very much for ur wishes...I pray to god that u also get preg soon. I hope to hear from u the good news soon. Even I too don't have insurance we are spending out of our pocket as u say no insurance is covering for infertility!! Every friday I fast praying to God I get preg soon. I hope this yr all good things will happen..All the best.
1 person likes this
@mansha (6298)
• India
25 Apr 07
I also suffered like you for seven years after my marriage. On top of it my hubby refused to show me to doctor.At last my father in law had a talk with him quietly and he agreed. I still respect my father in law for sensing my pain. I used to cry alone for hours thinking I will neer have a child. After all tests It was revealed thjat I am totally capable but had severe UTI which was killing sperms. Doctor treated me for that and I was expecting with in three months. After that again for seven years npthing happened and by chance I concieved again last year and now my daughter is ten months old.
My suggestion is do not give up hope and hopefuly your hubby also wants the same thing as you so it doesn't matter and sometimes problem is not in the lady men could have problem too. I jsut hope it works out well for you. Keep praying, it helps.
1 person likes this
@jhoanee (598)
• Philippines
26 Apr 07
we have the same feeling rose. its really nice when there is someone from you called us "MOMMY" although all of nieces and nephews calls me Mommy..lol..but still its a different thing when its from ur own flesh. i really longing to become a mother soon and i hope there is no problem with me to bear a child.
i am hoping that all of the results of your infertility test will be fine and think positive for sure GOD will bless you for what you are longing for just dont give-up. you are lucky to have your husband who understands and manage to do the expenses. dont feel guilty, your husband's loves you that is why he is doing it. goodluck and godbless you and your family.
1 person likes this
@jennybeans (912)
• United States
26 Apr 07
I have a friend who is also in my network who went through a similar situation and after years of struggling to have babies, she is now blessed with two beautiful children. She actually wrote a story about her experience during the NANOWRIMO competition in 2006, and I was amazed at her strength, to know she had been through so much.
Miracles happen everyday. They can happen for you too!
1 person likes this
@okn0tok (569)
• United States
26 Apr 07
Oh sweetie,
I do know how you feel. I cannot have children. My boyfriend and I so desperately wish we could have our own child together to raise. I was lucky though and did have children but I cannot have any now. It brings me great sadness to know that the person I love and want to marry can never share the creation of a child with me. I am also sad because I would have been able to raise this child as a Jew, unlike the others. Sometimes I cry when I think about it.
Sometimes I cry when I see pregnant people.
Have you looked into programs for help with expense? I would research the internet for grants, aids, help and studies or research that help with the cost of fertility expenses.
1 person likes this
@harwoodkp (285)
• United States
26 Apr 07
I know exactly how you feel. The only difference is my wife had 12 miscarriages in 3 years. We saw babies from a lot of couples. It was finally after 3 years before my wife finally had our son.
I dont know what answers you are going to recieve. But here are some things that have helped us and other couples we know. Stinging nettle tea has help others. Look for a natural progesterone cream. Tussien Cough syrup for the two of you, before XXXooo.
We even know one couple that adopted an embryo. Still expensive but not as expenseive as other options.
I hope these things help you out.
@samtaylorskykierajen (7977)
• Canada
25 Apr 07
I can sympatize with what you are saying . After I had my first two childen I was told I would never be able to carry another child again . I realize I was lucky to have already had two children but more then anything in the world I wanted to be able to carry a baby and enjoy my pregnancy without all the complications I had with the first two as they were hard pregnancies with many difficulties . Then I started to miscarry all the time and was told that both my husband and I both had problems and would never carry another child again .
I remember feeling inadequate when I saw everyone else around having no problems even children in school doing something that I was not able to do . I wanted another baby more then I ever wanted anything before and couldn't figure out what I had did to deserve something like this . It was so hard knowing I had lost three of my babies to miscarriage and would never be able to have another child again .
I wish you the best of luck and do understand what you are trying to say but just don't give up hope . I was told I would never have another again and today I proved them wrong when I had two more . It took me a long time to have another as it took eight and a half long years but today I do have my babies and will never forget the pain of losing a child and the pain of being told I would never concieve again .
I pray that you get your wish as this is a pain that only one who was through it can understand fully .
Best of luck !!
@egfitz62150 (645)
• United States
8 May 07
You're in a very hard place right now, I know. Don't give up, though! It may just be a hormone imbalance or something that can be fixed. And DON'T feel guilty about the money!!!!!!!! You are, after all, trying to have your husband's child too! Besides, you both have the rest of your lives to earn money, but baby-making time is limited!
As for other peoples baby showers -- send a present by someone else and stay home if you want. You don't REALLY have to go to the hospital to see someone else's new-born either. Few of these people will truly understand your pain, but they should respect that you are going through a hard time and not push you.
@wachit14 (3595)
• United States
26 Apr 07
I was exactly where you were twenty years ago so I indeed know exactly how you feel. Having a limited source of money to spend on infertility, we opted to take that money and adopt instead and I never regretted that decision for one minute. Today, many insurance companies cover infertility treatment so if you have medical insurance, check with your insurance company to see what they will cover for you. The other thing I did was join a support group. Usually hospitals have groups that meet for women who are going through similar issues. Good luck to you.
@uiwwitch (892)
• United States
26 Apr 07
hi roseyrose. I understand that you are feeling depressed about your situation. It is almost every woman's dream to have children but sometimes, that just does not happen. From what I understand about PCOS, there's still a chance to have children, but as you said, it can be real expensive.
If there's really no chance, then there are other options. How about surrogacy or artificial insemination? There's also the option of adopting. I know that it's very hard to think about these options right now, but it's good to keep them in mind when you're ready.
I hope everything turns out in your favor. Good luck.
@ivylrc (57)
• United States
26 Apr 07
i have a collegue that's the same of your situation, they're been married for 3 years but still no baby to expect.. they also spend much money for infertility expense.. one day when her husband decided to quit his job and focused on their business months later the baby came.. they're so blessed.. i guess you'll just be patient in waiting for the right time for the baby to come.. i also got a cousin who experienced the same imagine 8 years until their daughter came his wife is an overweight so she had to take so many fertility pills for years before it happen..
@smileydew (171)
• India
26 Apr 07
Hai hai twinkle twinkle rosy we are here with rose ,god gives u notty charming cuty chubby baby soon,waits for ur womb with smiley in the heaven, design for ur sake,so it is late for the baby to be very beautifull,so baby comes late on to the earth,be ready both of you surprsingly into your lovely lifes with smiling and cheer up all of a sudden ,every one in this universe have kids,but some or late,so be prepare for all toys and baby items to purchse,work along with your hubby for the future of ur baby,and make the baby fun,baby likes to talk with you in dreams under the glittering sky and notty dew drops ,lovely babby in your hands, jasmine flvours rosy patels on the cute buddy baby,on the flower path u and ur kid,enjoy the dream,every day in future is yor's, never deseperate for present, waiting is tension to mind, but the baby makes u fun so soon,wait for that wonderfull moment,definetly one day u hear " mommy! mommy! i love you" you are my swet heart and soul in this whole universe"iam ur baby cares for u mom everything",do some home work business and help ur hubby like baby until the real baby into you,then every day u ar mom with ur hubby now and later with ur kid,enjoy enjoy and smileeeeeee,makes u the futre smile,bejoin our hands together, and request all friends on this my lot ,join our hands together pray god for the married girls to lovely mothers soon withe thier notty kids cheerup us make the friendcircle joyfull,slove evry one problem ,as simple as that with ALL OUR friendship
![](/Content/images/loading.gif)